How to attract the opposite sex – it’s a subject men have been fascinated by for thousands of years. It’s also a topic that’s more than a little bit mystifying to most. Why do some guys seem to have all the luck and pretty much always get the girls they want? What eternal secret do they understand that other guys simply don’t?
Contrary to popular belief, being the type of guy women obsess over and can’t seem to stop thinking about isn’t about money or looks. Sure, those things help, but you don’t necessarily need them in order to succeed with women. Keep the following tips in mind and you’ll be getting laid more often before you know it.
- Give her a reason to pursue you.
Getting a girl’s initial attention is only part of the equation when it comes to making her obsess over you. You’ve also got to intrigue her enough to get her truly interested in knowing more about you. Women are similar to men in that they really do enjoy the thrill of the chase, so give the object of your desire a reason to chase you. This kind of social sex “playing” seems to be paying off greatly!
If you’ve just met her, you could trigger her curiosity by attempting to guess something interesting about her. For example, if you’re offering to buy her a drink, try guessing what she might like. Lots of women enjoy learning a little something about how other people might perceive them and this tactic presents them with that chance. Other guys like throwing out a playful dis in an attempt to snag a woman’s attention. The idea is to get her curious enough to engage you a little bit.
- Give her a chance to pursue you.
Once you’ve gotten the impression a woman is curious enough about you to be interested, it’s time to give her an opportunity to come after you. Lots of guys are just so thrilled to be talking to a girl they’re interested in that they talk, and talk, and talk in order to avoid any silences or risk her leaving. Confident men that really do get all the girls, on the other hand, do the exact opposite. Be like those guys!
To be more specific, make sure the girl you’re talking to holds up her end of the conversation. You can ask her a couple of questions to show interest, but don’t overdo it. After the first couple of minutes, put gentle pressure on her to keep the conversation going on her end as well. Think of yourself as a prize a woman should be trying to win. If you’re confident enough, she’ll agree with you and respond accordingly.
- Don’t be afraid of teasing conversation.
Once you get the feeling a woman’s starting to come out of her shell a little bit, it’s fine to tease a little bit with your conversation style. Once you’ve got her asking you questions about yourself, try making her work a little bit for the answers. Ask her to guess the answer to something she’s asked you or ask her if she’s sure she really wants to know.
Just use your instincts and be careful of overdoing it. If you respond to every single question she asks using this technique, it could become really irritating really quickly. Worse yet, she could catch on to what you’re doing and it’s game over.
- Try making her follow you.
Once you’re sure a girl is thoroughly enjoying your company, it’s time to give her another chance to pursue you, this time literally. You want to create a situation that forces her to decide right there in the moment to either keep talking to you or part ways.
Gauge the situation by starting small. See if you can get her to watch your stuff for you while you take a quick trip to the bathroom. Try asking her to move to another area of the venue with you under the guise of having more room or a better environment for talking. You’re making her ask herself whether or not she likes you enough to comply and if she does, it’s a good sign. It’s also a great way to convince her that she’s attracted to you.
- Leave her wanting more.
You’ve probably heard someone tell you at some point in your life that playing hard to get is a waste of time. Well, we’re here to tell you that person is pretty darned wrong. The fact of the matter is, playing hard to get actually does make most women more interested in you than they’d otherwise be. As touched on above, the trick to succeeding here is striking a good balance between intriguing aloofness and over-eagerness.
As you get to know a given woman (either there in the moment or over time), make sure you’re not laying all your cards out there on the table. Yes, you should be genuine and give her something to hold onto if you like her, but you’ll want to hold back some of your feelings as well. She’s that much more likely to keep thinking about you. You’re now a mystery to be solved and she’ll likely not be able to get you out of her head because of that fact. This is much easier to do when chatting on an adult dating site like Mixxxer, since you can avoid talking on the phone at first and you can be anyone you want to be.
- Make her laugh.
At the end of the day, everyone likes to be around people with an awesome sense of humor. A person with a great sense of humor is someone that puts you at ease and makes everything just a little bit more fun whether that’s a day at the office, an afternoon trip to the beach, or an otherwise boring night at a tired club. Showing you have a sense of humor not only shows a woman that you like to have fun, but helps convince her that you’re someone that can help her have more fun as well. That’s something literally everyone can appreciate.
Just make sure you don’t take it too far or turn it into a schtick. Being someone that can leverage the power of humor at a time when it’s appropriate is one thing. Being a buffoon that jokes constantly, even during moments that are meant to be serious, just comes across as immature.
- Take pride in the way you look.
Yes, we did say looks aren’t everything, but don’t worry. We’re not about to tell you your chances of getting laid are nil if you don’t look like Ryan Gosling. We are going to tell you that presentation counts for a lot (even if you are lucky enough to look like Ryan Gosling). How you put yourself together says a lot about you and women are a lot more likely to obsess over a guy whose style is on point than she is someone who’s wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops every time she sees him.
That said, start taking some pride in how you look and make the most of whatever Mother Nature gave you in that department. Figure out what colors and styles look well on you and wear those. Comb your hair. Be well-groomed. A well-dressed, impeccably groomed man gives a woman the impression he’s got things to do that are important enough to necessitate an actual “look”.
- Have goals that you actually pursue.
Speaking of giving women the impression you’re an important guy with places to be and things to do, it really helps to have an actual vision as far as what you want to accomplish in life. Women don’t obsess over men that don’t think beyond where their next beer is coming from. They obsess over men with goals – men that are going exciting places and taking journeys that make them hope they’ll be allowed to come along for the ride.
Think of the last time you sat down for an important job interview. Your potential boss wanted to know where you see yourself in five years for a reason. The girl you hope to be dating soon wants to know that too. What goals you set are up to you. Just make sure you have some and that you’re actively taking steps to pursue them.
- Show her you listen to her.
No, girls don’t like “nice guys”, but in a world where so many people don’t really listen to others, it’ll set you apart in a good way if you show a woman you actually pay attention when she talks. Did she tell you yellow roses are her absolute favorite flowers that time the two of you took a walk in the park? Give her yellow roses the next time a flower-giving occasion rolls around.
Has she mentioned any other likes or dislikes in what seemed like an offhand way at the time? Seriously, remember those and look for a way to show (not tell) as far as how well you listen. She’ll be pretty floored and she’s definitely going to be thinking about you later. Try it and see for yourself.