Casual sex is the type of thing that gets a bad rap in certain circles, but it really shouldn’t. No, it’s definitely not right for everyone, but for some people it’s actually many times more beneficial than being in a monogamous relationship. Here we’ll take a closer look at some of the many ways indulging your interest in casual sex is actually an excellent idea for the right type of person, the better to help you determine whether or not it’s right for you.
1. It’s really empowering from a sexual standpoint.
If you’re like most people, you’ve probably had certain ideas about sex drilled into your head from the time you were really young. To be more specific, you were probably taught that having sex is and should be something that happens only within the context of a committed relationship. To choose to do otherwise is “dirty”, “wrong”, and “immoral”.
For someone that was raised on such notions, asserting and acting on your true desires in regards to sex can be incredibly liberating. This is especially the case for women who tend to grow up with even more sexually limiting stereotypes than men do. Defying a widespread stereotype and refusing to let it dictate your life for you quite simply feels good and is well worth trying. It shows others that it’s okay to live their own truth as well.
2. It can help you get over your inhibitions.
The beginning stage of a new relationship is definitely an exciting time. However, it also tends to be a time of anxiety, worry, and apprehension. Since we’re focused on making sure the connection lasts, even the most confident among us is usually hyper-concerned with wanting that other person to like us and think well of us. Unfortunately that can mean we aren’t necessarily as honest and open about things like fetishes or fantasies as we might be later on.
When you take the commitment out of the equation, there’s not as much at stake emotionally. You’re free to be present right there in the moment and focus on having the most satisfying sex possible. Most people are less inhibited as a result and feel more comfortable asking for what they really want in bed.
3. It can teach you a lot about your own sexuality.
As you become more and more used to having casual dating sex, you’ll also get used to being less inhibited. You’ll gradually lose the deeply ingrained urge to self-censor your real thoughts and desires. Plus, being with more different people in a “no strings attached” context will teach you a lot about what you really do and don’t like in bed.
This type of exploration can, of course, happen within the context of a committed relationship as well. However, lots of us wind up with people that aren’t really into sexual exploration or that have wildly different sex drives or preferences. Casual sex lifts a lot of these limitations and leaves you free to gravitate at will toward people eager to explore the same sexual adventures you are. Using sex dating sites is also a great way to meet like-minded people.
4. It can also expand your mental and emotional horizons.
One-night stands, casual sex, and “single by choice” lifestyles tend to be surrounded by stigma that quite simply aren’t accurate. Those that are against them claim to be so because they’re emotionally damaging, especially in the long term. In actuality, the opposite is true. Not all long-term relationships are healthy. A bad one can mean a life characterized by lies, miscommunications, and important personal needs left unmet.
Singlehood and casual dating, on the other hand, can be the exact opposite so long as everyone involved is honest, upfront, and forthright as far as what they want. Choosing to play the field is actually a lot healthier emotionally than settling for a bad relationship. Keeping things casual also gives you the space and freedom necessary to get to know yourself and get in touch with your true feelings about pretty much everything in life.
5. It can make you a much better partner when you’re ready for a relationship later.
Some people really do choose to stay single for life, but many eventually do decide to settle down and commit when they’re ready. Those that have taken the opportunity to learn about themselves both sexually and emotionally by keeping things casual beforehand often have an advantage over everyone else.
People that have spent enough time exploring everything that’s out there tend to have a stronger sense of what they want and expect out of a relationship. They’re more self-aware and they have a better understanding of what it takes to be an attentive lover. They’re also less likely to simply go along with sex they don’t really want or to use sex as a way to manipulate their partner.
6. It can turn you into a dynamo in the sack.
Most of us have at least heard stories about how undereducated it’s possible to be in regards to sex. For instance, there really are people out there that don’t realize it’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm or that really do think missionary is the only sexual position that exists. The public school system isn’t exactly doing anything to help that state of affairs either, leaving people to either learn it at home or figure things out for themselves.
Even so, you can only learn so much about how to have phenomenal sex from simply reading or hearing about it. Experience is the best teacher when it comes to something like sex. Every person is unique as far as what turns them on or gets them off and having more sexual partners makes this very clear. It also teaches you a lot about different sexual techniques, as well as how a potential partner’s body works.
7. It can teach you how to be honest and open.
Some people tend to think of free casual hookups as something that goes hand in hand with deception, lies, and emotional callousness. In actuality, not only does it not have to be that way, but people that really do lie to all their partners almost always run into trouble sooner or later.
Here in the 21st century, people are more liberated sexually than ever before. For that reason, having as much casual sex as you like doesn’t have to mean leading other people on and making them think you’re interested in a relationship when you’re not. In fact, casual fuck buddy-style relationships pretty much require honesty, openness, and ongoing communication if they’re actually going to work. For that reason, they’re a great way to better your communication skills and get used to being up front about your true feelings or intentions in a given situation.
8. It can help you heal from a heartbreak.
We’ve all heard the old adage that says the best way to get over someone in particular is to get under someone else, right? Well, that just so happens to be true for some people. Everyone has their own way of dealing with a bad break-up or a really disappointing heartbreak. For some people a makeover or some time out on the town with their best friends does the trick. For others, there’s honestly nothing like getting laid.
If you’re the latter, don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed of it. So long as you’re safe about it, having a little (or a lot) of casual sex to get past a break-up is actually a lot healthier than doing what a lot of people do and jumping right into another committed relationship before you’re ready. It definitely beats staying home and wallowing in misery just because it’s what polite society thinks is proper.
9. It can add spice to a vacation or trip.
For some people, a vacation is an opportunity to connect with their family, their friends, or a committed partner in an exciting new setting and that’s perfectly okay. It’s also okay for a single person that’s not looking for a commitment right now to be interested in getting laid while they’re on holiday.
After all, a vacation is supposed to be all about making memories, having a good time, and leaving the stress of your everyday life behind for a while. If you were in Rome, you wouldn’t hesitate to go see the Coliseum or chow down on an authentically prepared pizza. Why shouldn’t you take that Italian hottie you just met up on their offer to get down and dirty if you’re really interested? Hot, carefree vacation sex would totally be on the menu for two people in a relationship. Why should it be different for a single person?
At the end of the day, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to keep things casual when it comes to your sex life. For certain people and personality types, it can even be highly beneficial. Why not explore the possibilities today if you’re down for it? A whole new world of fun, freedom, connection, and self-discovery are waiting.