With the abundance of hookup sites and dating platforms out there, casual sex and plenty of it has arguably never been more accessible.
But having a hookup when you want to and actually having memorable and worthwhile encounters are two different matters entirely.
After all, heat is the whole point of having casual sex in the first place. You want to walk away from your hookups satisfied, as well as reasonably sure your partner left satisfied, as well.
Here are some essential tips to remember for making sure that happens more often than not.
1. Prioritize honesty and consent
In a day and age when casual sex is socially acceptable and widely enjoyed, there’s really no reason not to be honest with your partners about your intentions, whatever they are or aren’t.
If you’re not interested in a potential relationship (or if you are), simply say so upfront and encourage the other person to do the same.
Respecting your partners and making sure they fully consent to what’s about to happen is the key to ensuring they have a great time. Being honest about intentions is a massive part of that equation.
2. Focus on what feels good to you
There’s a lot of emphasis these days on making casual sex all about blowing your partner’s mind. (This is especially the case if you’re a guy.) But, while it’s great to want your partner to have a good time, it’s important not to undervalue your own pleasure.
The best sex is the kind that unfolds naturally as a result of two people being completely lost in the experience, playing off of each other’s passion and excitement.
In other words, part of the key to being a good kisser or lover is to intuitively do what feels good and right to you.
3. Talk about what feels good
It’s a common misconception that great sex and conversation don’t mix. Talking about what gets you both going and discussing things you might want to try together is one of the better ways to make sure the sex is phenomenal. If you’re game, you can even discuss fantasies and secret turn-ons – the naughtier, the better.
And don’t forget to communicate once you’re deep in the action, as well. Tell your partner when something feels good, even if you do it non-verbally with a moan or a groan.
Give each other direction in sexy ways. You’ll both walk away happy with how things went down.
4. Make eye contact
Eye contact is one of the easiest, surest ways to inject a little electricity into an encounter, whether you’re actually having sex at the moment or not.
Seriously, think back to the last time you locked eyes with someone you were attracted to who was totally into you in return. It’s a powerful thing, so don’t forget about it.
Look into their eyes as you chat and interact together throughout the evening. And don’t be afraid to let your desire for them show as you hold their gaze, especially if it’s already been decided that you’re going to be getting it on later. It’s a powerful way to connect, let them know you want them, and show them what’s on your mind all at one time.
5. Embrace the idea of sober sex
Sure, there’s something to be said for tipsy sex, as well as for enjoying a couple of cocktails together to loosen up and get into things.
But it’s easier than you think to overdo things (or for your date to overdo it), so if you’re going to be drinking or using anything recreational, it’s best to go easy.
Because too much alcohol is probably the quickest way into a person’s sexual record books for all the wrong reasons. Seriously, nobody wants to be “that guy” who couldn’t get it up because of whiskey dick, who threw up all over his date, or who passed out right in the middle of the action.
6. Don’t be afraid to go for it
The beauty of a memorable hookup – especially the kind with big one-night stand energy – is the feeling that you’re not entirely operating in reality. It’s magical, like anything could happen, so don’t be afraid to lean into that vibe a little bit.
Seize those moments when they happen, and don’t be scared to be the one to make the first move.
Take the lead when your instincts tell you to instead of sitting around waiting for the best parts of your night to just happen to you. And, of course, keep a good read on your date’s vibe to make sure what you’re doing resonates the way you want it to.
Ultimately, memorable hookups can be positively transcendental experiences if you approach them right. So don’t be afraid to do that. You’ll both go home glad you did.