Casual sex lifestyles are becoming increasingly more acceptable and with good reason. Keeping things purely casual lets you enjoy an active, healthy sex life without the need for a commitment you might not actually be ready for or equipped to handle. You don’t have to worry about keeping the magic alive the way you eventually have to in a relationship either. Instead, you get to connect to different people as often as you like and experience sex at its very best – exciting, alluring, and fun.
For many people who love casual sex, one-night stands are the ultimate way to get laid and scratch that familiar itch. They’re thrilling, they’re hot, and they’re incredibly sexy… when they’re done properly, that is. Otherwise, they can just as easily have disaster written all over them. Here we’ll take a closer look at how you can make sure your one-night stands are always awesome instead of awkward.
Fantasy vs Reality
If you’ve never had a one-night stand before, you should know right out of the gate that they have a lot in common with other adventures likely to appear on someone’s sexual bucket list (e.g. threesomes or public sex). As far as the fantasy goes, they’re things that “just happen”. In reality though, great one-night stands require you to not only know what you’re doing, but to plan ahead a little.
Otherwise, something that seemed like a good idea last night could easily look like a huge mistake in the morning. At best, you could wind up waking up to an awkward, uncomfortable situation. You could also wind up hurting someone, hurting yourself, or stuck in a situation that’s anything but “no strings attached”.
Choosing Your Candidate
Don’t assume that because a one-night stand is the ultimate “no strings attached” encounter that it doesn’t matter who you have it with. Great experiences you’ll be fantasizing about for the rest of your life start with smart choices as far as who you’re taking to bed in the first place. Don’t choose a friend, an ex’s family member, a co-worker, or anyone else you know and are likely to have to deal with again in the future. Instead, try the following places for meeting ideal candidates.
Bars or Clubs
Bars and night clubs are classic places to meet a one-night stand for a reason. They’re full of eligible men and women, many of whom are more than open to the possibility of a fun, casual encounter. Plus, everyone’s already there with a common goal – having an absolute blast. It doesn’t exactly hurt that drinking and dancing are both often involved either.
If you’ve never gone to a wedding solo, it might seem like the last place you’d be likely to meet a one-night stand. It’s a whole different ballgame if you do show up on your own though. To begin with, everyone there already has romance on their mind, so they’re primed and ready to be a little more impetuous than usual. Plus, there’s an open bar, a dance floor, and plenty of time to shoot the breeze with eligible strangers. Need we say more?
It happens more often than you might think. Someone’s temporarily in town on a business trip or on vacation and they’re on their own. Every so often, they find themselves in the mood for a little companionship. Then they conveniently fly back to wherever they came from. Keep that in mind the next time you’re at a hotel for a quick drink, an event, or a business meeting. If you play your cards right, that hottie over there at the bar could wind up rocking your world tonight.
On the Street
A surprising number of casual sex aficionados say they’ve actually met one-night stands on the street, on public transportation, or even in line at the grocery store. If you’re the type of person who loves chatting up random people when you’re out and about, keep your eyes peeled for a possible one-night stand candidate. You never know who might be in the mood for a little adventure.
Sometimes you’re just too busy, too broke, or too shy to think about going out and looking for one-night stands in person. If that’s ever the case for you, then the right hook-up app could be a godsend. You can connect with hot, horny singles that are thinking exactly the same thing you are from wherever you happen to be at the time. Just whip out your trusty smartphone and log on! For best results, choose an interface that’s specifically designed for people interested in casual sex and one-night stands (like Mixxxer).
Handling Things Like a Boss
Let’s say you’ve done it. You’ve successfully crossed paths with a smoking hot, absolutely ideal one-night stand candidate. Now what? How do you make sure your night is one to remember, as opposed to a train wreck you’d rather forget? The following tips can help take the guesswork out of the process.
Keep the beer goggles off.
No one’s saying you have to go into a one-night stand stone sober. A couple of drinks is a great way to calm your nerves, get conversation flowing, and muster up the courage to bring a hottie home in the first place. Just try to avoid getting totally smashed. A few drinks too many can mess with your ability to perform, not to mention remember what did and didn’t happen in the morning.
When in doubt, go to your place.
When it comes to “your place or theirs”, it’s ultimately up to you. Given the choice though, it’s probably best to pick your place. In the event things unexpectedly go south and the evening becomes a disaster, you’ll have more control over the situation (and possibly also roommates to help you out in a pinch). You won’t have to make yourself comfortable in a strange bed or apartment either.
Be respectful of the other person.
Yes, it’s a one-night stand and you’re probably not going to see the other person again after tonight. No, that doesn’t make it OK to forgo common courtesy or treat the other person disrespectfully. Fall back on everything your grandmother taught you about being a good host and/or a polite guest. Be respectful and considerate. Don’t be selfish (with orgasms or anything else). In other words, treat the other person the way you’d want to be treated yourself. The ideal one-night stand is a pleasant experience for both people.
Experiment, experiment, experiment!
The great thing about one-night stands is they exist in a bit of a vacuum. That means you’re free to really let loose on a level you might not be comfortable with if you were pursuing a relationship. Experiment, go for broke, and be extra dirty if you find the mood strikes you right. Expectations and pressure aren’t issues here the way they might be in a relationship. As long as you’re using protection and staying safe, anything goes!
Once you get the hang of doing things properly, the occasional one-night stand makes a wonderful addition to a carefree no-strings-attached lifestyle. Start exploring the possibilities today and prepare for the experience of a lifetime!