There are lots of reasons why a person might choose to have an affair. Affairs can be exciting and exhilarating thanks to the element of risk involved. They can be an incredibly effective way to keep your personal needs met while you figure out what you want to do about the relationship you’re already in as well. Plus, let’s face it. Sometimes affairs simply happen no matter what we may think an “ideal” love life looks like on paper.
That said, you’ve just entered a judgment-free zone where you can find out everything you ever wanted to know about having an affair. Where are the best places to conduct your affair? Where are the worst? What else do you need to know about managing the situation so that private goings-on actually stay private? We’re about to cover the answers to all of those questions and more.
Where to Have an Affair
Maybe you’re already in the midst of a full-blown affair. Maybe you’re thinking about taking the next step with someone you really like but haven’t actually jumped right in yet. Maybe you’re simply curious about what else is out there in general. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to understand that some places make better locations for exploring the possibilities than others. The following are some of the better ones.
- Hotel Rooms
Hotel rooms are considered classic places for affairs to play out for a reason. They’re super convenient. Plus, there are plenty to choose from no matter where you may be located. If you choose carefully enough, they can also be a really inexpensive way to snag yourself as much privacy as you could possibly want. Perfect for anything from a quick shag on your lunch hour to a full-blown weekend away with the object of your desire! Just make sure you don’t check in anywhere either of you could be recognized.
Having an affair isn’t always just about sex. Sometimes it’s just as much about getting out and having a little fun with someone whose company you really enjoy and restaurants are perfect for that. They’re great places to get to know someone you’ve got your eye on so that you can decide whether or not you want to proceed as well. You can get to know each other better and see what you’ve got in common. Plus, there’s no pressure for anything specific to happen.
Things are less likely to look suspicious should you run into someone you know as well. You could easily just be having lunch with a work colleague, a friend, a relative from out of town, or an acquaintance. Just make sure you nix the PDA if you’re staying in town or know anyone that lives nearby.
- Bars, Clubs, and Lounges
Nightlife environments like bars and clubs can be great ways to inject a little energy into an affair. They’re exciting, vibrant places where you can really lose yourself for a few hours, so they’re a shoo-in for affairs that are all about getting together for a good time. Plus, there are so many different types of bars to choose from. Dance the night away at a busy hot spot in the heart of the city or cozy up over a couple of cocktails at a low-key jazz club. If all goes well, you can always check into a room at a nearby hotel room and take things further.
- Out of Town
When it comes to having an affair and not getting caught, discretion is absolutely key. That said, the closer you stick to your home turf, the higher the likelihood of eventually being seen by the wrong person. You’ll want to get out of town whenever you can, especially if you want to be able to hold hands, kiss, or otherwise show affection for one another in public.
For best results, decide on a discreet location where neither of you knows anyone. If possible, meet each other there so you don’t run the risk of being seen traveling together. That way you can just spend your time together doing whatever it is you enjoy. No risk, no hassle, and no worry!
- Business Destinations
Does your line of work frequently require you to travel for business purposes? Take advantage of it. Your spouse already expects you to be away, so there’s no need to come up with an elaborate excuse as to where you’re going or why. Arrange to have the object of your affection meet you wherever you’re going so you can enjoy their company after hours.
Alternatively, you can do a little mingling in town after your last meeting of the day. If you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone awesome to spend some time with. Business trips are also the best opportunities to take advantage of if your affair partner is a business contact or a co-worker.
Where Not to Have an Affair
While there are lots of good, smart places to meet with someone you’re having an affair with, there are also places you’ll want to stay completely away from. Make sure your affair stays between you and your partner by avoiding the following spots.
- Your Home
Your spouse taking the kids to visit their grandparents for the weekend may sound like a great opportunity to enjoy someone else’s company in the privacy of your own home, but it’s important to resist the temptation. To begin with, there’s always the possibility of getting caught thanks to cancelled plans or an early return home.
That’s not all you have to worry about though. Your lover could accidentally (or purposefully) leave behind evidence of their presence that your spouse will find or wonder about. Plus, you never know when a nosey neighbor may decide to take notice of what’s going on and get involved.
- Their Home
Just as risky is the other person’s home. If your partner isn’t single, it’s dangerous for all the same reasons you wouldn’t want to get together at your home. Even if they are single, you don’t want their neighbors, roommates, friends, or relatives to become too familiar with you. You never know who might get an attack of conscience, decide to find out who you are, and tell the wrong person what’s been going on.
- Your Office
Yes, there’s a lot to be said for a nice, naughty romp behind a closed office door when you could really use a pick-me-up. However, your place of business is risky enough that you might want to keep it off limits if you’re serious about not getting caught.
Some of your coworkers are probably at least familiar with your spouse or partner, so there’s always the chance one of them could decide to tell the person. Also, fooling around at work is just plain bad for your professional reputation should you get caught, whether or not you’re banging the person you’re supposed to be when you are.
A Few More Tips
As you can see, having a successful affair that’s everything you want it to be is mostly about keeping it separate from the rest of your life. The following are a few more pointers you’ll want to consider.
- Be smart about how you finance your affairs.
Don’t use your credit card to hold a hotel room or pay for an extravagant dinner out. Your spouse could see the statement or pick up the phone if a hotel manager ever calls with a question. Instead, stockpile cash in small amounts over time to pay for such things. No paper trail that way!
- Be consistent about erasing evidence.
Don’t ever save anything to do with your affairs. You’d be surprised how resourceful a suspicious spouse can become once they’re determined to learn the truth! Delete texts, email, and photos from your lover immediately after you’re done viewing them. Get in the habit of erasing your browser history every time you use the computer, even if you don’t share one with your spouse. The best way to make sure no one ever discovers the evidence of your affair is to make absolutely sure there isn’t any.
- Choose your partners carefully.
Make sure you’re only dating or sleeping with people that want the same things out of the relationship you do. Avoid dating singles that are ultimately looking for a commitment. Stick to other married people that aren’t looking for anything serious – people you can be up front with as to why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Alternatively, if you’re just looking for sex, try meeting people to spend time with via a specialized app or dating service. Think super discreet platforms like Mixxxer that are designed specifically for people that are mostly interested in casual hook-ups!
- Always, always shower.
You may not be able to detect the scent of your lover on you after an encounter, but it could be very obvious to your spouse. Always shower after meeting someone else, even if you weren’t intimate.
At the end of the day, having an affair without getting caught isn’t rocket science. However, it does require a little forethought, common sense, and planning. Make sure you’re covering all those bases and everything’s sure to go smoothly!