What You Need to Know Before Dating a Bi Guy

Gay guys and bi guys definitely have a lot in common when it comes to dating. Both gays and bis know what it’s like to navigate the complicated world of dating or hooking up in world that caters primarily to straight folks. Plus everyone is ultimately looking for fulfilling connections that meet their needs.

There are a lot of differences you’ll want to be aware of as well though, especially if you’re completely new to dating bisexual men. The following are some of the most important examples. Which ones sound the most familiar?

His sleeping with women doesn’t mean he’s manlier.

It’s not uncommon for gay men to fetishize bisexual men because they think an attraction to women is going to guarantee a more stereotypically masculine personality. First of all, it’s not necessarily true. There are a lot of bi hotties out there that don’t present as particularly masculine at all, and that’s okay. Second, thinking this way is actually pretty prejudiced, not to mention unfair to everyone involved.

Other gay guys may throw you shade for dating a bi guy.

Sadly, there’s still quite a bit of misunderstanding and judgment directed at bi guys within the gay community. A lot of gay guys wrongly think “bi” is just code for “hasn’t accepted his gayness yet”. Others simply don’t think bi men aren’t “real” members of the gay or queer community because they do like women. That said, you’re bound to catch some crap for dating someone who’s bi, but you shouldn’t let it bother you. Just dismiss it as the uninformed silliness that it is.

Some bi guys do struggle with openness.

While it would be great if everyone felt comfortable being 100 percent open about their sexuality, that’s just not reality for a lot of people. Bisexual men in particular are used to dealing with a lot of judgment, prejudice, and misunderstanding from men and women alike. Most know what’s it’s like to be rejected, dumped, or outright ghosted because of their sexual orientation as well. That can make someone wary about being as open and honest as others might like, so be prepared to be patient.

Many bisexual men in relationships do miss being with other people.

Being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t sometimes miss the experience of being with others, nor is this a phenomenon unique to bi men. Male or female, straight or gay, everyone sometimes feels that way. It doesn’t necessarily indicate a desire to be in an open relationship or to cheat, nor are bi people more likely than straight or gay people to want those things. If a bisexual guy makes a decision to commit to you, a gay man, trust that he takes it seriously until he actually gives you a reason not to.

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The porn bisexuals watch is nothing to worry about.

Bisexual guys like watching porn every bit as much as everyone else does. And yes, it’s highly likely that the bi hunk in your life watches a wide variety of porn that includes both men and women. Don’t misunderstand this as a sign that he’s longing for something you’ll never be able to give him though. Bi guys love porn for all the same reasons you do. It’s sexy, it’s stimulating, and it’s a  safe way to explore lots of different fantasies. Chances are there are some things you like seeing in porn that you wouldn’t necessarily want to do in real life, right? Bisexual men are the same. What about watching gay porn – good idea or more harmful than helpful? Read the article to find out some interesting insights. 

Many bisexuals couldn’t care less about gender norms.

While it’s true that many bisexual men struggle with the decision to be out and proud in regards to their bi status, this isn’t the case for all of them. If the bisexual guy in your life is comfortable with his identity, you can trust that he doesn’t give much of a hoot about traditional gender norms. Not only is he not going to feel as much pressure to conform to what a man is or isn’t “supposed to” be according to society, but he’s less likely to project those norms onto others.

Many bi guys are exceptional lovers.

One of the most persistent bisexual stereotypes out there is that many bi men make next-level lovers. The good news is that there’s actually some truth to this, meaning it’s backed up by research. The better news is that the reason for that truth isn’t that bi guys are super promiscuous as compared to the rest of us. Since bisexual men are more likely to have experience with both men and women, they learn to accurately assess the unique needs of their lover as an individual.

Dating a bisexual guy isn’t going to be the exact same experience as dating a gay guy to be sure. However, it can still be highly rewarding all the same, so definitely don’t count it out because you’re worried about the challenges. The next bi guy you date may just rock your world!

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Rob West

Rob West

I worked with Matt to build several hookup apps for gay men, including Guyhop.

I've been in the scene for several years now. Eternally single until I find "him".

My background is in marketing and psychology, which gives me a unique perspective on the LGBTQ dating and hookup scene.