Whether you’re merely looking for some kinky fun or are ultimately open to something much more serious, a great profile will only get your foot in the door with attractive women you meet online. To keep a potential hookups’ interest once you’ve got it, you need to know how to chat her up like an absolute pro. After all, she needs a good reason to give you her limited time and attention instead of one of the hundred other guys that would also like to have it.
Even so, knowing you’d like to master the fine art of sexy, scintillating chat that sets you apart in all the right ways (and possibly even gets you laid) is one thing. Actually doing that successfully is another. Keep the following chat tips in mind the next time you’re after an online hottie’s attention for your best possible chance at sweet success.
1. Put some thought into the platform you choose.
It goes pretty much without saying that the web has come a long way since the late 90’s. You’re no longer limited to just a few options as far as where you can go online if you’re hoping to engage in a little cybersex or find someone sexy to hook up with offline. You’ve got a seemingly limitless array of options to choose from, so consider what you’re looking to get out of the experience before committing to a platform.
Most people that love cybersex, casual sex, or both know exactly what they’re looking for (free, easy fun without strings attached), as well as what they’re not (long-term commitment). You’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy if you stick solely to platforms where the women you’ll meet are interested in the same types of interaction you are.
Mixxxer is an excellent option for those that love engaging in sexy talk, exchanging explicit photos with other members, and hooking up offline for a little casual sex now and then. Not only is Mixxxer made specifically for those interested in flirty, casual interactions, but its built-in mobile sex finder takes the guesswork out of figuring out who else in your immediate vicinity is active, horny, and currently interested in connecting at any given moment. Simple, right?
2. Be original in how you approach her.
Women that spend much time on casual dating or cybersex platforms experience the same weak, unoriginal attempts to connect over, and over, and over again. Some guys send super-generic one-word intro messages like “hey” or “hi” that make it clear they’re not even trying. Others go to the other extreme and send lengthy, wordy messages she won’t even attempt to read through. Then they continue to send additional messages even if they haven’t gotten a response to their previous ones.
Set yourself apart by actually being original as far as how you open up a conversation. Refer to any unique details you may have noticed on her profile. Pinpoint one of the ways she stands out from the rest of the crowd on the platform and compliment her on it. If you don’t get a response, don’t sweat it or be bitter about it. If you do get a response, start connecting with her by asking her genuine, engaging questions.
3. Know the right way to ask her what she’s into.
When you’re trying to get the ball rolling with some seriously sexy chat, it makes sense that you’d ask her what turns her on and gets her engine revving sooner rather than later. However, it’s important to understand that there are two different ways to go about this and one of them is infinitely more likely to get you the results you’re after than the other.
Although it might make sense to ask her what she’s looking for in a lover, you won’t get as far as you’d hope. When women are asked about the kind of men they like, they tend to think and speak in ideals. Even the hottest, sexiest, most physically fit man in the world won’t be able to measure up to a woman’s mental picture of the ideal man, so you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage right from the get-go.
Instead, ask her what she likes erotically speaking. What turns on her on? What gets her off? What has she always wanted to try with a willing lover? Even the most modest person enjoys talking about themselves and beautiful, sexy women are no exception. What’s more, you’re getting an advance peek at what makes her tick in the bedroom – useful information to have if your chat does eventually lead to a hook-up.
4. Ask open-ended questions.
Whether you’re headed straight for a cybersex session or just want to get to know a cute potential Tinder hook-up a little bit better, you want to keep the conversation flowing. One of the easiest ways to make sure this happens is to avoid closed-ended questions that call for simple yes or no answers. They have a way of bringing conversation to a dead halt, especially when you’re talking to someone you don’t know well (if at all).
Instead, spark conversation by asking her open-ended questions that cover concepts like what, when, where, why, and how. The idea is to get her talking about her personal feelings, thoughts, and opinions on the topic at hand. If you’re good at thinking up such questions to ask on the spot, more power to you, but it’s perfectly okay to think up a few in advance.
5. Be the best possible version of yourself.
When you’re merely looking for a quick hookup or a couple of hours of sexy cyberchat, there’s no need to be bare-bones honest about every single detail of your life. Casual sex – cyber or otherwise – is fun because it lets you transcend your usual boundaries. You’re free to be any version of yourself you like for an evening or a few hours, no strings attached.
Even so, things will go much more smoothly if you’re being at least somewhat genuine. Most women are experts at spotting a fake and will lose immediate interest in any guy she suspects might be one. Yes, be sexy and sweep her off her cyber-feet. Just make sure you’re also coming from an honest place and show genuine interest in what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling, and in whether or not she’s having a good time.
6. Have a “sexy talk” strategy.
If you’re looking to seal the deal as far as a potential hook-up goes, you’ll definitely want to stoke her fires with a little sex talk beforehand. Cybersex is the perfect way to stimulate her imagination and give her a little preview of what you’re really all about in the bedroom. Just be aware that your cyber strategy reveals a lot about the type of lover you might be and your lady of choice will be paying close attention to how you proceed.
- Don’t focus all the talk on yourself and your cock instead of on her gorgeous body. She might get the impression that you’re the selfish type between the sheets, which isn’t a good look on any man.
- Avoid coming on too strong right away. When you’re describing what you’re going to do to her, take your time in getting to her honey pot. Definitely don’t go straight there. Some women see this as a sure sign that a guy has trouble going the distance, if you know what we mean.
- Definitely take the lead instead of passively waiting for her to tell you what to do. Most women don’t like men that are really submissive between the sheets and waiting for her to do everything definitely gives the impression that you are.
Men that are considered good at cybersex not only take the lead, but place their main focus on the woman and what she likes. This is the best way to show her that you’re capable of giving her the type of her experience she’s looking for if she does decide to hook up with you at some point.
7. Keep the concept of consent in mind.
Women don’t just want to feel respected, prioritized, and considered in their day-to-day lives. They want to feel that way online too, so the guy that takes the time to make sure that happens definitely has an edge. Even though you’re still only interacting with her via the written/texted word right now, asking her for permission to touch her and interact with her can be a powerful way to set yourself apart in the right ways.
Asking permission and getting her consent to proceed helps ensure that you’re reading her properly – that she’s as into you as you are into her. Otherwise you risk jumping the gun too early and inspiring her to try her luck with another guy instead. Keep in mind that asking for consent first works in your favor when sending photos to someone new, taking things into webcam territory, and so forth as well. Try it and see for yourself!