The Top 90 Reasons Men Are Single: Part 2
Every Possible Reason Why You're Single and How to Fix It
Continuing on from Part 1 of this series, we talk about the next 40 reasons why men are single.
We’ve gathered and given our take on every reason listed in this recent study published in the National Library of Medicine.
They took a sample of 648 single men and women and asked them to choose a reason why they were single. Based on their responses they were asked to answer a second set of questions.
Their responses were then compiled and ranked in a long list of reasons why men (and women) stay single.
So without further ado, here are the rest of the reasons. Any of these sound familiar to you?
Quick Reference
I do not have enough time to devote to a relationship
Between work, friends, and family, it can feel like there’s just not enough time in the day to add another person to the mix.
And for a lot of men, that’s a perfectly valid reason to stay single.
If you’re happy with your life the way it is and don’t feel like you need or want a relationship, then that’s perfectly fine.
But if you’re someone who does want a relationship, there are ways to make it work, even if you don’t have a lot of time.
I worry that a relationship is going to be damaging for my career
A lot of men stay single because they’re worried that a relationship is going to damage their careers.
And while it’s true that a bad relationship can have a negative impact on your career, that doesn’t mean all relationships are doomed to fail.
If you’re in a good, healthy relationship, it can actually be quite beneficial for your career.
A study by the Harvard Business Review found that men in relationships are more likely to get promoted and make more money.
So if you’re worried that a relationship is going to damage your career, don’t be.
I do not feel ready to start a relationship
A lot of men stay single because they don’t feel ready to start a relationship.
And that’s perfectly understandable.
Relationships are a big commitment and they’re not for everyone.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready for a relationship, it’s OK to stay single until you figure it out.
I have different priorities
For a lot of men, their priorities are simply different from what society tells us they should be.
And that’s OK. Everyone is different and has different things they want out of life.
If your priorities don’t involve finding a partner and getting married, that’s perfectly fine.
You can still have a fulfilling and happy life without being in a relationship.
I want to have more time to spend with my friends
A lot of men stay single because they want to have more time to spend with their friends.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Having close friends is an important part of life and can be just as fulfilling as being in a relationship.
So if you’re happy spending your time with your friends, just know that having a partner shouldn’t take anything from that.
I do not want to be alienated from my friends
If you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to become isolated from your friends. You might start going out less, or only with your partner and their friends.
It’s just simple math, if you’re dating someone, you have to split your time between your partner and your friends, and that does mean less time with your homies.
However, this is where setting priorities is important.
Sure, you’ll be spending less time with your friends, but you’ll be spending some of that time building a relationship with someone that might be become your best friend for life. Which depending on who you ask, is far more fulfilling than going out the bars ever night or playing video games with the boys.
I am doing well right now
Men stay single because they’re content being single. They’re not down in the dumps because they’re single, they’re actually perfectly happy not being in a relationship.
And that’s perfectly fine.
Some people are just wired to be single and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you’re content and happy being single, that’s probably one of the healthiest things you can do.
I want to be able to have many casual relationships
This is perfectly understandable, and definitely a valid reason to stay single.
Casual relationships are great because you get to experience different people without the commitment of a serious relationship.
You can learn about different types of people and what you do and don’t want in a partner.
Not to mention, casual relationships are also generally a lot less drama than serious ones.
I want to have a freer sexual life
Says every guy in the world!!
Many guys stay single because they want to have a freer sexual life.
This doesn’t mean you’re a player or a player hater, it just means that you’re comfortable with your sexuality and you want to enjoy it without the commitment of a relationship.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Sex is great, and you should absolutely enjoy it without feeling guilty or like you’re doing something wrong.
I want to be free to flirt with whoever I want
This is probably the most fun reason to stay single.
When you’re in a relationship, you generally have to tone down the flirting because, well, you’re taken.
But when you’re single, you can flirt with whomever you want, whenever you want! It’s great.
You can enjoy the thrill of the chase and the excitement of flirtation without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
I want to be able to go out more often
Being single means that you have the freedom to go out whenever you want, without having to check in with anyone or coordinate schedules.
You can go out on a whim, you can stay out as late as you want, and you don’t have to worry about anyone getting mad at you because you’re not home yet.
This is probably one of the most common reasons why men stay single they simply enjoy the freedom that comes with being single.
I get bored easily
Another common reason why men stay single is because they don’t want to get bored in a relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get into a routine and do the same things over and over again. This can lead to getting bored of your partner, which is something that nobody wants.
However, this doesn’t mean that you have to be single to avoid getting bored. It just means that you need to find someone who you can have new experiences with and who will help you keep things interesting.
Constraints from previous relationships
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship before, then you might be hesitant to get into another one because of all the constraints that come with it.
For example, you might not want to have to deal with the emotional baggage from a previous relationship, or you might not want to deal with the hassle of planning everything around someone else’s schedule.
However, this doesn’t mean that all relationships are like this. In fact, if you find the right person, they might actually make your life easier by taking some of the burden off of your shoulders.
I have children from a previous relationship
Having children from a previous relationship can be a big reason why men stay single.
And it makes sense, if you have children, you’re going to want to make sure that any new partner is someone who you can see being a good step-parent to your children.
That’s a big responsibility and it’s not something that should be taken lightly.
So, if you’re a single father, it’s perfectly understandable why you might be extra cautious about getting into a new relationship.
I want to devote my attention to my children
This is more common than you might think. There are plenty of men out there who are single because they’re devoted to their children.
Whether they’re raising them on their own or they just want to be more present in their lives, they put their children first and that means not dating.
And that’s perfectly understandable. After all, our children are our future and they deserve our attention and love.
I recently broke up
Another common reason why men stay single is because they’ve just come out of a long-term relationship and they’re not ready to jump back into another one just yet.
And that’s perfectly understandable. breakups are tough, no matter who you are or how long the relationship was. They take time to get over.
So, if you’ve just gone through a breakup, give yourself some time to heal before you start dating again.
I have not gotten over my previous relationship
This is similar to the reason above, but it applies to men who might have been in a series of long-term relationships.
Maybe they’ve never been single for more than a few months at a time and they need some time to figure out who they are without being in a relationship.
Or maybe they’re just scared of getting hurt again. Either way, it’s perfectly normal to need some time to yourself after a long-term relationship ends.
I am grieving
This is one of the more difficult reasons on this list, but it’s important to remember that grieving is a process and it takes time.
If you’ve lost a partner, it’s perfectly normal to need some time to grieve before you start dating again.
And that’s OK. Take all the time you need. There is no rush.
I am afraid that I will get hurt again
Finally, one of the most common reasons men stay single is because they’re afraid of getting hurt again.
And that’s perfectly understandable. breakups are tough, no matter who you are or how long the relationship was. They take time to get over.
So, if you’re afraid of getting your heart broken again, it’s perfectly OK to take your time dating or not date at all.
I am afraid that my partner will cheat on me
This is a big one, and it’s definitely valid. No one wants to be cheated on, it hurts like hell.
What’s more, is that once you’ve been cheated on, it’s hard to trust anyone again. That betrayal can color every future relationship and make it hard to open up and trust someone again.
So why take the risk? Well the answer to that takes a heck of a lot more than a few sentences to explain but in short, because possibly finding that right special someone is worth the risk.
Many guys would attest that putting up with a short period of discomfort to receive the lifelong joys of finding someone to share your life with is worth it.
I am afraid that my partner will stop loving me
This is another biggie and it’s also valid. No one wants to be in a relationship where they’re not loved or valued.
However, what’s important to remember is that love is a verb. It’s not just something you feel, it’s something you do.
It’s something you work at every day. If you stop trying, it will definitely fizzle out, but if you keep at it, there’s a good chance it will only grow stronger.
I am afraid that the relationship will fail
Every relationship comes with the risk of failure, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
What’s important is that you go into it with your eyes open and realistic expectations.
No relationship is perfect and they all take work, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, it could be the best thing you ever do.
I am afraid that what I will give to the relationship will be wasted
In every relationship, both partners have to give something up. It might be time, energy, or even sacrificing your own needs for the sake of your partner.
It can definitely be scary to put yourself out there like that, but often times it’s worth it. After all, we all want to be loved and to feel like we matter to someone.
So don’t be afraid to give of yourself in a relationship, it could pay dividends for the rest of your life.
I am afraid that I will be disappointed
It’s only natural to want to avoid disappointment, but the truth is that in life, it’s unavoidable.
The key is not to let it discourage you. If you go into a relationship with realistic expectations and an open mind, the chances of being disappointed are much lower.
And even if you do end up disappointed, know that it’s not the end of the world. You’ll learn from it and be better off for it in the long run.
I do not trust men/women
If you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s only natural to be guarded and leery of getting hurt again. It can be difficult to trust again, but it’s not impossible.
The key is to take things slow, get to know someone and let them earn your trust. If you’re never going to let anyone in, you’re going to stay single for a long time.
I do not trust easily
This is similar to the previous point, but it’s worth mentioning separately. Just because you don’t trust easily, doesn’t mean you can’t find someone to love and trust.
It might just take a little longer to find that special someone. Again, the key is taking your time and getting to know someone before letting them into your life.
Bad experiences from previous relationships
Unfortunately, bad experiences can happen to anyone and they can definitely put a damper on your dating life.
However, it’s important to remember that not every relationship is going to be bad. Just because you had a few bad apples, doesn’t mean that there aren’t any good ones out there.
Keep your head up and don’t give up hope, the right person is out there for you.
I would not have to worry about where my partner is and what he/she is doing
This is a common reason why men stay single. They don’t want to have to worry about where their partner is or what they’re doing.
And that’s perfectly understandable. The idea of being in a relationship shouldn’t be stressful, it should be fun and relaxing.
If you find yourself constantly worrying about your partner, it might be a sign that the relationship isn’t right for you.
I want to avoid jealousy
Jealousy is a normal emotion, but it can definitely wreak havoc on a relationship. If you’re constantly worried about your partner cheating on you or leaving you, it’s going to be tough to have a healthy and happy relationship.
Again, this is where communication comes in. If you’re feeling jealous, talk to your partner about it. Chances are they feel the same way and once you start talking about it, the jealousy will start to fade away.
And if you don’t have a partner to talk to, because fear of jealousy is preventing it, you might want to talk to a therapist. Someone who can dig into the root cause of those feelings and help alleviate your worries.
I am attracted to the wrong men/women
We’ve all been there. Attracted to someone who we know is bad for us, whether it be because they’re already in a relationship, they’re emotionally unavailable, or they’re just plain wrong for us.
But the fact of the matter is, if you’re attracted to the wrong men or women, you’re probably not ready to be in a relationship anyway.
So instead of beating yourself up about it, use it as a learning experience and try to figure out what it is that you really want in a partner. That way, when you finally meet them, you’ll know it.
I had many failures and I have given up trying
Yes, failure sucks. But it’s a part of life. And if you’ve failed at relationships in the past, that doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to fail at them forever.
Use your past failures as learning experiences and try not to repeat the same mistakes. If you’ve given up trying, that’s your decision and you’re entitled to it. But know that it’s not the only option.
I cannot find someone interesting
This is probably one of the most common reasons why men stay single. It’s not that they can’t find someone, it’s that they can’t find someone interesting.
With dating apps and online dating, it’s easy to become jaded and start swiping through people without giving them a chance because there’s always someone else waiting in line.
But try to give people a chance and really get to know them before you write them off. You might be surprised at how interesting they are.
I cannot find the right one
This is similar to the previous point, but worth mentioning separately. Just because you haven’t found the right one yet, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Keep looking and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. The right person is out there, you just have to find them.
I am very picky
A lot of men stay single simply because they’re very picky. They’re not willing to settle for just anyone.
And you know what? That’s completely okay.
It’s better to be single and picky than to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not really compatible with.
If you’re holding out for the right person, that’s admirable. Just don’t let your pickiness turn into a form of selfishness where you’re only concerned with finding someone who meets all of your ideal criteria and you’re not willing to give anything up yourself.
Because of my addictions (alcohol, drugs, etc.)
This is a more difficult issue to address because it’s not as simple as just quitting your addiction.
If you’re trying to stay sober and you’re using that as an excuse to stay single, then that’s probably a good thing.
But if you’re addiction is preventing your from finding and building a meaningful relationship with someone, then that’s obviously a bad thing.
It’s important to be honest with yourself about your addiction and whether or not it’s something you’re willing to try to overcome for the sake of a relationship. If you are, then seek out help and support from friends, family, or a therapist.
Because of my sexual orientation
There are plenty of men who stay single because they’re not sure about their sexual orientation or they’re not ready to come out of the closet yet.
And that’s perfectly understandable. After all, coming out can be a daunting experience.
But it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are millions of people who are LGBTQIA+ and living happy and fulfilling lives.
If you’re still exploring your sexuality, that’s okay. Just know that there’s nothing wrong with you and you can still have a great life even if you don’t fit into the traditional mold of what it means to be a man.
I need some time to decide about my sexual orientation
This ties in with the previous point. There are some men who stay single because they’re not sure about their sexual orientation.
And that’s perfectly normal. It can take some people a while to figure out who they are and what they want.
If you’re still exploring your sexuality, that’s okay. Just know that whatever you decide is OK if it makes you happy!
My relationship may not be socially acceptable
There are some men who stay single because they’re in relationships that wouldn’t be considered socially acceptable.
For example, they might be dating someone who is much older or younger than them, or they might be in an open relationship.
But always remember what your friends at Mixxxer.com would say, “Fuck em!”
Whatever the reason, if you’re happy with your relationship, don’t let what other people think stop you from being with the person you love.
I cannot have children
If you’re unable to have children, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a fulfilling and happy relationship.
There are plenty of men and women out there that aren’t looking for kids. The important thing about this is being up front and honest with your partner right off the bat.
And if you do decide you want children later down the road, there are plenty of children in the world who need homes that are looking to be adopted.
So don’t let the fact that you can’t have children stop you from finding love.
I move often so it is not easy to keep a relationship
This is definitely a valid reason to stay single. If you move around a lot, it’s not easy to maintain a long-distance relationship.
And even if you’re not moving around, it can be difficult to keep a relationship going if you’re always traveling for work or pleasure.
But if you meet someone who you really connect with and who is also willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work despite the distance, then it can definitely be worth it.
This reason is becoming less and less valid due to the rapid advances in technology today. Between email, zoom, facetime, text messages and good old fashioned phone calls, it’s become incredibly easy to stay connected to others from a distance. Heck, they even have Wi-Fi connected sex toys that you can from across the world!
In case you missed, be sure to check out The Top 90 Reasons Men Are Single: Part 1 of this series in which we cover the first 50 most popular reasons men are single.
