To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Oscar Wilde might have been half right on this. While loving oneself (to a certain extent) can certainly be healthy. Most men would say that the only time they’ve felt truly fulfilled is when they are in a meaningful relationship. Which is why we decided to write this 2 part series on reasons for being and/or staying single.
If you’re wondering why you’ve been single for so long, perhaps it will give you comfort knowing that you are not alone.
If fact, according to this recent study published in the National Library of Medicine, it’s extremely common and becoming even more prevalent.
They took a sample of 648 single men and women and asked them to choose a reason why they were single. Based on their responses they were asked to answer a second set of questions.
Their responses were then compiled and ranked in a long list of reasons why men (and women) stay single.
We’ve gone through the list and expanded on each reason to help you better understand why you might be still single.
We will cover the top 50 reason men stay single in Part 1 of this series. Part 2 of The Top 90 Reasons Men Are Single will discuss the final 40 reasons.
We’ve ranked the reasons the most common to least common according the study mentioned above.
I am shy
One of the most common reasons why men stay single is because they’re shy. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
In fact, being shy can be quite endearing. But the problem is that shyness can sometimes come across as disinterest, which is obviously not ideal when you’re trying to find a partner.
I am very introverted
Another common reason why men stay single is because they’re introverted. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that.
But the problem is that introverts often have a hard time meeting new people, which makes it difficult to find a potential partner.
I am terrible at picking up on signals
A lot of men stay single because they’re just terrible at picking up on signals.
This is particularly true when it comes to flirting. If you don’t pick up on the fact that someone is flirting with you, then you’re never going to make a move.
I am not good at flirting
Another reason why men stay single is because they’re just not good at flirting.
And this is a shame because flirting is actually quite easy once you get the hang of it. It’s just a matter of being confident and showing interest in the other person.
I am socially awkward
A common reason why men stay single is because they’re socially awkward.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the problem is that social awkwardness can make it difficult to connect with someone on a romantic level.
I get high anxiety around women/men
This is very common. A lot of men simply get anxious around women.
This can manifest in a number of ways, from feeling tongue-tied and awkward in conversation, to getting sweaty and anxious in social situations.
For some men, this anxiety is so crippling that it prevents them from even trying to approach and talk to women.
And if you’re someone who suffers from this kind of anxiety, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and there are ways to overcome it.
I do not know how to start a relationship
Another common reason men stay single is because they don’t know how to start a relationship.
A lot of men grow up without ever seeing a healthy and functional romantic relationship, so they don’t really know how they’re supposed to go about starting one.
And even if they do have some idea, they might be afraid of screwing it up or not know what to do next once they’re in a relationship.
I do not feel confident
A lot of men also stay single because they don’t feel confident in themselves.
They might feel like they’re not good enough for the women they’re interested in or they might not feel like they have anything to offer in a relationship.
And if you’re someone who feels this way, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and that there are things you can do to build your confidence.
I fear rejection
Another common reason men stay single is because they’re afraid of rejection.
They might be afraid of approaching women and getting rejected, or they might be afraid of getting into a relationship and then getting dumped.
And if you’re someone who’s afraid of rejection, it’s important to know that everyone experiences it and that it’s not the end of the world if it happens to you.
I am a boring individual
Lastly, a lot of men stay single because they think they’re boring and that no one would want to be in a relationship with them.
But the truth is, everyone has their own unique quirks and qualities that make them interesting and attractive to someone.
So if you think you’re boring, it’s important to remember that there’s someone out there who will find you interesting and attractive.
I am not good in relationships
If you’re not good at being in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you’re not good at being in a relationship. It just means that you’re not good at being in a relationship right now.
And that’s okay.
You can be a great partner someday. But for now, you’re just not ready.
And that’s perfectly fine.
I have no avenues for meeting available men/women
If you feel like you don’t have any avenues for meeting available partners, it’s not because there are no available partners, it’s because you’re not looking in the right places.
There are plenty of places to meet potential partners. You just have to get out there and start looking.
I am not good looking
If you don’t think you’re good looking, that’s probably because you’re not.
But that doesn’t mean you’re not attractive.
Attractiveness is about more than just looks. It’s about confidence, personality, and how you carry yourself.
Because of my weight
If you’re worried that your weight is keeping you from finding a partner, you’re probably right.
But that doesn’t mean you have to lose weight to find love.
There are plenty of people out there who are attracted to people of all shapes and sizes.
I have not achieved much in life and I do not think I am attractive as a mate
If you haven’t achieved much in life, that may be part of the reason you’re single.
But it doesn’t have to be.
You can still find someone who loves you for who you are, even if you haven’t accomplished much.
I believe that nobody wants to be with me
If you believe that nobody wants to be with you, that’s probably because you’re projecting your own insecurities onto other people.
Everybody has insecurities. But that doesn’t mean that nobody wants to be with you.
My financial situation prevents me from having a relationship
If your financial situation is preventing you from having a relationship, that’s probably because you’re not in a position to be in a relationship.
And that’s perfectly fine.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy.
I fear that my negative aspects will be revealed
If you’re afraid that your negative aspects will be revealed, that’s probably because you’re not ready to reveal them.
And that’s perfectly normal.
We all have aspects of ourselves that we’re not ready to share with other people.
I am not doing very well in the sexual domain
If you’re not doing well in the sexual domain, that’s probably because you’re not comfortable with your sexuality.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Sexuality is a very personal thing. It takes time to feel comfortable with it.
Sometimes I face sexual difficulties
If you sometimes face sexual difficulties, that’s probably because you’re not comfortable with your sexuality.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Sexuality is a very personal thing. It takes time to feel comfortable with it.
Commitment scares me
If you’re scared of commitment, that’s probably because you’re not ready for it.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Commitment is a big decision. It’s not something to be taken lightly.
Love scares me
For some men, the idea of being in a relationship is simply too scary.
The thought of being vulnerable and sharing your feelings with another person is enough to make some men run for the hills. This can also bring on fears of rejection and commitment.
But the truth is, the happiest men are those in a loving relationship. Sure its fine to sleep around or date multiple women at some point in your life, but if you want to feel truly fulfilled, life is best shared with someone you love.
Change scares me
For some men, change is scary. The idea of switching up your routine and having to accommodate another person’s needs can be daunting.
But change can also be exciting. It can bring new adventure and experiences into your life.
It can also help you to grow and learn new things about yourself.
So if you’re single and scared of change, try to embrace it. It might just be the best thing that ever happens to you.
I do not like commitment
Some men stay single because they don’t like commitment.
They want to be able to do whatever they want, whenever they want without having to answer to anyone.
However, commitment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Commitment can mean different things to different people.
It doesn’t have to mean getting married or having kids.
It can simply mean being in a committed relationship with someone you love and who loves you back.
The truth is, commitment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can actually be quite freeing. Once you commit to someone, you no longer have to worry about dating or finding someone new. You can just relax and enjoy your relationship.
I have not accumulated enough experiences to commit to a relationship
This is another common reason why men stay single.
They feel like they need to experience more of life before they can settle down.
However, this isn’t necessarily true. You can have plenty of experiences while being in a committed relationship.
In fact, some of the best experiences are had when you’re sharing them with someone you love.
I have a disability
For some men, having a disability can make it difficult to find a partner. They might feel like they’re not worthy or they might be afraid of rejection.
But the truth is, your disability does not define you. What you choose to do with your life does. And there are plenty of genuine people in the world that look past disabilities and see the real person. And the only way you’ll find those people is to start searching!
I have a serious health issue
This may be one of the most common reasons why men stay single.
Dating can be an extremely tiring and stressful process, and if you’re not feeling your best, it can be even more challenging.
If you have a serious health issue, it’s important to take care of yourself first and foremost.
I have psychological problems
Another common reason why men stay single is because of psychological problems.
Dating can be an emotionally taxing experience, and if you’re not in a good place mentally, it can be tough to handle.
If you have psychological problems, it’s important to seek help from a professional before you try to date.
I am going through a period of intense stress and anxiety
If you’re currently experiencing a lot of stress or anxiety, it can be tough to focus on anything else, let alone dating or relationships.
It’s totally understandable to want to take some time for yourself during periods of intense stress. Just know that having a companion can actually help alleviate that stress by being your rock or person you can vent to or ask for help.
I want to be able to go wherever I want without needing to answer to anyone
Of course, you can do this when you’re single. But when you’re in a relationship, you have to consider your partner’s feelings and needs too.
It can be nice to have someone to travel with or go on adventures with. And while you don’t have to answer to anyone, you also don’t have someone to rely on. So, it’s a trade-off.
I do not want to lose my freedom
When you’re in a relationship, you naturally have to compromise some of your freedom. You can’t just do whatever you want all the time.
However, you also gain freedom in a relationship. You have someone to help you with things, to lean on, and to support you.
I do not tolerate restrictions
This is a valid point. No one wants to feel like they’re being caged in or restricted.
But a relationship is about give and take. If you’re only focused on yourself and your own needs, it’s going to be difficult to maintain a healthy, long-term relationship.
I want to be able to be myself
One of the most common reasons why men stay single is that they simply want to be able to be themselves.
We live in a society that often tells us we need to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled.
But the truth is, you can be happy and fulfilled without being in a relationship.
I want to be free to chase my own goals
Another common reason why men stay single is that they want to be free to chase their own goals.
In a relationship, you often have to make compromises and concessions.
But when you’re single, you can focus exclusively on your own goals and dreams.
This works great early in your life or career but most men eventually get to the point where they’re ready to share their lives and goals with a significant other.
I like to have my own space
Many men value their independence and freedom more than anything else.
They like having their own space and don’t want to feel under pressure from a partner.
This is perfectly normal and healthy.
But if you’re someone who likes having your own space, it’s important to make sure you’re not using it as an excuse to avoid intimacy and connection.
I want to not feel under pressure
A lot of men stay single because they don’t want to feel the pressure of being in a relationship.
There’s a lot of pressure to perform and meet the expectations of a partner.
But the truth is, relationships are only as pressuring as you make them.
If you’re with someone you trust and feel comfortable with, you should be able to relax and not feel under pressure.
I am not willing to make compromises and concessions
One of the biggest reasons why men stay single is because they’re not willing to make compromises and concessions.
In every relationship, there will be times when you have to give up something you want in order to make your partner happy.
But if you’re not willing to do that, you’ll likely find yourself single.
Compromises and concessions are a necessary part of every relationship.
I want to have fewer obligations
While some people see being in a relationship as a way to have someone to share their life with and grow old with, others see it as a means to an end.
They want someone to have children with and to be a companion, but they don’t want the hassle and drama that goes along with being in a committed relationship.
If you fall into this category, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you.
There are plenty of men who feel the same way and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have fewer obligations.
I want to avoid the responsibilities that a relationship entails
Another common reason why men stay single is because they want to avoid the responsibilities that come along with being in a relationship.
This could include things like financial responsibility, emotional responsibility, and even the responsibility of having to be there for someone else.
If you’re someone who doesn’t want the hassle of having to worry about someone else, then you’re not alone.
There are plenty of men who feel the same way and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to avoid the responsibilities of a relationship.
I want to have more choices
When you’re in a relationship, you typically have to compromise on things.
Whether it’s where you want to live, what you want to do with your free time, or even what you want to eat for dinner, you often have to consider someone else’s preferences.
If you’re someone who likes to have control over their own life and choices, then being single is probably the best option for you.
I want to be able to dress the way I want without having to answer to anyone
This is a common reason why men stay single, especially if they’re creative type.
If you’re someone who likes to express themselves through their clothing and appearance, then you may feel constrained by having to dress a certain way to please a partner.
Being single gives you the freedom to dress however you want and you don’t have to worry about someone else’s opinion.
I want to avoid conflict
Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship.
If you’re someone who would prefer to avoid it, then being single is probably the best option for you.
I prefer to be alone
If you’re someone who prefers their own company or simply doesn’t like being around other people, then being single is probably the best option for you.
And there are many men who prefer that solitary life. You know, the living in the woods by themselves types.
And this type of lifestyle choice can be brought on by a whole list of reasons, but odds are, if you’re reading this post and wondering why you’re still single, you’re not actually one of those guys.
So review all the reasons in the article and see if any of them fit.
I feel like I need some time alone
Often men will say they just need some time to themselves.
This could be for any number of reasons, including recently getting out of a long-term relationship, or simply because they haven’t been able to find the right person.
And that’s okay!
There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to yourself, and you shouldn’t feel like you need to be in a relationship just because everyone else is.
I got used to being alone
For some men, being single is simple a choice.
They’ve just gotten so used to it that they can’t imagine anything else.
This is often the case for men who have been single for a long time, or who have had several failed relationships.
I do not want to have a family
There are some men who know they don’t want to have a family.
Maybe they don’t want the responsibility, they don’t feel like they’re ready for it or perhaps their own family upbringing was less than great.
Or, they may simply not believe that having a family is necessary for a happy and fulfilled life.
Whatever the reason, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting a family.
You should only have one if you really want one, not because you feel like you’re supposed to.
I am not the family type
There are some men who just don’t see themselves as the family type.
They might not like children, or they might not be interested in the traditional family dynamic.
That’s perfectly fine!
Not every man wants to or is suited for a traditional family life, and that’s okay.
I believe that being in a relationship will not make me happier than I am right now
This is a valid reason to stay single.
If you’re happy with your life the way it is, and you don’t feel like being in a relationship would make you any happier, then there’s no reason to force yourself into one.
I do not feel the emotional need to start a relationship
This is another valid reason.
If you don’t feel the emotional need to be in a relationship, then you’re probably better off staying single.
There’s no point in being in a relationship just for the sake of it.
It should be something you really want, not something you feel like you’re supposed to do.
I want to focus on my career
There’s no denying that a lot of men place a great deal of importance on their careers. And in today’s competitive job market, it’s easy to understand why.
For many men, their careers are a huge part of their identities and sense of self-worth.
So it’s no surprise that a lot of men stay single because they want to focus on their careers and achieve as much as they can.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s admirable.
But just because you’re focused on your career doesn’t mean you have to be single.
If you’re looking to find someone to share your life with, there are plenty of ways to do it without sacrificing your career goals.
Be sure to check out The Top 90 Reasons Men Are Single: Part 2 of the series in which we cover the final 40 reasons why men stay single.