How to Build Intimacy in a Relationship? My Top Tips!

Let’s be honest, we’ve all seen those rom-coms where the couple is so passionately in love that they can’t keep their hands off each other.

We’ve seen them making out in the rain, in the middle of a crowded street, or even in the middle of a busy restaurant. And while those scenes may be super romantic, they’re not always realistic.

No relationship is perfect nor is it like the movies, but you can definitely make it thrive if you work at it.

After all, mind-blowing sex, memorable moments, and loads of affection don’t just happen by accident. They come from intentionally building intimacy with your partner.

It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it to put in the effort to make your relationship everything you want it to be. So if you’re looking to take things to the next level, here are a few ways to build intimacy and make your bond even more robust.

Intimacy doesn’t just happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of commitment from both partners. But it’s so worth it when you finally reach that level of closeness with your significant other.

You know all their little quirks and they know all of yours. You can be completely vulnerable with them and they’ll still love you no matter what. Those are the best kind of relationships.

Are you ready to build more intimacy and strengthen your relationship? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with how to create a deeper connection with their partner.

While there are many different ways to build intimacy, some are just better than others. Here are five of the best ways to create a closer bond with your partner:

1. Write love letters or small love notes

Who doesn’t love getting a love letter from their significant other? There’s something so unique and romantic about receiving a handwritten note expressing your partner’s love and affection.

But in today’s world of text messages and emojis, it can be easy to forget the power of a handwritten love note.

It doesn’t have to be anything long or complicated, just a few heartfelt words expressing your love. You can even sneak a little note into their lunchbox or leave it on their pillow before they go to bed.

Just the act of taking the time to write a letter will show your partner how much you care.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few tips:

  • Talk about specific things you love about your partner. What do you admire about them? What qualities do you find most attractive?
  • Write about a happy memory you shared together. What made it so special?
  • Express your hope for the future. What are you looking forward to doing together?

No matter what you write, your partner is sure to appreciate the effort you made to create a more intimate connection. So go ahead and give it a try!

2. Make time for cuddling

There’s nothing quite like a good cuddle. Whether you’re snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie or simply enjoying a long embrace, cuddling is a great way to show your affection and build intimacy with your partner.

Of course, life can be busy and it’s not always easy to find time for cuddling. But if you make it a priority, you’ll be amazed at how much it can improve your relationship. Here are a few tips to get you started:

  1. Make time for cuddling every day. Whether it’s a 10-minute snuggle session before bed or a quick cuddle on the couch, find time to cuddle up with your partner every day.
  2. Get creative. Cuddling doesn’t always have to be traditional. Get creative and find new ways to show your affection. For example, you could give your partner a back massage, cuddle while watching TV, or even cuddle in the shower!
  3. Be patient. Cuddling can be a great way to relax and unwind, but it’s not always easy to get in the mood. Be patient with yourself and your partner and take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
  4. Be present. When you’re cuddling, be present in the moment and focus on your partner. This means putting away your phone, turning off the TV, and really savoring the time you have together.
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Cuddling is a great way to show your affection and build intimacy with your partner. So make time for cuddling every day and see how it transforms your relationship!

3. Plan a weekly date night

We all know that quality time is vital in any relationship, but sometimes it’s hard to find the time (and energy) to go on regular dates. If you’re feeling like your relationship could use a boost, why not try planning a weekly date night?

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but just setting aside some time each week to focus on your partner can make a big difference.

Not sure what to do on date night? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Check out a new restaurant: Trying new things is always a great way to bond with your partner. Plus, it’s a great way to get out of your comfort zone and explore your city.
  • Have a picnic: Picnics are a great way to enjoy the outdoors and spend time together. Just make sure to pack some bug spray!
  • Take a dance class: Dancing is a great way to get moving and have fun together. Even if you’re not the best dancer, it’s all about enjoying yourself and spending time with your partner.
  • Play tourist: If you live in a city, pretend you’re visitors for the day and walk around downtown, checking out the sights. You’ll be surprised at how much you learn about your own city when you see it through new eyes.

No matter what you do on date night, the important thing is that you’re spend quality time together. So turn off your phones, put away distractions, and focus on each other. You may just find that you have more to talk about than you thought!

4. Schedule regular sex

It’s no secret that sex is a crucial ingredient in any happy and healthy relationship. Not only does it help to physically connect you and your partner, but it also provides a host of other benefits like reducing stress, improving sleep, and boosting immunity.

One way to keep things fresh is to schedule regular sex dates. This may sound unromantic, but it can actually be quite sexy to plan out your encounters. Plus, it takes the pressure off of spontaneous sex and gives you both something to look forward to.

Not sure how to get started? Here are a few tips:

  • Pick a day and time that works for both of you in advance. This way, you can both clear your schedules and make sure you’re relaxed and ready for action.
  • Get creative with your location. If you usually have sex at home, try doing it somewhere else for a change. A hotel room, a secluded spot in nature, or even the kitchen table can make things feel more exciting.
  • Think outside the bedroom. Sex doesn’t have to happen in bed all the time. You can get more adventurous and try doing it in different places around the house, or even in the backyard or balcony if you’re feeling daring.
  • Spice things up with sex new positions, toys, or fantasies. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, mix things up and try something new. You may be surprised at how pleasurable it can be to experiment with different ways of getting each other off.
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It can be tough to make time for sex when you’re juggling work, kids, and other commitments, but it’s important to prioritize it if you want to keep the spark alive. So get creative and find ways to work it into your schedule.

5. Take turns performing random acts of kindness

According to experts, one of the best ways to increase intimacy in your relationship is to take turns performing random acts of kindness.

So what are some examples of random acts of kindness? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Bringing your partner breakfast in bed
  • Doing the dishes without being asked
  • Giving your partner a back massage
  • Taking the dog for a walk
  • Surprising your partner with tickets to their favorite show
  • Leave a heartfelt note for your partner to find
  • Give them a gift, even if it’s something small like a piece of jewelry or a new book

The possibilities are endless!

6. Do something new together

One of the best ways to keep your relationship fresh and exciting is to try new things together. That doesn’t mean you need to jump out of a plane every month – although if that’s your thing, go for it! – but mixing up your routine can be a great way to keep things interesting.

So what are some things you can do together that are new and exciting? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  1. Check out a new restaurant or bar. Trying new foods and drinks is always a fun adventure.
  2. Visit a new town or city. Exploring somewhere new can be really exciting, especially if you don’t have a lot of time to travel.
  3. Go on a hike or walk in a new area. Getting out into nature is always great, and it’s even better when you’re exploring somewhere new.
  4. Take a dance class together. Learning something new – and getting a little exercise – can be a lot of fun.
  5. Go to a museum or art gallery. Checking out new art can be really inspiring, and it’s always interesting to see what’s currently on display.
  6. Take a cooking class. Cooking is a great way to bond, and it’s also a lot of fun to learn new recipes together.

So get out there and mix things up! Trying new things together is a great way to build intimacy and keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

7. Say “I love you” often

When it comes to relationships, we often hear that it’s important to express our love for one another. But what does that really mean?

Simply put, expressing love means saying and doing things that show our partner how much we care about them. It’s about making an effort to connect with them on a daily basis, whether it’s through words or actions.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to simply say “I love you” often. We know it sounds cliché, but those three little words can make a significant impact. Hearing them regularly can help our partner feel loved, appreciated, and valued.

Of course, saying “I love you” is just one way to express our love. Sometimes, it’s the little things we do that mean the most.

Whether it’s cooking dinner, taking the dog for a walk, or just lending a listening ear, these small gestures can go a long way in showing our partner how much we care.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that expressing our love is not about being perfect. It’s about making an effort to connect with our partner and build intimacy in a way that feels genuine and authentic.

So go ahead and say those three little words often… your partner will definitely appreciate it!

Ruth Thomas

Ruth Thomas

Hi! My name is Ruth! I am a sex therapist and a happily married swinger (for 20 years now).

I have a PhD in human sexuality and a masters in counseling. I've been helping people improve their sex lives for over 25 years.

I am a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) and the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM).

I'm here to help people explore their sexuality and find what works for them. Whether it's with one partner or many, in a committed relationship or not, I believe that everyone deserves to experience the joys of a fulfilling sexual life.