It’s like your whole world has come crashing down around you. You were so in love, and now she’s gone. Everyone tells you there are other fish in the sea, but you know they’re wrong. They just don’t understand.
You go on a few dates, but it’s just not the same. How could it be? She was your true love. Maybe things just didn’t work out because of poor timing in your life.
But fear not; all hope is not lost! Luckily, you can do a few things to make it happen.
Here are 9 simple (yet effective) things you can take do now to help win your ex back:
1. Get It Together
First things first, you need to do is get your shit together. No more drunken texts or late-night phone calls begging for them to come back.
You need to be confident, calm, and collected if you want any chance of getting them back.
They need to see that you’re doing just fine without them and that you’re not a hot mess. This is going to be hard, but you can do it. Believe in yourself!
2. Reflect on The Past
Secondly, if you want to win your ex back, you need to take a good hard look at yourself and figure out what went wrong in the relationship.
This is not a time for finger-pointing or blame but rather a time for honest reflection.
Be honest with yourself – no one is perfect, but taking responsibility for your own actions is an essential step in mending a broken relationship.
Here’s a list of questions to ask yourself when reflecting on your relationship:
- How did I communicate with my ex?
- Was I always respectful, even when we were arguing?
- Did I try to see things from their perspective, or was I only focused on my own point of view?
- Did I make an effort to spend time with them, or did I take them for granted?
- Did I take care of their needs or only think about my own?
- What did I do that may have contributed to the breakup?
- What could I have done differently?
3. Give Them Space
When it comes to winning your ex back, this is probably the hardest thing to do, but it’s important to give your ex the space they need. They need time to think about things and figure out what they want.
If you do continue to talk to your ex during this time, make sure that you keep the conversation light and friendly. Don’t bring up the past or try to convince them to get back together with you.
Just let them know that you’re there for them if they need to talk.
4. Don’t Be Needy
If you want to rekindle the flame with your ex, above all, don’t be needy.
Don’t try to force your way back into their life or beg for their forgiveness. This will only push them further away.
It seems counterintuitive, but if you can show that you can be happy without them, they may start to wonder if you really need them after all.
It’s a fact that people are attracted to others who appear happy and self-contained rather than needy and desperate.
So, if you have to be apart, try to make it work as best you can. Accept that there may be a period during which you won’t speak, but try to avoid unnecessary drama and sulking.
5. Show Them What They’re Missing
One of the best ways to win your ex back is to show them what they’re missing. And in today’s social media world, that’s easier than ever.
Make sure you’re living your best life, and post about it. Show her that you’re having fun without her. Let her see that you’ve moved on, even if you haven’t.
If she sees that you’re doing just fine without her, she’ll start to wonder if she made a mistake. And that’s when you’ve got her right where you want her.
Of course, you can’t just post any old thing. You need to be strategic about it. Post things that you know will interest her, things that will make her jealous.
Post pictures of you with friends or just having a great time in general. Go to all the places she always wanted to go, and take pictures.
In short, make your life look as enviable as possible.
But don’t overdo it. You don’t want to come across as a dick or insensitive. And you don’t want her to think you’re trying to make her jealous on purpose. Just post normally, and let the pictures do the talking.
6. Be Patient
Don’t rush things. Once you’ve started to show her what she’s missing, be patient. Let her wonder about you and what you’re up to. The more she thinks about you, the more likely she is to reach out.
There’s some reverse psychology in play here. If you seem like you’re not interested, it should make her more interested. Got it?!
And when she finally does reach out, don’t be too available. You don’t want to seem too eager. Play it cool, and let her chase you a bit. Let her think she’s the one doing the chasing. That’s when you’ll know you’ve got her back for good.
7. Believe in Yourself
This is probably the most important thing of all. If you don’t believe in yourself, she never will.
You need to be confident and believe that you’re good enough for her. If you can do that, you’re well on your way to winning your ex back.
8. Make Contact
So you’ve waited long enough, you’re living the life of a rock star on your social media profiles, but she still hasn’t reached out. It’s time to take matters into your own hands and reinsert yourself into her life in a positive light.
The first step is to make contact. This can be done in a few different ways, depending on how you want to approach it. You can start with a simple text or social media message. If you want to go the more traditional route, you can send her a handwritten letter expressing your feelings.
It’s important to be honest and genuine in your communication. If you try to play games or trick her, it will only backfire.
If she responds positively to your initial contact, then you can take things to the next level. If she’s receptive, you can ask her out for coffee or drinks. If she’s still hesitant, then you can invite her to a group activity with mutual friends.
The key is to take things slowly and not try to rush into a relationship. You want her to feel comfortable and safe with you. Once you’ve built up trust and a strong foundation, then you can start thinking about getting back together.
9. It’s A Date
One small positive of a breakup is that it can sometimes reboot your relationship. In many ways, you’re starting over. So why not have fun with it.
Set up a first date like you had just met. Play it cool; act like you don’t know each other. It’ll be a fun game for both of you. And hopefully this time, you get it right! 😉