If you’re the type of guy who has more than his share of sexual fantasies, you’re in excellent company. Men love to fantasize. And they love to fantasize even further about perhaps sharing those fantasies with a partner one day and having her express an eagerness to explore them.
But thinking about telling a partner and doing it are two different matters. After all, no one likes the idea of being that vulnerable with a partner only for them to express disgust or otherwise reject them.
Don’t let those fears stop you from putting yourself out there, though. Your sexual fantasies are probably more common than you think, and there are more women out there who are into the same things than you imagine. Here are some great examples.
1. Masturbation Play
Both men and women like to entertain the idea of adding masturbation to their partnered sex life, so rest easy in the knowledge that it’s not just you. Most women have, at one time or another, fantasized about using their hands to get their partners off in a variety of different situations. People also fantasize about masturbating in front of their partners, watching their partners masturbate, or masturbating together.
Sharing something so private with someone else is red hot, so it’s no wonder so many people think about it. And this is the sort of thing you can almost just go for in bed without any prior discussion. But it’s easy enough to bring up by telling your partner you’d love to bring her to orgasm using just your hand and asking how she’d feel about that.
Acts like threesomes, foursomes, and other forms of group sex have a reputation as male-centric fantasies for sure, but this isn’t necessarily true. Many women fantasize about being involved in a threesome themselves, and they’re especially likely to fantasize about situations where they can explore same-sex intimacy.
Naturally, threesomes aren’t suitable for every couple (or even every person), and there are ways to explore the sexual fantasy further without inviting a third person into your bed. But don’t simply assume that your female partners have never thought about having one. Try bringing it up sometime as a roleplaying idea and taking things from there.
3. Public Sex
How many times in your life have you been out somewhere and had it cross your mind just how hot it would be to get it on with a partner somewhere specific? Maybe it was a particular park bench that was just out of the way enough that you’d be able to get away with it. Or maybe your spot of choice was the beach at sunset or the back row of a dark movie theater at midnight.
Whatever the case may have been, you can rest easy in knowing that over half of all women think about scenarios like that, too. They’re as turned on as you are by the potential risk of getting caught, and most are willing to explore the possibilities to at least some extent. Try suggesting a compromise – a naughty tryst in the backyard or the car instead of that park bench in full potential view of everyone else.
Fifty Shades of Grey only gives people the impression that BDSM is something only the most depraved people out there like to think about, but it’s actually a very common sexual fantasy. Both men and women love to entertain fantasies of domination, submission, or both. However, it’s generally more common for men to think about domination, while women love to dwell on the idea of being submissive.
Try bringing this up with a partner by discussing the related feelings and sensations you’d like to explore. Maybe you want to feel powerful, adored, or desired beyond reason. Use these desires as a segue into a deeper discussion about BDSM themes.
5. Non-Consensual Acts
Don’t make the mistake of thinking this isn’t something women fantasize about because it certainly is. Of course, this doesn’t mean they literally wish a man would take them by force without their consent because no one truly wants that. But – like BDSM – this fantasy involves classic themes like domination versus submission, taboo, and more.
Fantasy can be a fun, healthy, intriguing way to push boundaries and flirt with taboos, and most people do entertain thoughts about this particular scenario. Casually bringing up the topic in conversation is an excellent way to feel a partner out about this one, so go ahead and put out some feelers.
Ultimately, sexual fantasies are not only fun and healthy but enjoyable ways to take sex with a partner to the next level. So don’t be afraid to bring them up for discussion. You’re likely to be pleasantly surprised.