You bolt upright in bed, heart racing, body trembling, night sweat drenching the sheets. You’re panting, trying to catch your breath, trying to make sense of the erotic images still seared into your brain. Was it just a dream? It felt so real. You can still smell her perfume, taste her skin. And when you close your eyes and she’s there again, naked, writhing, moaning.
You look down and you are as hard as a rock as you relive the dream. You can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more to this, that this dream means something. So you lie there trying to understand what your subconscious is trying to tell you.
Ever had a sex dream like that? Yeah, we’ve all been there. And most of us can’t stop thinking: “Why the heck did my brain choose to do that to me?” It’s especially confusing when the person in your dream is someone you haven’t thought about in years. Or when the sexual activities in your dream are things you wouldn’t do in real life.
Before making any assumptions, realize that most dreams aren’t what they seem, says Alice Harper, an expert in Oneirology (the study of dreams). “Don’t immediately assume that a sexual dream is representative of a real-life desire,” she says. More often than not, sex in a dream signifies something else entirely. According to Ms. Harper, “Dreams communicate through symbols, not literal objects or events.”
Sexual dreams are not just a phase teenagers go through; adults have them too. This is especially true for people who are still exploring their sexuality. Sex in dreams often symbolizes qualities that we want in our lives or things we want to achieve. It’s not just about physical pleasure, it’s about so much more than that.
When it comes to sex dreams, it can be tricky to understand what exactly is happening. While some dreams may be straightforward, others may require some interpretation in order to work out what is being asked of you. Harper advises that when you are having any type of dream, whether it is a normal dream or a sex dream, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel a strong connection to this person in real life?
- Do I feel like I NEED to connect with this person in order to have a good experience?
- Is there something specific about this person that I find attractive or desirable?
Once you know the answer to these questions, it will be easier to take what is being asked of you in your dream and make it a reality in the waking world.
Many people have a wide range of sexual dreams, from those that are vanilla and uncomplicated to those that are more adventurous. However, there are a few common themes that appear in sex dreams, no matter what kind of fantasy you are indulging in.
In this article, we will explore the meaning of these common scenes and what they might mean for you. Although each dream is unique, some of the things that may be happening in them may be linked to the same thing in your waking life. So read on to find out what your sex dreams might mean for you.
Dreaming About Having Sex with You Ex
This is by the far the most common type of sex dream according to Ms. Harper. Dreams about exes can be triggered by a variety of things, from actually missing the person to simply missing the physical intimacy. But just because you have a dream about an ex doesn’t mean you actually want to get back together.
“There are a few different interpretations of dreams about an ex,” says Ms. Harper, “but the most common one is that they are a way of the subconscious evaluating past relationships and determining which type of person is best suited for you.”
This can be in response to something happening in your current relationship. Or it could simply be because you are missing the physical intimacy that was once a part of your life.
If you are in a happy and healthy relationship, there is no need to worry. However, if you are not in a good relationship, it may be time to reassess your situation and see if your subconscious is trying to tell you something.
Either way, it is important to remember that just because you have a dream about an ex does not mean you actually want to get back together.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Celebrity
We’ve all had them: those X-rated dreams featuring a celebrity that gets us all hot and bothered. And while we may not want to admit it, most of us enjoy it.
But before you start thinking that your dream is representative of a real-life desire, Harper says “Don’t immediately assume that a sexual dream about someone famous is representative of a real-life desire.” More often than not, sex with that celebrity signifies something else entirely.
So, what does it mean when you dream of getting busy with a celebrity? According to Harper, “The celebrity in your dream is likely symbolic of something else.”
So what could your celebrity sex dream be symbolic of? Here are a few possibilities:
- You’re attracted to their success: If you find yourself dreaming of having sex with a celebrity who is wealthy or successful, it could be that you’re subconsciously attracted to their success. Maybe you’re feeling insecure in your own life and are looking for someone to admire and look up to.
- You’re attracted to their looks: Let’s face it, we all have that one celebrity that we find incredibly attractive. If you find yourself dreaming of getting busy with them, it could be that you’re simply attracted to their physical appearance.
- You’re looking for attention: We all crave attention and validation from time to time. Sometimes a celebrity sex dream can be a manifestation of that. If you find yourself dreaming of having sex with a celebrity who is in the spotlight, it could be that you’re looking for some attention yourself.
- You’re exploring your sexuality: We all have different sexual desires. Sometimes a celebrity sex dream can be a way of exploring those desires in a safe and non-threatening way. If you find yourself dreaming of having sex with a celebrity of the same gender, it could be that you’re curious about your own sexuality.
- You’re feeling powerless: Dreams of having sex with a celebrity can also be a way of dealing with feelings of powerlessness. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you have no control, dreaming of having sex with a celebrity can be a way of regaining that power.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Stranger
“Dreams of having sex with strangers could simply be a manifestation of anxiety or stress in your life,” Harper says. “It could be that you’re feeling a loss of control in other aspects of your life and your subconscious is trying to compensate.”
Alternatively, this dream could also be symbolic of feeling trapped or suffocated in your current relationship. If you’re in a long-term relationship, you may be feeling a need for more novelty and excitement.
And if you’re not in a relationship, this dream may just be a reflection of your current dating situation according to Harper. Maybe you’ve been going on a lot of first dates but not progressing to anything more serious. Or perhaps you’re just feeling a bit lonely and crave physical intimacy.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Friend
There are a few different interpretations of this dream. The most common one is that you desire a closer relationship with this person. This dream is often symbolic of an unfulfilled attraction. Alternatively, this dream could also be a representation of your own insecurities and self-doubt.
If you have this dream frequently, it might be worth considering if there’s something about this friendship that you’re not satisfied with. Do you feel like you’re not being heard or seen? Is there something you wish you could change? If so, maybe it’s time to have a conversation with your friend about your feelings.
Other possible interpretations of this dream include:
- You are worried that you are not good enough for your friend.
- You are afraid of being rejected by your friend.
- You are worried that your friend doesn’t like you anymore.
- You are afraid of losing your friend.
Dreaming About Having Sex with Someone of The Same Gender
When you have a sex dream about someone of the same gender, it can be confusing and leave you feeling disturbed. But there’s no need to freak out. These types of dreams are common. And don’t necessarily mean you’re gay or have hidden desires.
More often than not, samesex dreams are symbolic of a desire for emotional closeness or intimacy with someone in your life. This could be a friend, family member, or coworker. Alternatively, it could be a representation of yourself. “The dream may be prompting you to examine some hidden aspect of your own personality,” Ms. Harper says.
If you’re in a committed relationship, samesex dreams can also indicate a fear of sexual intimacy or a lack of emotional closeness in your relationship. Alternatively, they may simply be a sign that you need to branch out and meet new people.
Other possible interpretations of this dream include:
- You are worried that you are not good enough for your partner.
- You are afraid of being rejected by your partner.
- You are worried that your partner does not like you anymore.
- You are afraid of losing your partner.
Whatever the case may be, don’t interpret your dream too literally. Instead, take some time to reflect on what the dream might be trying to tell you. Chances are, it’s not as taboo as you think.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Co-Worker
Sexual dreams about co-workers are extremely common, and there are a few different interpretations of what they might mean.
Some believe that the dream is a symbolic representation of a desire to be promoted or recognized at work. The dreamer may be feeling undervalued or unappreciated. And the sexual act is a way of showing how much they want to be valued by their employer.
Others believe that the dream is a way of processing sexual tension that exists in the workplace. The dreamer may be attracted to a co-worker but is unable to act on those feelings, so the dream provides a way to release that tension.
Still others believe that the dream is simply a reflection of the dreamer’s own libido and has no hidden meaning. The dreamer may simply be thinking about sex a lot and their subconscious is projecting those thoughts into a sexual encounter with a co-worker.
Whatever the interpretation, sexual dreams about co-workers are very common and usually harmless. If you have one of these dreams, don’t overthink it. And try not to let it affect your work relationship with the person in question.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Boss
Harper says that people in dreams often represent some aspect of ourselves. “For example, a boss in a dream might represent the ‘bossy’ side of our personality or the part of us that is in charge and likes to be in control.”
So when you have a sex dream about your boss, it might not be about them specifically. But rather about the qualities they embody that you are attracted to.
Alternatively, your boss might also represent something that is causing you stress or anxiety in your waking life. “Often, the people or situations that are causing us stress in our lives will show up in our dreams,” says Harper.
If you’re constantly worried about a big project at work or a looming deadline, it’s not surprising that your boss might make an appearance in your sex dreams.
Finally, it’s also possible that you simply find your boss attractive and the dream is a manifestation of that. Maybe you’ve been attracted to your boss from the moment you laid eyes on them. Or maybe they’ve been growing on you and you’ve only recently realized how hot they are.
In any case, it’s not unusual to have sexual fantasies about people we are attracted to, even if we would never act on them.
Dreaming About Having Sex in Public
Many of us have had at least one dream about having sex in public. And while some people might interpret this as a desire to be exhibitionists, that’s not always the case.
According to Ms. Harper, dreaming about having sex in public can symbolize a desire for attention and approval. “This dream usually occurs when the dreamer feels insecure or lacks confidence in their abilities,” she says. “They may feel like they are not being seen or heard in their waking life, and so their subconscious mind is creating a situation in which they are the center of attention.”
If you find yourself dreaming about having sex in public. It might be worth taking a step back to assess how you’re feeling in your everyday life. Do you feel like you’re being ignored or that your work is going unnoticed? This dream could be your subconscious way of telling you that you need to speak up or ask for help.
On the other hand, if you’re confident and secure in your waking life. Then this dream might simply be a reflection of your sexual fantasies. “There’s nothing wrong with having fantasies about sex in public,” says Ms. Harper. “In fact, it can be a perfectly normal and healthy part of a person’s sexuality.”
Dreaming About Having Sex with Your Partner and A Third Person
Harper says that a dream about having sex with your partner and a third person is likely symbolic of something else going on in your relationship. “It could represent feelings of insecurity or a fear of being replaced,” she says. “It could also be a sign that you’re feeling neglected in the relationship and are looking for ways to spice things up.”
If you’re in a committed relationship, dreaming about having sex with someone else can be a troubling experience. But don’t freak out just yet. “It’s important to remember that dreams are not reality,” Harper says. “They’re just a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings.”
On the other hand, if you’re single and dreaming about having sex with 2 people, it could be a sign that you’re ready to take things to the next level. “It could be your subconscious telling you that you’re ready for a threesome,” Harper says.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Family Member
Sex dreams involving family members are pretty common. And they don’t necessarily mean you want to have sex with them in real life. In fact, these dreams often have nothing to do with sex at all.
So what do they mean then?
Well, it all depends on the context of the dream. If you’re dreaming about having sex with a family member, it could mean that you’re feeling close to them emotionally or that you share a strong bond with them. It could also be a sign that you’re feeling guilty about something or that you have unresolved issues with them.
Another possibility is that you’re looking for validation or attention from them. Maybe you feel like you don’t get enough love from them, and the dream is a way to feel close to them again.
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Prostitute or Stripper
Ms. Harper explains that when you dream about having sex with a prostitute or stripper, it’s not necessarily about wanting to engage in those activities in real life. “Rather, this dream symbolizes something else that’s going on in your life, something that you’re struggling with or trying to come to terms with.”
She says that the prostitute or stripper in your dream could represent a part of yourself that you feel is dirty or tainted. “You may feel like you’re selling yourself out in some way, or that you’re being used by someone,” she says. “This dream could also be a sign that you’re feeling sexually frustrated or repressed in some way.”
If you have this dream, Ms. Harper recommends taking a step back and looking at your life to see if there’s anything that could be triggering it. “Are you in a relationship that’s not fulfilling your needs? Are you working in a job that’s soul-sucking? These are the types of things that can lead to sexual frustration and repression, which can then manifest in dreams like this.”
Dreaming About Having Sex with A Group of People
We’ve all had those dreams where we find ourselves in an incredibly intimate situation with someone we’re attracted to. But what does it mean when that someone is not just one person, but a group of people?
According to Harper, dreams about having sex with a group of people can symbolize a desire for connection, belonging, and being wanted. “This dream may be telling you that you are craving more closeness, both physically and emotionally, in your life,” she says.
It could also be a sign that you are feeling a bit left out or isolated from your social circle. “You may feel like you are the ‘third wheel’ or that you don’t really fit in with your friends,” Harper explains. This dream could be your mind’s way of telling you that you need to reach out and connect with others.
Finally, this dream could also be a manifestation of your own sexual desires. “If you have fantasies about having sex with multiple partners, this dream could be a way for your subconscious to explore those desires,” Harper says.
If you find yourself having this dream repeatedly, it might be worth considering what it is you are really yearning for in your life. Are you craving more intimacy? Do you feel isolated and alone? Or are you simply exploring your own sexual desires? Once you’ve figured that out, you can take steps to address those needs in your waking life.
Dreaming About Having Forced Sex
Please don’t be alarmed if you find yourself having a sex dream in which you are being forced into sex. This is a very common dream, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are secretly wishing to be raped. More often than not, this type of dream is symbolic of feeling powerless or out of control in some area of your life.
For example, you may feel like you are being forced to do something you don’t want to do at work. Or like you are being pushed into a situation that you are not ready for. Alternatively, this dream may also be a sign that you are struggling with some aspect of your sexuality.
If you find yourself having this type of dream on a regular basis, it may be worth discussing it with a therapist or counselor who can help you to explore the possible meaning behind the dream.