So you’re in love, you’ve found your soulmate, the sex is amazing and you’re ready to move in together.
But before you sign that lease, let’s talk about how moving in together can kill your sex life—and what you can do about it.
The Decline of Sexual Intimacy When Couples Move in Together
It’s no secret that sex is an important part of a relationship. It’s a way to physically connect with your partner, it helps to reduce stress, and it just plain feels good.
And while moving in together can be a great way to save money and build a life together, there’s one big downside: it can kill your sex life.
Think about it: when you first meet someone and start dating, you enter into what’s called the “Honeymoon Phase.” This is the period of time when you can’t get enough of each other.
You’re constantly thinking about each other, wanting to be around each other, and, of course, having a lot of sex.
But as time goes on and you move in together, that honeymoon phase starts to fade. The novelty of being around each other all the time wears off, and you start to take each other for granted.
The result is a decline in sexual intimacy.
The Reasons Why Moving in Together Causes a Dip in Sexual Frequency
1. Things become routine
One of the biggest challenges of living together is that things can quickly become routine.
You might find yourself falling into a pattern of coming home from work, eating dinner, watching TV, and going to bed – and sex can often take a backseat to these other activities.
This is totally normal, but it’s important to be aware of how easy it is to let your sex life become low priority.
2. You’re not making time for each other
When you live together, it’s easy to take each other for granted and assume that there will always be time for sex later.
But the truth is, if you’re not making time for each other, your sex life is likely to suffer.
It’s important to schedule in time for date nights, romantic weekends away, and even just some time to relax together without any distractions.
3. You start taking each other for granted
Another common issue is that couples start taking each other for granted once they live together.
It’s easy to start seeing your partner as a roommate or friend, rather than as someone you are attracted to and want to have sex with.
This can be a major contributor to a decline in sexual desire and frequency.
4. You’re not communicating
Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important when it comes to sex.
If you’re not communicating with your partner about your needs, wants, and desires, it’s likely that your sex life will suffer.
5. You’re under stress
Stress is another major libido killer. Typically, when you’re at the stage of moving in with your partner, you’re at a particularly stressful point in your life, both personally and at work.
Whether it’s work stress, financial stress, or stress from other areas of your life, it can all take a toll on your sex life.
If you’re feeling stressed, it’s important to communicate with your partner and find ways to de-stress together.
6. You’re not physically attracted to each other anymore
It’s normal for physical attraction to ebb and flow over time, but if you find that you’re no longer physically attracted to your partner, it can be a big problem.
This is often a result of one or both partners letting themselves go and not making an effort to stay physically fit and attractive.
7. You have different sex drives
It’s not uncommon for couples to have different sex drives, and this can often be a major source of conflict.
If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, it can be easy to feel rejected and unfulfilled.
Conversely, if you have a lower sex drive than your partner, you might feel pressured to have sex more often than you’re comfortable with.
9. You’re not getting enough sleep
Sleep is one of the most important factors in a healthy sex life, but it’s often one of the first things to suffer when you live together.
Between work, family, and other commitments, it can be difficult to get a good night’s sleep.
If you’re not getting enough sleep, it’s likely to impact your libido and your ability to perform sexually.
10. You’re not feeling connected to your partner
In order to want to have sex with your partner, you need to feel emotionally connected to them.
If you’re not feeling emotionally connected to your partner, it’s likely that your sex life will suffer.
This is often a result of not communicating or spending time together.
The Importance of Maintaining Sexual Intimacy in a Relationship
It’s no secret that sexual intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship. But what many people don’t realize is that from a psychological standpoint, maintaining sexual intimacy is essential to keeping a relationship healthy and strong.
Sexual intimacy fosters closeness and promotes bonding between partners. It also helps to keep the spark alive in a relationship and can help couples feel more connected to one another.
But beyond all of that, sexual intimacy is also a way to release stress, tension, and anxiety.
It’s a way to let go of all the day-to-day worries and just focus on being in the moment with your partner. And in a world that is often chaotic and stressful, that is no small thing.
So if you’re feeling like your sex life has taken a hit since moving in together, it’s important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Yes, it’s normal for the frequency of sex to decline a bit as a relationship progresses. But if you’re not having sex at all, or if you’re feeling like sex is a chore, then that’s a problem.
There are a number of possible reasons why moving in together can kill your sex life. Whatever the reason, it’s important to address the issue head-on.
Otherwise, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and even a feeling of disconnection from your partner.
Tips For Keeping Your Sex Life Alive When You Move in Together
Routine is often the enemy of sex. When you live together, it’s easy to fall into a rut of going to work, coming home, cooking dinner, watching TV, and going to bed.
There’s nothing wrong with this routine per se, but it can be a trap that doesn’t leave a lot of room for sex.
Here are some tips for keeping your sex life alive when you move in together and avoid falling into that trap:
- Schedule date nights. This may seem cheesy, but it can actually be helpful. Once you live together, it’s easy to take each other for granted and forget to make time for date nights. By scheduling them in advance, you’re more likely to actually make them happen.
- Get creative with your sex life. If you find yourself in a sexual rut, it’s time to get creative. Try some X-rated sex positions, experiment, and spice things up. This will keep your sex life interesting and exciting.
- Make time for sex. Just like anything else in your relationship, you need to make time for sex. It’s not going to happen if you don’t make it a priority. So, put your phones away, turn off the TV, and focus on each other.
- Communicate with each other. If you’re not communicating with your partner, you’re not going to have a great sex life. Talk about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want to try. This will make your sex life much better.
- Buy some toys. If you want to add some excitement to your sex life, buy some sex toys. This can be anything from vibrators to bondage gear. Just make sure you’re both on the same page about it and that you’re comfortable with each other.
- Be spontaneous. One of the best things about sex is that it doesn’t have to be planned. So, be spontaneous and have sex whenever and wherever the mood strikes you. Don’t be afraid to do it in the kitchen or on the dining table! This will keep your sex life exciting and fun.
- Drink some wine. While we don’t recommend making this a habit, a glass of wine at dinner can actually help you relax and get in the mood.
- Take baths or showers together. This is a great way to relax and get in the mood for sex. Plus, it’s a great way to bond with your partner.
- Exercise together. Exercise is a great way to increase your libido. So, if you’re looking for a way to get in the mood, try working out with your partner.
- Find new ways to turn each other on. Some new lingerie or even just a playful text message can be a great way to keep the spark alive. The key is to keep things fresh and exciting.
When you move in with your partner, it’s natural to assume that your sex life will only get better. After all, you’ll finally have uninterrupted time together and you won’t have to worry about roommates or parents walking in on you.
But the reality is that moving in together can actually kill your sex life. Why? Because it’s easy to fall into a comfortable routine and stop putting effort into your relationship.
If you want to keep the spark alive, you need to be proactive and make an effort to keep things interesting. Following this guide will certainly help.
But at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide how important your sex life is and whether you’re willing to put in the work to maintain it.