Where to Find Local Swingers

If you want to find local swingers, you won’t have to look too hard.  People might seem a bit uptight in public yet there are plenty of freaks out there just waiting for the opportunity to get down and dirty.

What matters most is social context and your willingness to venture into the unknown.

Make an effort to be social, shift out of your comfort zone and you’ll find local swingers.

Access to Casual Sex is Easier Than You Think

Most people assume finding someone interested in casual sex requires hours at the bar, uncomfortable social interactions, and an expansive social circle.  Even if you don’t have the gift of gab and are somewhat of loner, you’ll be able to find local swingers.  What matters most is your effort.

Finding local swingers for casual sex comes down to mathematics.  Shoot your shot often enough and you are bound to sink a few.  So don’t assume it is only smoking hot young women who have easy access to casual sex.

Plenty of men find local swingers with surprisingly little effort, even if they aren’t particularly social, good-looking, or willing to indulge in alcohol, marijuana or other drugs.

How to Find Local Swingers

Getting into the swing lifestyle does not require a Tinder account.  If you can hold a conversation and maintaining eye contact, you will find someone who’s down to fuck.  It will certainly help if you look halfway decent and don’t have sky-high standards for hookups.

Dress nicely, freshen up and you will find local swingers at one of many of the establishments in your home city.

The question is whether you want to put yourself out there in a public setting in your quest for sex.  If you’d prefer to light the flame of sexual attraction from behind a screen, Tinder or another one of the top hookup sites is the better option.

However, if you are a man, you should be aware that the majority of hookup app users are likely to gravitate toward men who have the hottest profile pictures, ultimately whittling down the field of potential flames unless you are especially good-looking.

Fret not, as you can easily find local swingers at nearby bars, nightclubs, shopping centers and other social spaces.

Whether you are a man or a woman, you will find nothing is more alluring than a confident individual who approaches with a smile and initiates conversation.

Even if you aren’t comfortable making this initial move, there is a chance a potential flame will initiate conversation if you simply put yourself out there in a public setting.  The alternative is to remain at home, attempting to put your personality and looks on display within the narrow constraints of a hookup app.

Disappointment-Free Hookups

Part of the magic of hooking up with a new sex partner is the prospect of ongoing sex that lasts well beyond the initial encounter.  Both men and women tend to be open to a “fuck buddy” setup as opposed to limiting the hookup to a single one-night stand.

What might seem like one night of casual sex has the potential to lead to “friends with benefits”, providing you and your sex partner with the opportunity to get your rocks off for the foreseeable future.  Make an effort to understand one another’s expectations and no one will get hurt.

The rules of hookups start with the acknowledgment by both parties that casual sex does not equate to dating.

If you are looking for a life partner, you should be dating as opposed to having casual sex.  Make it clear you are looking to find local swingers for fun as opposed to a serious relationship and you won’t have to worry about creating an emotional attachment.

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The challenge lies in making this distinction in an artful manner.  After all, plenty of hookups have the impression of being a date, creating the potential for the interaction to be interpreted as something more meaningful than it actually is.

So don’t try to meet a hookup with a dating app. Opt for a hookup app, a swingers’ party, or a cold approach in a public setting, make your intentions clear toward the outset of the interaction and you can get down to business.

Keep Emotions out of It

A sex partner who establishes an emotional connection is no longer just a fuck buddy.  The attachment of emotions to a relationship transforms the sex partner into a boyfriend or girlfriend worthy of a full-fledged formal relationship.

If you suspect your sex partner is developing an emotional connection to you, stamp out that emotional investment as soon as you sense it.

Communicate your intention is to hook up as opposed to a start a serious relationship instead of giving into human nature and telling her (or him) what you think he/she wants to hear.

After all, the last thing you need is for a scorned hookup partner to key your car or attempt to burn down your house because you led them on, making them think that nightly sex sessions were anything more than just that – sex.

Hookups Should be Mutually Beneficial

There is a slight danger in announcing your intention of hooking up for sex in that you might become inconsiderate to your partner’s sexual needs.

You might be tempted to “get your nut”, smashing and dashing without making sure that your fuck buddy gets hers.

Be considerate of your hookup’s needs and you’ll set the stage for more sex.

The alternative is to get your rocks off and bounce, assuming the session was just as good for your hookup as it was for yourself.

After all, there aren’t any ramifications to smashing and dashing if you aren’t in an official relationship.  However, the downside is your hookup will eventually put an end to the “friends with benefits” arrangement, forcing you to try to find other local swingers.

The key takeaway from engaging in casual sex is it involves reciprocation.  Resist the temptation to self-serve by cumming as quickly as possible or trying porn maneuvers you wouldn’t dare attempt with a serious boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

Treat your flame with respect and he/she will be that much more likely to let you keep on hitting as often as you like.

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Find Local Swingers Through Your Social Circle

It is no secret that social circles are dwindling as a result of the rapid rise of technology, social media and the contagious virus that is COVID-19.  However, you probably have at least one or two friends.

Meet up with your pals in a social setting, put in “face time” around others and you just might catch the eye of someone looking for casual sex.  You might even find local swingers by straight up asking friends if they know anyone looking for a hookup.

The beauty of connecting with a hookup through a friend is he or she serves as a trusted connection who has already vetted potential sex partners in a social sense, meaning the risk is low and the potential benefit is stratospherically high.

Continue to expand your social circle by joining local clubs, introducing yourself to strangers in public spaces and being more social on campus or at work.

The more people you meet, the better your chances are of finding someone who knows someone who shares the same goal of casual sex with no strings attached.

Use a Swinger Hookup Site

Hookup sites like Ashley Madison are not the same as dating sites like Match.

Create profiles on swinger sites, add your pictures, initiate digital conversations with others looking for casual sex and it won’t be long until you meet up with a fuck buddy.

Aside from our go to sex site (see our Ashley Madison review), there are plenty of other hookup sites for swingers like Adult Friend Finder or Fetish.com.

Join Swingers Clubs or Start Your Own

Join a local swingers club and you won’t have any shortage of options for one-night stands and possibly a friend with benefits arrangement that leads to consistent casual sex.  Meet enough swingers and you might even consider starting your own swingers club that attracts additional like-minded people in your area.

Keep in mind, most swingers’ clubs have a specific membership process so be prepared to satisfy these requirements to join the club.

You can establish your own set of formal rules when starting your own swingers’ group.  The best part about proactively creating your own swingers club is you get to control how it works, who is allowed to participate and all the subtleties of the group.

Attend a Swingers Party

RSVP to a swinger get-together in your area and you’ll connect with plenty of locals searching for the same thing as you.  Some swinger parties are spontaneous to the point that they randomize sex hookups by drawing numbers out of a hat.

Other swinger parties give couples the opportunity to pair up with one another and have fun on-site in a large house with multiple bedrooms.

Keep your ear to the ground for other local soirees and it won’t take long to find additional opportunities to find local swingers in your area.

When in doubt, start small.  Meet up with a few swingers, get a sense of what they are looking for in terms of sex and expand from there.


Ruth Thomas

Ruth Thomas

Hi! My name is Ruth! I am a sex therapist and a happily married swinger (for 20 years now).

I have a PhD in human sexuality and a masters in counseling. I've been helping people improve their sex lives for over 25 years.

I am a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) and the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM).

I'm here to help people explore their sexuality and find what works for them. Whether it's with one partner or many, in a committed relationship or not, I believe that everyone deserves to experience the joys of a fulfilling sexual life.