A First-Timer’s Guide to Swinging: What to Know and Where to Start

If you’ve ever thought the idea of getting down and dirty with another couple sounded like the hottest thing ever, you’re not alone.

With general society becoming increasingly accepting of alternative approaches to relationships and sex, couples aren’t stopping at fantasizing anymore when it comes to swinging. They’re actually experiencing the swingers lifestyle for themselves, and you can too.

However, knowing you’re ready to go from dreaming about swinging to trying it is easy. Figuring out where to start is another challenge entirely.

Here’s a first-timer’s guide to swinging about what you need to know to plan, arrange, and have an experience that’s everything you want it to be.

Why Are You Interested in Swinging?

Maybe you and your partner have already answered this question for yourselves. If not though, it’s important to do so before you start making concrete plans, because there are both good and bad reasons for wanting to swing.

If this is something you think will fix a relationship that’s going sour or it’s something only one of you wants to try, swinging isn’t for you.

Swinging doesn’t fix anyone’s problems.

It does introduce healthy, sex-positive couples and individuals to some exciting new ways to experience pleasure, both with one another and with others.

It’s a great way to inject some serious energy and heat into your sex life as well.

Decide How You Want to Swing

There’s no one right way to get into swinging, so how you do it is completely up to you and your partner. Some people are really into big, splashy swinger parties and special events. Others prefer to connect with other swingers on a one-to-one basis and build ongoing relationships.

Swinging can be a wonderful way to explore kink, bring your fantasies to life, and so much more, so decide what that looks like to you.

Start your journey by setting some boundaries and ground rules with your partner.

Would you like to be present and involved while your partner’s engaged with someone else or not? Will you be exploring encounters with the opposite sex, the same sex, or a combination of the two? Are there any acts, situations, or potential partners that constitute hard limits for either of you?

Reinvent Yourself With Swinging in Mind

While it’s true that there are lots of approaches to the swinging lifestyle, keep in mind that it’s almost always about realizing fantasies to one extent or another. This is especially the case if you like the idea of attending parties or visiting lavish, colorful swingers clubs at any point in your adventures.

Confidence is an important part of getting the most out of the experience.

The same goes for the way you decide to carry yourself when you’re in full-on swinger mode. Most swingers invest a great deal of time, effort, and creativity in their look. Many even create one or more personas to adopt when they’re swinging. Remember, this is a wonderful opportunity to explore some of your wildest fantasies, so don’t be afraid to let that extend to who you are sexually as well.

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Where Should You Start When You’re New?

Although no one’s going to stop you and your partner from jumping into swinging head first by hitting a club or signing up for a swingers cruise first thing, most people prefer to ease into things a little.

The internet is an especially great place to explore the possibilities of swinging as far as what’s involved, as well as look for your first partners.

Try signing up for an account on a website, dating app, or hookup app that caters to swingers. Spend some time putting together a profile that accurately describes who you are and what you’re looking for from the swinging lifestyle. Include plenty of photos as well. This is something you can do along with your partner, separately, or both, so decide what sounds best to the two of you.

Take the Next Steps

Once you connect with someone you like, don’t feel the need to jump straight into sex the first time you meet up. Many couples and individual swingers like to get together first on a purely social level, just to make sure the chemistry is right, and everyone is comfortable before getting right down to business.

After you’ve gotten a few encounters under your belt, you may find you’re ready to check out a swingers club, a party, or other event.

A few Google searches will let you know what’s available in your area, as well as get you prepped on what the protocol is for each possibility. Remember, pull out all the stops when it comes to your party persona, and have a blast!

Matt Manes

Matt Manes

I am the original creator of the Mixxxer hookup app which became one of the most popular hookup services on the web.

Over the years, I've observed and learned a great deal about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dating and hooking up online.

While most guys learn through trial and error, I learned through analyzing the data from the millions of Mixxxer members we catered too.