Everyone can relate to the experience of a first date. Whether it’s filled with butterflies, awkward pauses, or electric chemistry, the conversation can be the make or break of the experience.
To be sure your first date conversation flows smoothly and avoids potentially uncomfortable topics, heed the words of motivational speaker Les Brown:
“Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”
While there a lot of great subjects you can converse about on a date, there are some topics that are best avoided. To help make sure you keep your first date conversation light and fun, here are the top 10 things to avoid talking about on a first date.
There are certain topics of conversation that can quickly kill the ‘mood’, and discussing religion is one of them. It should be avoided in most situations.
Do you really want to remind your beloved of all those boring Sunday school lessons about abstinence and self-control?
Stick to topics that bring a twinkle to their eye or words that make their heart skip a beat – it’ll be much more enjoyable for everyone!
Politics can often be a touchy subject, so it’s best to avoid it on a first date and when in unfamiliar company. Whether the person is uninterested or on the opposite side of the political spectrum, broaching this topic could cause negative reactions.
Talking about current events and politicians can be divisive, so why not focus on something that both parties can agree on? After all, connecting through a shared interest is far more likely to lead to something romantic than ruffling feathers with hot-button political conversations.
3. The Weather
Weather is oftentimes nothing more than a small talk tactic. Unless you are in an area at heightened risk of natural disasters like tsunamis, there’s really no use discussing forecasts and temperatures.
It’s not newsworthy – it’s just dull and outdated!
Even worse, trying to talk about the weather can lead to disappointing, anticlimactic conversations that end without any real point ever being made.
To avoid these scenarios, having some exciting topics up your sleeve is key!
4. Your Childhood
When conversing with adults, it is usually not a great idea to dwell on childhood events. While your mother may have been proud of that award you won in the third-grade spelling bee, your date likely isn’t as interested in how well-trained you were at age four.
Sure, past successes can be impressive but focusing too much on nostalgia isn’t going to take things in an adult direction. It’s important to recognize that life has moved on and what matters now is what potential you are striving for today — this is far more engaging conversation than any tale from days gone by.
5. Your Family
On a first date, try not to go into too much detail about your family – unless of course you have an especially interesting connection to them.
While she may be curious to learn more about your roots and upbringing, it can easily paint the wrong picture of you if overdone.
Instead of being seen as a potential romantic partner, she may come away with the image of you stuck in a conventional family dynamic; something which is typically associated with younger people.
Don’t forget that this is all about making yourself stand out from the crowd, so focus on what makes YOU different!
6. Your Exes
It goes without saying that bringing up your ex on a first date is a total no-no.
Your date doesn’t need to know about how your last relationship ended, or the details of why things didn’t work out.
It’s best to make sure any topics related to any prior partners are kept off the table until you get to know each other better and can handle such conversations with more maturity.
Not only could these stories potentially leave a bad taste in your mouth, but they could also bring down the overall mood of the evening. Remember – you’re there for an enjoyable time!
When it comes to dating, everyone knows to avoid talking about sex on the first date.
For some it’s a matter of keeping an aura of mystery and not wanting to seem too forward. For others, they simply don’t want to bring up any potential disagreements or uncomfortable topics that could ruin the mood.
Regardless of why it is so important not to broach the subject, the point remains – discussing sex should be avoided until much later in a relationship when both parties are comfortable with each other.
If you just can’t help yourself, then it’s always best to start slow and gentle when it comes to talking about sex since too much intensity could quickly ruin the mood for either of you.
Instead of jumping straight into more intense topics on your first date, try making each other laugh with some funny yet tasteful jokes or stories. Doing so will help put both of you at ease and open up the door to having an open discussion in a casual way.
Money is another area best left undiscussed when first meeting someone; after all, even if you manage to stay away from connoting anything negative about an individual’s financial situation (which is difficult!), money issues can still bring tension into the conversation that no one needs on a first date.
Whether it’s talking about what kind of car they drive or what brands they wear – try to steer clear from these potentially sensitive areas altogether and save them for future dates down the line (if necessary).
Unless she’s a fan of the gothic lifestyle, avoid talking about our mortality. It can be depressing, and there’s no need to bring down the mood when you’re together!
Aim to make her feel like your time together is priceless, that you two are immortalized in each other.
That way, you could always be a part of her life and memories forever!
10. Work Stress
Work stress should definitely be avoided as a topic of conversation on the first date.
It’s inevitable that work will come up in any conversation, but discussing certain particular topics can make the date feel more like a job interview instead of a fun night out with someone you’re interested in getting to know.
If the entire hour-long talk revolves around how hectic things have been at your workplace lately, it won’t do much for building chemistry between the two of you. Instead, focus on something more lighthearted and ask questions about their interests– not about their commute or deadlines.
11. Health Issues
Health is an incredibly sensitive topic and should be approached with caution on a first date. It can be uncomfortable for the other party if you suddenly start discussing your health issues or the kind of exercise routine you practice.
Try to stay away from such topics on a first date and instead focus on getting to know each other. If you mutually decide to discuss health at some point, make sure to respect the other person’s privacy. Ask politely and wait until you have built a certain degree of trust between each other, as this shows that you understand the gravity of the situation.
Avoid pressuring the other person into talking about such topics as it can make them uncomfortable. Instead, try having a light-hearted, safe discussion about healthy habits you both might practice.
This will be a great way of learning more about each other’s lifestyle without making the other person feel uncomfortable.
12. Jokes That Might Be Offensive
A good joke is always a nice conversation starter, but some jokes can be inappropriate and offensive.
If you are both not familiar enough to know each other’s sense of humor, it might be best to avoid making any jokes that could potentially make the other person feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.