Whether you’re only interested in hooking up right now or are ultimately looking for something more serious, sexual chemistry is an absolute must. It can be hard to explain and even harder to identify in the first place though, especially when dealing with someone you’ve only just met.
Here we’ll go over everything you need to know about sexual chemistry if you’re serious about making better connections, having better sex, and just plain getting more out of the dating process. We’ll cover some surefire ways to identify potential sexual chemistry even if you’ve only just met someone. We’ll help you figure out what to do about it as well.
What Is Sexual Chemistry Anyway?
In a nutshell, sexual chemistry is that “X factor” that draws you toward another person. It’s that tingly feeling that surges through your system when you lock eyes with someone new or unexpectedly brush up against someone attractive in the midst of a crowd. Whether you’re looking to fall in love or really just looking to get laid, it’s what gives you the urge to take things one step further, strike up a conversation, and see what happens next.
Although no one really knows what sexual chemistry actually is, there are certainly some theories out there. Many experts think it’s your body’s primal understanding of a compatibility your mind can’t yet comprehend. Others think it’s your subconscious picking up on body language cues from the other person and reacting in a way that feels natural. Whatever sexual chemistry is or isn’t, it’s something you either feel in your gut or you don’t.
How to Detect Sexual Chemistry Early
Of course, knowing sexual chemistry is important is pretty simple. Actually determining whether you and a potential match truly have it can be a little tougher. Keep an eye out for the following signs and signals when you’re around someone you’re curious about. The more of them you can spot, the higher the likelihood that you’re sexually compatible on a carnal level and the casual sex you’ll have will be better!
- They sit or stand angled in your direction. True sexual chemistry is a two-way street. If it’s really present, the other person will be feeling it as well, so check out their body language for clues. When you’re sitting or standing together, do they naturally seem to angle their body toward you or away from you? If it seems comfortable and natural for them to face you when you’re talking, sitting, or standing together, the chances are pretty good that they’re sexually attracted to you.
If they make it a point to face the same direction you are when you’re standing or sitting and they don’t really look at you when you address them or attempt to interact, that could indicate a lack of attraction on their part. They may just be shy or nervous though, especially if you’re on a first date, so be sure to look for other signs as well.
- Eye contact feels natural and comfortable. Eye contact is just as important as body language when it comes to assessing sexual chemistry. Does the other person seem to feel comfortable locking eyes with you and holding your gaze? And how does eye contact feel to you – second-nature or weird and uncomfortable?
As with body language, eye contact can be difficult if you’re just nervous around someone you’re truly attracted to, but it’s still a good indicator one way or the other. If neither of you seems to become more comfortable with it as your interaction continues though, that’s a pretty clear signal that the two of you have little to no chemistry.
- Touching also feels really natural. Sometimes it takes effort and a fair amount of nerve to reach out and touch someone you feel attracted to. Other times, touching just comes naturally – so naturally that you can’t seem to stop doing it. When that’s the case, it’s a pretty clear-cut sign that the two of you have awesome sexual chemistry.
Again though, it’s got to be mutual. Watch for signs that they feel compelled to touch you or be physically close to you as well. If it seems like they’re happily taking any excuse to connect to you on a physical level and you feel the same way, that’s definitely the magic of sexual chemistry at work.
- You move together in a fluid and intuitive way. How do things go when the two of you are walking, dancing, or doing anything else together that involves body movement? Do you instinctually seem to read each other and move in unison or do things feel awkward and forced? If you move together fluidly in a way that feels unified without your having to think much about it, it’s definitely a sign that there’s chemistry.
People that move together instinctually in this way are hyper-aware of each other’s body at all times without really having to think about it. Now think about how a connection like that would probably play out in the bedroom.
- Your instincts seem to be totally on point. We’ve all been told to go with our gut a time or two over the course of our lifetimes, right? Of course, sometimes that strategy works out well and other times it doesn’t. Pay attention to how dialed in your natural instincts seem to be when you’re in the presence of someone you’ve got your eye on. How those little moments play out can tell you a lot about the actual chemistry you have with the person.
If you feel compelled to take the person’s hand or move in for a kiss, how correct does that instinct turn out to be? Do they react as if they’ve been longing for you to do exactly that or do they recoil in obvious surprise? If your natural instincts seem to be leading you exactly where you want to be, it’s a wonderful indicator of sexual chemistry. If not, don’t blame your instincts. It’s a lot more likely that the chemistry just isn’t there this time.
All things considered, there’s always going to be a learning curve at work when you’re dealing with a new potential sex partner, either for quality casual sex or otherwise. Sometimes one or both people really are just nervous or some other really obvious issue keeps getting in the way. However, chemistry is the type of thing that is either there are it isn’t. If it’s there, your instincts will steer you in the right direction. If not, don’t sweat it. Chemistry isn’t the kind of thing you can force, but you’ll always be able to tell it’s there by paying attention to your natural inclinations in its presence.