‘Size Matters’ …Or Does It? The Truth About Penis Anxiety
Dispelling Myths About the Perfect Penis & Unrealistic Expectations From Porn
Come on, admit it! You’ve measured your dick with a ruler before! We all have, there’s no shame in it. But it’s the reason we’re measuring it in the first place that’s become the problem.
Men have an unrelenting and unfair pressure put on their penises. They are expected to always perform perfectly, to have great stamina, to be a certain size, and to always please their partner. It’s a lot of pressure for something that’s supposed to be fun!
If you haven’t already realized it, men have some seriously fucked up expectations of what their dicks should be able to do.
Society tells us that there is one way to have a good time in the bedroom, and that is by having a giant penis. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, many men are so concerned with the size of their penis that it causes anxiety and they miss out on the true joys of sex.
They are anxious, stressed, and even self-hating. This is because they believe that they have to live up to an unfair, and frankly, unrealistic standard.
Gents, it’s time to break free from these chains and start enjoying sex for what it is – a fun, pleasure-filled activity, not a competition.
We spoke to several men about the unrealistic expectations they face and discuss why most of them are bullshit.
Introduction: Unpacking the Anxiety Around Male Sexuality
When it comes to sex, men are under a lot of pressure. They are expected to be the ones who initiate it, to be good at it, to last a long time, and to always be up for it.
Add to that the pressure of having to live up to society’s unrealistic expectations of what a penis should look like and be able to do, and it’s no wonder so many men are dealing with sexual anxiety.
For some men, this anxiety manifests as performance anxiety. They are so worried about not being good enough that they can’t relax and enjoy the experience.
For others, it manifests as body dysmorphia, often leading to avoidance of sexual encounters altogether. They believe that their penis is not up to par and that they will be rejected if their partner finds out.
These are both valid concerns that need to be addressed. However, it’s important to remember that most of the pressure is coming from unrealistic and unfair expectations.
The “Normal” Penis: There’s No Such Thing, They Come in Every Shape
“When you watch online porn, as almost every young healthy guy does, I’m being bombarded with images of giant, straight, perfect penises. I feel like my penis doesn’t measure up,” says James, 27.
One of the main issues is that there is no such thing as a “normal” penis. Every guy is different.
Some are straight and some are curved. In reality, most penises have a slight curve to them.
Some are thick and some are thin. But the average girth of man’s penis is only 3.5 inches.
And some are long and some are short. The average length of a man’s penis is around 5 inches.
The list goes on.
This is something that a lot of men don’t realize, and it leads to penis anxiety believing that they are somehow defective. They see other guys and compare themselves, thinking that they are the odd one out.
This is completely untrue. There is no such thing as a normal penis, so stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace the fact that you are unique and that your penis is perfect just the way it is.
The Truth About Size: Size Doesn’t Matter, It’s How You Use It
One of the most common penis anxiety amongst men is that they are not big enough. The average penis size is 5 inches, but guys often believe they need to be far larger than that to make sex enjoyable. This simply isn’t true.
In one study, a large sample of sexually active women were surveyed to find if there was any truth to the size matters argument. They discovered that only 1% found length to be a very important factor when it came to enjoying sex, while 21% found that girth was more important.
One man we interviewed, Kevin, had this to say:
“It doesn’t matter how big you are, it’s all about how you use it. It’s all about confidence. You might have a 2-inch dick, but own it! If you believe you’re a stud, then you’ll be a stud. It’s that simple.”
This is a great attitude to have. Too often, men focus on the size of their penis and forget that there are other things that matter much more.
For example, confidence is a key ingredient in good sex. If you don’t believe in yourself, then your partner is going to have a hard time getting into it. But if you’re confident and you know how to work what you’ve got, then you’re going to be just fine.
The Pressure to Perform: No, you don’t have to last all night
“I think the biggest pressure I feel is to last a long time,” says George, 34. “If I don’t last a long time, then I fear my partner thinks I’m not into them. When it’s actually the exact opposite. I’m so into them that I can’t contain myself!”
George is not alone in this. Many men feel the pressure to last for hours on end, regardless of whether their partner is enjoying it or not.
It’s a proven fact that the average man lasts between 5-7 minutes. And that’s perfectly fine! In fact, it’s more than enough time to get your partner off if you are doing things correctly.
“I think a lot of men feel like they have to go all night, and that’s just not realistic,” says Jessica, 25. “I’d much rather have shorter, more intense sex than something that lasts all night. Our vaginas can only take so much pounding and rubbing before it becomes uncomfortable.”
Contrary to what most men believe, most women would prefer a shorter session if it means that they can actually reach orgasm while not rubbing their Vajayjay raw.
So, why do we have this pressure to last all night?
It’s likely because of porn. We’re constantly bombarded with videos of men who can go for hours without getting tired. This is completely unrealistic and puts unnecessary pressure on men to perform.
The truth is, sex is not a marathon. It’s not about how long you can last; it’s about enjoying the ride. If you’re both having fun, then you’re doing it right.
Staying Erect: Why it’s not always as easy as it looks
Erections are funny things. Sometimes you’re rock hard and ready to go, other times you just can’t seem to get it up. It’s not always as easy as it looks, and that’s something that society doesn’t seem to understand.
For a lot of men, the pressure to perform is all too real. They feel like they have to be hard as a rock, every single time, no matter what the situation is. This is an impossible standard to live up to.
It’s important to remember that an erection is a complex process that involves both physical and psychological factors. There are a lot of things that can affect it, both internally and externally.
If you’re feeling anxious or stressed, it’s going to be difficult to get hard. This is because your body is in fight-or-flight mode, and it’s not going to be focusing on getting an erection.
There are a variety of other factors that can affect your ability to get and maintain an erection, including:
- Certain medications
- Alcohol
- Drug use
- Fatigue
- Stress
- Relationship problems
But guess what, if you communicate well with your partner, they will understand.
The best thing you can do for performance and penis anxiety is relax and let things flow naturally. If you’re having difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, check out these tips on erectile dysfunction and how to fix it.
Giving Your Partner an Orgasm: More Than Just Penetration
Contrary to popular belief, giving your partner an orgasm is not all about penetration. In fact, for many women, penetration is not even the most important part of sex.
It’s all about foreplay. It’s about being present, being in the moment, and focusing on your partner. It’s about exploring their body and finding out what pleases them.
For some women, that might be penetration. But for others, it might be clitoral stimulation or oral sex.
The point is, every person is different. And what makes one person orgasm might not work for another. So it’s important to experiment and find out what your partner enjoys.
