“How Big Is Yours”: Is Size Really That Big a Deal?

It goes pretty much without saying that sexually available people want to appear as desirable as possible to anyone that might happen to be looking and let’s face it, for guys, that almost always means embellishing a little bit when it comes to cock size. We adjust it so it looks its best when we’re wearing something revealing like tight briefs. We probably exaggerate at least a little when it’s time to tell a guy on a hookup app how big it is as well.

But is cock size really that big a deal? Is bigger really always better? Most importantly of all, why aren’t more guys engaging in honest, candid “real talk” about the size of their trunks? Let’s take a closer look at the answers to those questions and others like them.

The Truth About Penis Size

If you’re packing a penis under those jeans, then it’s pretty much a given that you think “bigger is better” and it’s not hard to see why. That idea is very firmly entrenched as far as our thinking as a society – so much so that most men never even think to question it. We grow up sneaking glances at other guys in the locker room gay man with big dickwondering how well we really measure up. Those of us that feel we need help in that department have probably even considered wearing wonder-jock underwear at some point as well.

Aesthetics are an especially big concern for gay men looking to date. In fact, the standards we place on ourselves and each other when it comes to our bodies aren’t unlike the ones women have been dealing with forever. We just plain want to look good, not only for ourselves, but for potential easy gay sex partners and romantic interests as well. Wanting to meet that ideal of having a huge package is pretty normal given the circumstances, but the fact of the matter is that’s never going to be reality for most of us. Keep your concerns in perspective by considering the following facts:

  • If you’re not hung like a porn star, you’re not alone in the least. According to the Journal of Urology, the average penis is only about 3.5 inches long when flaccid and 5.1 inches long when erect. Very few men are actually built like the guys you see in most porn films.
  • In the grand scheme of things, penises don’t vary as much in size as you might think they do. Even when a guy does differ from the norm, it’s usually only by an inch or two.
  • Being blessed with an unusually big one isn’t all fun and games. Common complaints from unusually well-endowed men include difficulty buying clothes that fit, partners that complain of painful sex, and the fact that hiding a surprise erection is next to impossible.

It’s also important to understand that worrying about penis size is more or less something every guy does. Guys that are smaller or merely average worry that they’re too small. Guys that are large honestly do worry about being too big.

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5 Widespread Dick Myths You Might Still Believe In

Now that you know you’re most likely perfectly normal in the size department, it’s time to take a look at some more widespread myths about dicks. Are you guilty of believing any of the following?

1. Every guy wants a guy with a big one.

We’ve established the fact that the average penis really isn’t anything like what your favorite porn clips would lead you to believe. But what about what gay men are really looking for in a partner? They all totally want guys that are a big deal downstairs if they have any choice in the matter, right?

Actually, no. While it’s definitely true that some guys really are size kings and prefer hooking up with well-endowed men, it’s not true across the board. Some guys honestly prefer smaller men and the vast, vast majority are perfectly satisfied with something average. At the end of the day, it’s less about the penis and more about the person it’s attached to – especially if that person is confident and knows how to make good use of whatever size penis he has.

2. If you want a guy with a big package, look for one with big feet.

Like “bigger is better”, we’ve all heard “you know what they say about guys with big feet” a time or two in our lives. We should really stop listening though, because it’s not true either. Penis size doesn’t actually correlate to the size of any other body part with any consistency and yes, someone actually went out of their way to find out for sure.

In 1993, a couple of doctors in Canada got 63 men together and took measurements. They then compared penis size to not only the size of the men’s feet, but their overall height as well. They didn’t find much of a connection between those factors at all. Another study performed in 2002 performed a similar study on 104 men and found zero connection whatsoever. If you want to know how big a given guy really is, you’ll have to check him out in the flesh sometime.

3. Certain races and nationalities have bigger cocks than others.

No matter how educated or learned they might be, there are still a lot of people that firmly believe all black guys have huge cocks (to name just one race-based belief about size). And if you’re wondering whether anyone’s also studied any possible correlation between race or nationality and penis size, you’d be correct.

In fact, several studies have collectively determined that there’s more fiction than fact to this very persistent assumption that race and dick size are related. Still more research shows that the average size of a man’s erect penis is pretty consistent from country to country as well (about 5 inches or so). In other words, most guys are more or less the same downtown no matter where they come from or what their ethnic background might be.

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4. A guy should produce buckets of semen when he cums.

Anyone that’s watched much porn is no doubt very familiar with the sheer amount of semen the average porn actor seems to be able to produce. That said, it’s not hard to see why a lot of guys are just as insecure about the size of their load as they are the size of their actual penis. They often think there’s something wrong with them or wonder whether they’re as virile as the guys in the pornos they love.

As impressive as porn stars can be in this regard, the average guy only produces about a teaspoon of semen per orgasm. Yes, some guys do naturally produce a lot more on average, but that’s really a matter of genetics, not actual virility. If you don’t personally happen to orgasm like a porn star (and most of us don’t), you can officially stop worrying that you’re somehow not as desirable or normal as you should be.

5. If you’re not happy with your penis size, there are pills and creams for that.

The desire to be the proud owner of a massive cock is hardly a new thing. Men that aren’t happy with their size have been trying to make their penises bigger for literally hundreds of years. There have also been more than a few pills, creams, and magic potions along the way that promised to make a penis bigger. Surely, one of them must actually work, right?

Actually, no. As convenient as that would be, none of those countless supplements, lotions, or creams for sale can actually do what they’re promising. (In fact, some of them can do a lot more harm than good, so it’s best to steer clear.) Even the world-famous Viagra only improves blood flow and helps with achieving or maintaining a nice, hard erection. It does not actually make the penis itself bigger.

Learning to Love Your Length

At the end of the day, we’re only human. As a species, we’re always going to struggle with body image issues and worry whether we’re as attractive as we want to be from a sexual standpoint. However, that hardly means we can’t learn to love and accept ourselves regardless.

At the end of the day, thinking that a big dick is required in order to be considered sexy and desirable is like thinking only thin, super-fit guys are hot. Yes, appearance counts for a lot when you’re looking to hook up, but it’s not the be-all and end-all. As cliché as it might sound, personality actually does count for a lot. So does actually knowing how to make the most of what you’ve got, no matter what size it is.


Rob West

Rob West

I worked with Matt to build several hookup apps for gay men, including Guyhop.

I've been in the scene for several years now. Eternally single until I find "him".

My background is in marketing and psychology, which gives me a unique perspective on the LGBTQ dating and hookup scene.