Pretty much no one feels their best when they’re fresh out of a breakup, and with good reason. Even if you were the one who ended things, an entire chapter in your love life is still coming to a close. That’s never something that feels good.
But what if it really were true that this was all for the best? You may not be ready to look on the bright side right now, but it’s still a good idea to consider how a breakup can lead a person to become the best possible version of themselves. Here are a few to keep in mind.
You can finally get on that life reboot
When you’re in a relationship – even one that’s healthy and positive – you can’t simply do whatever you want when it comes to your life. Even if something you’re considering – like a career change – is strictly a personal decision, you still need to consider how it will affect your partner before moving ahead with things.
A breakup, whether voluntary or not, gives a person a chance to circle back and reconsider opportunities that are suddenly back on the table again. This makes the period right after one a great time to start building that dream life you couldn’t seriously consider pursuing before.
You can rediscover yourself
Being in a committed relationship with another person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t know yourself or practice healthy self-love. But it goes without saying that a lot of your emotional bandwidth will be focused on your partner, and that’s as it should be.
Being single again is the perfect excuse to be a little selfish on a level you haven’t been able to be in a while. So dive back into your self-care routine, take up that new hobby you’ve been wanting to try, and do whatever it is you’ve been longing to do – shamelessly and without apology.
You can play the field a little
Not everyone is ready to get back out there right after a breakup, and it’s honestly probably best if you do wait a while to explore another serious connection with someone. But some people actually get over breakups best by seizing the opportunity to date around a bit, hook up with a few people, and just plain have a good time.
So if you’re the second type, there’s no need to apologize for it. You’re a free agent now, and there’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of that – especially if you know embracing casual dating helps you get over someone. Just be honest with those you date if you’re not interested in anything serious, and stay safe if you decide to hook up.
You can reinvest in other connections
When you’re seeing someone, it only stands to reason that you spend the bulk of your free social time with them. They’re your go-to pick when you’ve got tickets to an event, and you naturally spend a lot of your downtime with them, as well. And again – that’s as it should be, as plenty of quality time spent together is essential in relationships.
But many people find their other relationships can suffer a bit, especially if their partner isn’t as independent or lacks social connections of their own outside their primary relationship. So why not reinvest in some of those connections now that you’re single again? Make those guys’ nights that used to be so much fun regular occurrences again. Or spend some much overdue quality time with your parents and siblings. Chances are they’ve really missed you.
Your next relationship will be better
Complex relationships, bad breakups, and heartbreaks can seem like the end of the world while they’re happening to you. But once you’ve had a chance to heal and reflect on things, it’s not uncommon to realize you’ve learned some valuable lessons that will help you make wiser choices better suited to you next time.
You now know much more about what you do and don’t need in a partner or want in a relationship. And if your relationship was a good one, you likely walked away with some new interests, viewpoints, and takes on life under your belt, as well. All relationships are potential learning experiences that create better people if they’re open to positive change.
Ultimately, it goes without saying that breakups absolutely suck and can come with a lot of pain. But they don’t have to be experiences that are 100 percent bad across the board. Instead, they can turn out to be positive in many ways, especially once you’ve had time to process things and heal from any heartache.
So don’t be afraid to make the best of things and focus on the positive aspects of what’s happened. One day, you’ll be glad you did.