If you’ve recently been through a tough breakup, you don’t need to be told that it can be one of the most hurtful experiences ever. And the longer and more important the relationship, the harder it can be to figure out how to get over a breakup. Especially if it was entirely the other person’s idea, leaving you with no say in the matter. It probably feels like there’s no real end in sight to the pain at times.
However, it’s essential to realize that it only feels that way right now. Eventually, you will bounce back and feel more like your old self again. But in the meantime, it can be healthier and more helpful to focus on loving yourself, growing as a person, and embracing some new experiences to help the process along.
1. Talk about your breakup with your friends.
Even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes, you need an outlet for some of the things you’ve been feeling, especially if you’re having difficulty moving past them. You might be surprised just how helpful it can be just to talk, let out some of your feelings, and hear some warm words of support in return from someone you care about.
So get together with a trusted friend or family member. Either accept an offered invitation from them or reach out to them yourself. You can stay in and talk, of course, but sometimes it’s more therapeutic to get out, even if it’s just for a cup of coffee. And if you don’t quite have it in you to talk to another person yet, try processing some of your feelings by journaling.
2. How long does it take to get over a breakup?
It can be tempting to sit around and ruminate over what happened when you’re dealing with a recent breakup. You wonder what you could have done differently or whether there was anything you could have said to make the person stay. And while this is a normal part of the process to some extent, you don’t want to stay stuck in that sort of thought loop for too long.
Instead, look for ways to distract yourself. Don’t sit around doing nothing all by yourself, and definitely steer clear of social media, especially if you know it will be hard not to use it to figure out what your ex is up to. Instead, pack your social calendar with fun things to do. See your friends. Go be social and mingle with fun people, especially people who didn’t know your ex. It helps. You’ll see.
3. Make yourself a priority again.
Although relationships can be great for what they are, even the good ones often find you losing at least a little bit of your sense of individuality. You start prioritizing interests your partner shares while shelving those they simply don’t understand. Over time, you make more and more decisions about your appearance, personality, and even your professional life with your partner in mind.
That’s where there’s a bit of a silver lining to a breakup. You finally have a chance to rediscover yourself again, and making the most of it can really help the healing process. Dive back into hobbies you stopped prioritizing because they weren’t your partner’s thing. Go out and get that trendy haircut or tattoo you put off because your ex didn’t like the idea of it. Think of something you’ve always wanted to try, and jump in feet first. The best way to deal with a breakup is to focus on the relationship that matters most – the one you have with yourself.
4. Look on the bright side.
Although it may not be easy to see it that way at first, there’s always an upside to something like a breakup. Keep in mind that healthy relationships that are good for both people involved don’t end like that, so a nasty breakup is a sign that something was wrong. So do your best to figure out what the silver lining is. You can even make a list if that’s easier.
Maybe your breakup left you more time and energy to pour into your career, your friendships, or your relationship with your family. Or perhaps you’ve noticed yourself becoming more confident, causing you to realize just what a drain your ex-partner was on your self-esteem. Sometimes it’s hard to see the ways someone just isn’t good for us until they’re no longer around. The same goes for valuable lessons a relationship might have taught you about yourself or about what you need from a partner.
5. Get back out there when you’re ready.
Although it will likely be a good long time before you’re ready to get into another relationship, there’s no reason you have to be all alone (unless you want to be, of course). Many people find one of the best ways to get over someone specific is to get under someone else. So if you suspect that might be the case for you, too, don’t be afraid to engage in some casual sex when you feel ready to start connecting with other people again.
The key to success here is to keep things no-strings-attached, so be honest with anyone you meet about only being interested in casual encounters right now. Try meeting people in many different ways, including at any social events you might decide to go to. Opening an account on a dating platform specifically for casual encounters can be a great way to make sure any people you meet are on the same page without having to over-explain yourself. So enjoy yourself, meet some cool folks, and engage in some orgasm therapy.
Of course, these aren’t the only steps you can take to start getting over a breakup that’s had a hold on you for too long, but they’re great places to start. Just focus on what’s fantastic about life, and have a good time. Before too long, you’ll see that there really is life beyond even the worst breakups.