If you’re the sort of man who keeps striking out with women, then you probably don’t explicitly need to be told. Why don’t women like me? Well, maybe you’re that guy who constantly winds up in the friend zone and wonder how to make girls like you. Or you might just be constantly left wondering why you’re always attracting the wrong women instead of the kind you’re actually attracted to.
Whatever the case may be for you, the good news is that you’re not simply born under a bad star. When it comes to other people – women included – there are always reasons behind why they react to you the way that they do. And there are simple ways to fix them, too. Here are some possibilities to consider.
1. You’re too needy.
Even independent women love to feel desired, valued, and considered by the men in their lives. But they don’t like feeling smothered or clung to. So if you’ve ever had a woman tell you you’re too needy, clingy, or insecure – especially if it’s happened more than once — it’s probably time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself about some things.
Do you obsess over the women you date or pursue, texting and calling them constantly? Do you expect the girls in your life to reassure you constantly as to their love or attraction? Do you tend to be jealous of other people, things, and interests women have in their lives? If so, it’s time to work on those things.
2. You’re financially unstable.
Many men instantly jump to the conclusion that a woman who’d rather not date a man who’s poor, unemployed, or otherwise financially unstable must be a gold digger. But while gold diggers do exist, most women actually just don’t want to have to take care of the men they’re dating. If the woman of your dreams wanted a little boy to take care of, she’d be looking to become a mom, not a girlfriend.
Plus, not having any direction or ambition isn’t a good look on anyone, especially a man. Being perpetually poor, unemployed, or underemployed tells a woman you don’t care enough to improve yourself or try to give yourself a good life. And if you don’t care about giving yourself a good life, what kind of life can she expect you to give her?
3. You’re not confident enough.
Everyone loves to be around vibrant, energetic, charismatic people who know how to light up a room. This definitely includes girls, so be honest. Do you light up a room and take the lead, or do you tend to hide behind other people while they do it? If it’s the latter, it’s time to work on your confidence.
And no, no one is saying you need to be extroverted, as extroverted isn’t the same thing as confident. However, you do need to learn to take the lead and make the first move when it’s warranted. At the very least, you need to cultivate enough confidence to approach women, talk to them, and ask them out. So work on becoming more comfortable existing in your own skin and taking up space in the world, in general.
4. You’re self-centered.
Of course, a lack of confidence isn’t always the problem with a particular guy. Sometimes it’s the opposite issue – overconfidence, self-centeredness, or even outright selfishness. Self-absorption isn’t a good look on anyone, but it’s a quality women especially dislike in the men they date.
Try to be more mindful about how you talk and what you talk about. Take care not to dominate the conversation by talking about yourself while failing to ask your date anything about herself. She wants a chance to speak and be heard, too. And don’t concern yourself with your own needs to the exclusion of other people’s. Women like confident men, sure, but they also want those men to be considerate of (and interested in) others. If you’re self-centered and wonder why don’t women like me, that’s why.
5. Your actions don’t match your words.
Integrity isn’t just an attractive quality to have. It’s a must if you’re serious about appealing to any type of woman, especially those who have lots of other options to choose from. So be honest. How are you about not only talking the talk but also walking the walk?
Do you make promises you know you can’t keep, figuring it won’t matter as long as you have a good enough excuse? Do you flake on the commitments you make to other people? Do you say you have one set of values but act in direct opposition to what you believe in? No one likes that in a person, least of all girls.
6. You don’t take care of yourself.
Chances are you’re not terribly attracted to women who don’t take care of themselves or put any effort into how they look. So why would a beautiful, put-together woman want anything to do with a man who doesn’t take care of himself? No one’s saying you have to live your entire life dressed to the nines, but you need to put some effort into things.
Pay attention to hygiene, and make an effort to smell nice. Take care of your hair, skin, and body. Work out, and eat right. Cultivate a sense of personal style that you can dress up or down according to the occasion. How you choose to present yourself to the rest of the world says a lot about you. Make sure it’s sending the message you want the women in your life to have.
At the end of the day, being the type of man women are attracted to isn’t rocket science. It mostly boils down to being a quality human being, both inside and out. So think about the men in your life you admire or who always seem to get the girl. What are they doing that you’re not? Learn from them, and apply what you learn to yourself. You’ll be turning heads in no time.