Prostate Massage 101: Why It Rocks and How to Blow His Mind with It

Women aren’t the only ones out there with a hidden sweet spot capable of delivering earth-shattering orgasms. Men absolutely have one too – the prostate gland. Also, sometimes called the P-spot or the male G-spot, the prostate doesn’t just feel good when it’s properly stimulated. It can give a man the sort of deep, penetrating orgasm that changes lives.

That said, if you’re a guy that’s into other guys, you’ll definitely want to learn how to give (and receive) a proper P-spot massage… but how do you do that? And what exactly is a prostate anyway? Let’s go over everything you need to know to start giving the gift of toe-curling prostate orgasms like an absolute boss.

What Is the Prostate Gland?

Despite its ability to give a guy a seriously satisfying orgasm, the prostate actually has a biological purpose that’s about more than pleasure. It’s a small gland located between the penis and the bladder. It’s about the size of a walnut and is responsible for secreting the fluids that protect, nourish, and house a man’s sperm.

It’s also what’s responsible for squeezing the ejaculate it creates (along with the added sperm) into the urethra during orgasm and out of the body. This is exactly why stimulating the prostate leads to such ridiculously strong orgasms. You’re basically encouraging it to make its owner cum extra hard!

Prostate Stimulation 101

Most guys that are familiar with the P-spot, as well as with why someone would prostate massage toywant to learn how to stimulate it, are aware that the easiest, most effective way to reach it is through the anus. That said, you’ll need to overcome any fear or dislike of “butt stuff” you may have if you’re serious about doing this properly.

You don’t have to go in terribly deep though – only about two inches or so. However, as is the case with any sort of sex play that involves the anal area, you do want to know what you’re doing before you just dive in. Keeping the following tips in mind should help.

  • Choosing the right position can make all the difference between a P-spot massage that really rocks and one that doesn’t quite deliver or – worse – is actually uncomfortable. For best results, have your guy lie on his back. (Using a couple of pillows to elevate his legs and hips a bit as well will help him stay comfortable.)
  • Understand that prostate massage is just like any other sort of play that involves anal penetration. The recipient of your massage really needs to be relaxed in order for it to feel good to him. Being really, really horny certainly helps, so plenty of super-hot foreplay is recommended.
  • Prostate massage feels best when plenty of good quality lube is part of the mix. (A thick, silicone-based personal lubricant made specifically for anal play is the best choice.) Start your massage by pouring generous amounts of your product of choice into your hands and sensually massaging your partner’s cock and balls to get him good and aroused.
  • Make sure you include his perineum (or taint) – the sensitive patch of skin between his penis and scrotum. As you may know, this area is highly sensitive and packed with pleasure-conveying nerve endings. It’s also right there in the neighborhood of the P-spot. Gradually move the focus of your massage to his anus when you’re both ready.
  • If needed, add a little more lube to your finger and his anus. Then gently press your fingertip against the opening until you feel it start to relax. As you do this, use your other hand to keep working his cock. Not only will this help him stay aroused, but if he’s nervous about being penetrated, it will also help distract him from what your other hand is doing.
  • Going slowly so your partner has ample time and opportunity to relax into things, push your finger into his anal canal a little at a time. Start by going in one knuckle deep. Once he’s relaxed enough, go in further until you’re two knuckles deep (or about two inches).
  • Now you’re in prime position to actually locate his prostate. Feel along the top wall of the anal canal until you hit a walnut-sized protrusion. (It’s actually shaped a little bit like a walnut as well.)
  • Stimulate the P-spot by bending your finger the way you would if you were gesturing to someone to “come here”. Do it softly, slowly, and gently at first. Gradually turn up the dial on the speed and intensity of what you’re doing until you’re using relatively firm pressure. Be sure to respond to any feedback your partner may be giving you at this point as well.
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These are the basics of stimulating the prostate, but as with any other type of sexual stimulation, different guys are going to like it different ways. The “come here” method detailed above usually works the best when it comes to actually making him orgasm, but it’s definitely OK to experiment until you touch on what works for you and your partner.

Also, while it’s not as effective as a method that involves penetration, it is possible to stimulate a guy’s P-spot without it. Try feeling for his P-spot through his perineum using long, firm presses. (Be careful not to scratch him with your fingernails.) Some people also have good luck kneading the area, as if they were working biscuit dough. Vibrators can feel really nice when used to stimulate this area as well.

Rules to Keep in Mind

Now that we’ve got your basic technique covered, it’s time to talk about some additional guidelines to keep in mind so that your prostate massage experiences are always pleasurable and appreciated. The following are some excellent ones to start with.

  1. Make sure he’s comfortable with it first.

Yes, prostate massage feels amazing on a level that’s positively life-changing for a lot of guys. However, every guy’s different when it comes to how they feel about anal penetration. Even gay guys aren’t always into it, so never just put a finger inside him without knowing for a fact that he’s down with it. You could wind up hurting him, to begin with. If he’s not into anal penetration, you could also wind up really pissing him off.

That said, it should make sense to discuss it beforehand to see how he feels. (If you’re in the heat of the moment and feel like doing it on a whim, ask him first.) If he’s not familiar with the idea of P-spot stimulation, explain it to him and tell him why you want to do it to him – because you want to make him feel good.

  1. Start making manicures a priority.

Whether you’re looking to stimulate your guy’s prostate via penetration or not, fingernails are a really serious concern. This is a really sensitive area that doesn’t respond well to being scratched or feeling stabbed, so if you’re not already into manicures, it’s time to change that.

Obviously, long nails are a no-no, so get in the habit of wearing yours cleanly, closely trimmed. Make sure you stay on top of issues like hangnails, rough cuticles, and broken fingernails. Be mindful of any jewelry choices that might get in the way as well.

  1. Make cleanliness an even bigger priority.

Although one would hope your partner doesn’t need to be told it’s important to keep the backdoor area nice and clean, you’ll definitely want it to be before you attempt to give him a prostate massage. If you’re comfortable actually asking him to make sure he bathes thoroughly first, feel free.

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If not, try suggesting the two of you kick off your romantic encounter with a nice hot shower or a romantic bath. Enemas are never a bad idea as well if you both want to make sure he’s extra clean, but ultimately not absolutely necessary.

  1. We were serious about that lube.

Of course, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so adding a good personal lubricant to the mix isn’t optional. Skip it and we can just about guarantee your P-spot massage will be painful and uncomfortable for your partner.

lube products

Which lube you use is ultimately up to you, but silicone-based products work best. They also last the longest so you won’t have to constantly interrupt the action to add more. There are plenty of extra-thick jellies and lubes out there that are made specifically for anal play, so definitely give them a try.

Once the both of you have gotten used to the basics of prostate massage, feel free to keep experimenting. Try different ways of stimulating it and explore further with the ones that feel best. There’s a wealth of prostate-focused sex toys out there you can try as well. (Toys can be an especially effective way of locating and stimulating the prostate on yourself.) Explore them all to the fullest and enjoy the boost it will undoubtedly give your sex life.

Rob West

Rob West

I worked with Matt to build several hookup apps for gay men, including Guyhop.

I've been in the scene for several years now. Eternally single until I find "him".

My background is in marketing and psychology, which gives me a unique perspective on the LGBTQ dating and hookup scene.