It goes without saying there are lots of benefits to taking the casual approach to your sex life. You get the sex, fun, and connection you need without the pressure to maintain a relationship you might not want or be ready for. It’s a convenient way to get laid when you’re dealing with a busy lifestyle and crazy schedule, too.
But sex within the context of a long-term relationship really does have at least one advantage over hooking up. In a relationship, you talk openly about sex and eventually get feedback you can use to upgrade your bedroom game – something that rarely happens when you maybe only hook up with someone once or twice. That said, here are some hookup etiquette rules every guy could stand to take heart.
1. Practice good condom manners
Birth control and sexual health are concerns men and women both need to prioritize. But the average woman already goes through a lot to prevent pregnancy – like taking birth control pills every day or remembering to show up on time for a shot. That said, it’s greatly appreciated and shows good hookup etiquette when the guy takes it upon himself to bring condoms to the party (and be willing to use one without being asked).
A willingness to dispose of the used condom discreetly is also a huge plus. No one likes having to scrape a crusty used condom off the carpet the next day or worry about their roommates seeing one hanging out right at the top of the bathroom wastebasket.
2. Care about your partner’s orgasm
A lot of guys who are into casual sex have a passing interest at best in whether or not their partner fully enjoys herself. They’ll treat her to sex that lasts a minute and a half before asking her whether she came, or they’ll offer to go down on her only to give her a few half-hearted licks before deciding it’s their turn.
So, it’s pretty easy to set yourself apart in all the right ways in this regard. Care about getting your partner off and making sure she has a good time. You’ll ensure she fondly remembers you for a long time to come.
3. Be a good host
When it’s your turn to host a casual sex buddy or a hookup partner at your place, don’t do what most guys do and throw basic courtesy to the wind. You don’t need to roll out the red carpet or anything, but you should treat them the way you like to be treated when you’re someone else’s guest.
Offer them a glass of water or a snack when you’re done having fun. If they’re staying the night, ask if they need anything in order to be comfortable – like an extra blanket or pillow – and then offer them breakfast or coffee in the morning. If your roommates are home when you both arrive, treat everyone to a quick introduction. You get the picture.
4. Don’t rush the person out the door
Unless the two of you actually agreed beforehand that your hookup partner will be leaving the premises without a word immediately after the condom comes off, avoid making the person feel like you’re practically shoving them out the door. It’s fine not to want to hang out all night, but it’s not cool to be rude about it.
If you’re genuinely in a hurry because you need to work early the next day or really just don’t want to make it an all-night thing, go to their place instead. Then you can just bounce whenever you’re ready without making anyone uncomfortable or turning anything into a big deal.
5. Don’t give them “the talk” right after sex
You know the one – the whole spiel where you tell the person you’ve just hooked up with that you’re not looking for anything serious the minute you come up for air after getting it on. If the two of you met somewhere that might leave room for interpretation as to your probable intentions – like work, school, or through a close mutual friend – it’s more polite (and better hookup etiquette) to talk that out before you hook up.
Otherwise, it’s highly unlikely your hookup partner is expecting more than a one-off good time. Most people who want something serious aren’t out there hooking up with people after meeting at a bar, in the club, or on a hookup app. It’s also not very 2022 to assume someone is just because they’re a woman.
Ultimately, hooking up and being socially astute aren’t mutually exclusive concepts. So, if you really want to rock someone’s world after treating them to a hookup with you, be courteous, be considerate, and treat people the way you’d want them to treat you if the shoe were on the other foot.