How to Go the Distance and Last Longer in Bed

So, you’ve just closed the deal with the hottest woman you’ve seen in a long time. You’re about to hook up, and you want to bring your best performance to the table. The last thing you want is to cum before things really have a chance to get moving. Next to not getting it up at all, it’s every guy’s worst nightmare.

Thankfully, you don’t have to just cross your fingers and hope for the best. You can turn yourself into the sexual dynamo you know you can be and train yourself to last as long as it takes to satisfy your partner. Here are some tips to start with.

Get comfortable speaking up.

You’re not the only person who hopes your encounter goes well and has you both seeing stars. Your partner wants this to be good for you, too, so don’t be afraid to communicate in a way that helps that happen. If something she’s doing is too intense for you, say so. If you want her to do something differently, ask her to. If you want to try something else, speak up.

Shift the focus to your partner.

If you seriously can’t get your mind off of how close you are to cumming, try taking the focus off of you and putting it squarely on her for a while. Rock her world with some oral or whatever other fun activity comes to mind. She’ll have the great time in bed she deserves while you enjoy some much-needed time to collect yourself and get your bearings.

Know your positions and your angles.

Every guy has an easier time holding it together in some positions than others, but it takes experimentation to figure out which ones. If you’re inexperienced, take notes on how stimulating new positions are so you know whether or not they’re to be avoided when you’re trying not to cum too quickly. Try different rhythms, tempos, and angles on for size, as well. Then choose strategically when you’re extra-serious about lasting as long as you can.

Keep up with your Kegels.

Contrary to popular belief, Kegels aren’t just for the ladies. Men have a pelvic floor, as well, and building yours up can help give you more control over how quickly you cum when you’re getting it on. If you don’t know where your pelvic floor muscles are, think of the ones you’d use to hold back a pee stream when you’re using the toilet – that’s them! To do Kegels, clench and release those muscles. Aim for three sets of ten Kegels a day to help you last longer in bed.

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Play with your toys.

If you’ve never tried having sex while wearing a cock ring before, you might want to pick one up and experiment a little. At their most basic, they’re stretchy silicone rings you wear around the base of your cock when you’re hard. Not only do they help you achieve and maintain some of the biggest, hardest erections of your life, but they make it easier to control yourself in bed. Take yours for a trial run during a solo session first to get a feel for the difference. Then you’ll know what to expect when it’s go time with a date.

Practice the art of orgasm denial.

Speaking of things you can do on your own time to boost your staying power when it counts, try getting comfortable with orgasm denial during your solo sessions. Practice bringing yourself up to the brink of orgasm and then stopping right before you go over the edge. Repeat this process as many times as possible until you absolutely can’t anymore. It’ll eventually become easier and easier to pull yourself back from the brink in bed with a partner.

Make sure you’re wearing a condom.

If you’re having casual sex, one-night stands, or both regularly, you should be using a condom as a rule anyway. But just in case you’re not, here’s a great reason to make it a regular thing – most men find condoms help them last a lot longer in the sack. If you’re already wearing condoms and still have trouble in the control department, try upgrading to a thicker brand and seeing how that works for you.

Examine possible root causes.

If you try all of the above and still have issues, get to the bottom of the problem so you can address it permanently. Are you taking medications that may be affecting the way your body performs sexually? Is there something specific going on in your mind that might be making the problem worse – like performance anxiety, to name just one example? If you think it could be a medical issue, it may be worth speaking with your doctor. The sooner you get to the heart of the problem, the sooner you can get back to performing the way you want!

Matt Manes

Matt Manes

I am the original creator of the Mixxxer hookup app which became one of the most popular hookup services on the web.

Over the years, I've observed and learned a great deal about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dating and hooking up online.

While most guys learn through trial and error, I learned through analyzing the data from the millions of Mixxxer members we catered too.