Knowing you want to be seen as sexy, attractive, and desirable is easy. It’s figuring out how to actually do it that’s hard. After all, no two people are going to find the exact same qualities and features sexy. Plus, we all have at least one friend or acquaintance that gets plenty of sexual attention despite not being conventionally attractive, right?
At the end of the day, the key to being seen as a sexy, desirable person isn’t necessarily about what you have. It’s more about what you do with it. Here we’ll go over how tapping into your own one-of-a-kind brand of sex appeal is the best way to land more dates and get laid a lot more often. We’ll touch on a few suggestions for becoming the best, most desirable version of yourself as well.
1. Pinpoint your unique assets.
The qualities you think you like most about yourself may not actually be the same ones that draw others to you, so you’ll want to start by figuring out the difference. A good way to do this is to reflect on the people you’ve dated or slept with in the past, especially in regards to the compliments they’ve paid you.
Which physical assets or personal qualities have people consistently noticed about you and praised as being amazingly sexy? Maybe you have an ass that just won’t quit or a mesmerizing pair of green eyes others can’t help but notice. Maybe people have repeatedly commented on how attractive and infectious your laugh is. Whatever it might be for you, that’s definitely where you want to start focusing.
2. Style yourself however you feel best.
Confidence is a huge part of what makes a given person sexy. We’re not talking about convincing yourself that you’re hotter than everyone else on the planet either. True confidence is something that radiates from a person when they’re completely comfortable in their own skin and the best way to get there is to adopt a personal style that really suits you. Confidence is a great advantage when you’re looking to find a fuck buddy for easy casual sex, don’t forget that!
Forget what society has taught you about how a sexy person dresses and styles themselves. If skintight clothing that shows off your every curve and muscle is actually what makes you feel sexiest, then by all means wear that. Just know that it’s not required. If you feel most confident and attractive in jeans and a white t-shirt, then that’s what you should be wearing.
3. Don’t obsess over your less attractive traits.
Everyone has a couple of things they don’t particularly like about how they look. It’s also totally fine to style yourself to downplay those things. However, you don’t want to obsess over them to the point of feeling insecure. You don’t want to let your desire to hide features you don’t like get in the way of showing off the ones that make you sexy either.
Ultimately, people are going to pay more attention to your standout features. For instance, it’s one thing to wear your hair in your face because you want to play down your large forehead or big ears, but you’ll want to avoid doing it if it also means hiding exceptionally beautiful skin or sparkling eyes.
4. Pay more attention to fitness.
Getting fit and staying that way is honestly one of the most productive things you can do if you really want to boost your sex appeal. It’s not about losing weight or trying to fit society’s idea of what a sexy, attractive body looks like either. People are hard-wired to respond to signs of health and fitness in others, so getting healthy yourself is a really simple way to become more attractive.
Paying more attention to fitness is also a terrific way to feel more confident. At the end of the day, it feels good to also feel strong and to know that you’re taking good care of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the sexier you’ll start to look to other people.
5. Laugh as often as possible.
It’s not just good health that draws potential sex partners in someone’s general direction. Happiness and joy are just as magnetic. Laughter in particular is especially attractive, so do laugh as often as you possibly can and don’t be afraid to let your joy show. Laugh often even if you think your laugh is absolutely ridiculous. We promise other people don’t feel the same way, laughing actually helps a lot finding no strings attached flings with ease.
Goofiness and silliness are also great traits to play up if that’s the type of person you are by nature. When you’re around someone with a fun personality who always seems to be having a good time, it’s nearly impossible not to have a good time yourself. Happiness is positively contagious – a condition anyone would love to catch.
6. Master the fine art of eye contact.
We really can’t stress enough how alluring confidence really is. Confident people are comfortable making eye contact and not just with their partners either. They look absolutely everyone they interact with squarely in the eyes. Those who aren’t as confident look down at their shoes or quickly look away when they realize they’ve made eye contact with someone.
Ask yourself which of those two people you’re more like. If it’s the less confident type, start consciously training yourself to look people in the eye when you’re talking to them. Start with your friends and close acquaintances. Once you’re comfortable doing that, get comfortable doing it with everyone else as well. Practice makes perfect, after all! And don’t forget to smile when you do happen to catch someone else’s eye.
7. Focus on those who like you as you are.
There’s not a single person in existence that’s capable of appealing to absolutely everyone. That said, do not take it personally if someone in particular isn’t all that into you. There are plenty of people out there who are looking for someone exactly like you, so don’t waste your time and energy on the ones that aren’t feeling it.
Instead, just accept that you’re not going to be everyone’s type. If you’re outgoing and bubbly, don’t pursue people that are more attracted to shy, quiet types. Hit up eligible people that are totally looking for someone who loves being the life of the party instead. The better you become at accepting yourself as you are, the easier it will be to attract people that appreciate you for you.
8. Clean up your social media feeds.
It’s true what they say! Our social media feeds really do affect how we feel about our lives and ourselves, for better or worse. Even light social media users spend up to several hours each week scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. That can be time that helps us feel more confident and empowered or it can be time we spend feeling less than.
Are your feeds filled with models, celebrities, or acquaintances that regularly make you feel like you’re not up to snuff? Out of sight is often out of mind when it comes to social media, so consider unfollowing them. Instead, give your social media time to friends and pages that never fail to make you feel a mile high. It really does make a difference, especially over time! You’ll see that hooking up horny locals will become much easier.
9. Say goodbye to old baggage.
It’s understandable if you sometimes still feel haunted by past heartbreaks. When you really put yourself out there only to wind up hurt or embarrassed, it makes sense that it would take some time to get over it. Just make sure you’re not holding onto past baggage too tightly. It’s hard to come across as sexy, desirable, and carefree if you’re always secretly worried that history is about to repeat itself.
Instead of dwelling on past dating failures, look at them as learning experiences instead – experiences that made you stronger, smarter, and better than you were previously. Then decide you’re going to make your present better than your past by putting down the baggage once and for all. People that leave the past where it belongs are emotionally available and emotional availability is incredibly attractive.
10. Make the first move more often.
Don’t just sit around waiting for other people to initiate interactions with you. Being proactive about your dating life is the absolute best way to make sure you’re having exactly the type of experiences you want to be having. Is there someone you’ve had your eye on for a while who just can’t seem to make the first move? Step up and be the one to initiate contact instead. Just not feeling the folks that tend to approach you on Tinder? Find someone that really gets your engine revving and message them first. Most likely that’s going to be your next social sex partner for a while!
When you’re confident enough to not only know what you want, but to pursue it with gusto, your romantic life can’t help but improve. People that take the initiative are people that are seen as sexier and more attractive as well. Try it and see for yourself!