Sex is something that factors into pretty much everyone’s life. But it’s still something the average person isn’t all that comfortable being open about. As a result, most folks can only wonder about other people’s sex lives and whether something, in particular, is true of everyone, as opposed to just them.
That said, there are still a lot of misconceptions floating around out there about sex – so many that even sexually empowered people might still believe in a few of them. Here are a few prime examples.
1. “There’s something wrong with you if you’re into kink.”
Even in 2023, there’s still a strong tendency to see an interest in concepts like kink and fetish play as things that make a person deviant or abnormal somehow. But the fact of the matter is that most kinks aren’t nearly as niched as you might think, especially these days.
Most people have at least fantasized about BDSM, role reversal, role-playing, and similar things at some point. Of course, not everyone decides to explore those interests in real life, but that doesn’t make it any less normal to think about them or find the ideas erotic.
2. “Masturbating while in a relationship means the sex isn’t good enough.”
Contrary to what some people still believe, masturbating isn’t a cut-rate substitute for real sex, nor should it be seen as one. Masturbating is a natural, healthy part of being a sexual being, and this is the case regardless of whether a person is in a relationship with someone else.
And nearly everyone in a relationship still masturbates, whether they’re honest about it or not. Solo sex can be a great way to make up the difference if you and your partner have differing sex drives or turn-ons but doing it in the first place says nothing negative about the quality of your relationship.
3. “Vagina and vulva are interchangeable terms.”
As a rule, many people tend to casually refer to the entire female genital region as the vagina, even if they know that’s not entirely accurate. But the problem there is that those who don’t know much about the female body will assume it is accurate. Then they hear the term vulva later in life and think it’s just an alternative term.
Vulva is a collective term for the portions of a woman’s genitals visible from the outside (including the opening to the vagina). However, the vagina is only the canal that connects the vulva to the rest of a woman’s internal reproductive organs.
4. “Good sex always ends with an orgasm.”
Granted, orgasms are fantastic, and it’s the most normal thing in the world to want to have as many of them as possible. But who decided that sex can only be considered good if it ends in one or more orgasms for everyone involved?
Good sex is more about the entire experience than the finish. Sure, great sex often results in at least one orgasm, especially for men. But what makes it good or bad is whether the whole interaction was hot and enjoyable. Just think of all the bad sex you’ve probably had that still somehow ended in an orgasm!
5. “If you’re a guy who enjoys anal stimulation, you’re gay.”
The anal area is an incredibly nerve-rich, sensitive area for everyone, male or female. That said, having that area stimulated or penetrated can feel super awesome. (Why do you think so many women and gay/bi men enjoy it in the first place?)
Granted, everybody’s different, so anal play and backdoor penetration don’t necessarily interest every person (gay men included). But it’s a huge misconception to think that enjoying those sensations, fantasizing about them, or being curious about how anal sex might feel is what make you gay. Plenty of straight guys engage in anal play on their own or with their female partners.
6. “Watching porn will give you erectile dysfunction.”
This one might sound plausible to some, but it’s really nothing but a close cousin to believing you’ll grow hair on your palms or go blind if you masturbate. Even in a day and age that finds people becoming increasingly sex-positive, there’s still a stigma surrounding porn and those who enjoy watching it.
It’s true that erectile dysfunction isn’t always physical. It can definitely have psychological roots, either partially or entirely, especially for younger men. Porn may play into the factors that do cause it for some men, but there’s nothing about watching porn in and of itself that will destroy your ability to achieve an erection, enjoy sex with a partner, etc.
Of course, these are just a few of the many myths and misconceptions people still have about sex. But they’re among the most persistent and widely believed, so they’re an excellent place to start when it comes to debunking the lot.