The prospect of exploring uncharted territory with a new partner can be both exhilarating and daunting. On the one hand, there’s nothing quite as alluring as the mystery and excitement an entirely new partner brings to the table.
However, you naturally want to make a memorable impression that leaves the other person moaning, not groaning.
Thankfully fantastic sex with someone new is totally the type of thing you can plan for and execute to perfection. Whether you’re anticipating a first time with a would-be new relationship partner or simply want to make sure your one-night stand game is at its sharpest, keep the following tips in mind at all times.
1. Pick someone that drives you absolutely crazy.
Nothing sets the stage for a fantastic night of toe-curling, earth-shattering sex quite like natural passion. Seriously, when the person you’re about to do the deed with drives you positively nuts, it can be eerie how well the rest seems to take care of itself.
They don’t even have to drive you crazy in a good way. If you know someone to whom you’re powerfully attracted yet also infuriated by, don’t count them out. Hate fucking is definitely a thing!
Just make sure the two of you are on the same page as far as what you’re doing, especially if the person in question is someone you don’t particularly like. If it’s just a one-night stand or a tryst, make it clear.
We’re lucky enough to be living in a day and age where it’s perfectly socially acceptable to have casual sex, so there’s no need to be deceptive.
2. Do some light exercise before your date.
If you’ve got a rendezvous coming up that you’re hopeful will end in the bedroom, take advantage of the opportunity to plan ahead a little bit. A little light exercise can work wonders as a preamble to a seriously steamy night. Think something non-strenuous that doesn’t leave you sweating (i.e. yoga or light walking)!
Getting up and getting moving can help you clear your head and calm your nerves before a get-together you might be anxious or very hopeful about. It also helps limber you up just in case things do go well in all the ways you’re hoping. If your partner wants to try some seriously crazy positions, you’ll be better able to go with the flow and enjoy every second.
3. Wear something that makes you feel your best.
This suggestion isn’t just a good idea if you’re prepping for sex with a new partner. It’s a great rule to keep in mind for any time you really want to put your best foot forward.
We’re not just talking about wearing something stylish that helps you look your best, as that’s only part of the equation. Whatever you choose should also be something you feel comfortable in.
In other words, if you feel your best in silky, sexy underwear and something tailored, by all means wear that. If that’s really not you though, you’d be better off picking something a little more casual that actually allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin. “Comfortable” almost always equals “confident”.
4. Bring along a way to freshen your breath on the fly.
Again, making sure your breath is kissing fresh at all times is a pretty good rule to live by all the time, but it’s especially important when you’re about to get busy with someone new. Getting close and making out will be a lot more fun for both of you if your breath isn’t rank. Sometimes bad breath can develop without much warning though, so it pays to be prepared.
Get used to keeping some travel-sized mouthwashes or portable breath sprays on hand just in case. That way you’ll always have a way to freshen up after a meal that contained surprise garlic you didn’t expect or if nerves make your mouth unexpectedly dry.
Plus, if your hot date does wind up turning into an overnight, you’ll already have a way to nip morning breath in the bud if it rears its ugly head.
5. Don’t skimp on the foreplay.
We get it. When you’re about to get busy with someone smoking hot, it can be hard to slow down and take your time instead of rushing right into the main event. A good make-out session brings too much to the table to leave it out of the equation though.
Try drawing out the foreplay for as long as you can stand it. Not only will that ensure all parties are completely primed and ready to go for some hot sex when the time comes, but the anticipation makes things extra hot.
6. Make sure you bring along protection.
Naturally you don’t need anyone to remind you how important it is to use protection, especially when you’re doing the deed with someone brand new. However, far too many people don’t really get the importance of bringing protection.
Too many folks simply assume their partner will have it covered and they really shouldn’t, as protection is a shared responsibility.
Look at it this way. If your evening plays out as well as you hope it will and you reach a place where sex is pretty much imminent, you’ll want to know you have protection at the ready. Otherwise your choices are to either have unprotected sex (and seriously, don’t do that) or stop what you’re doing to go get some protection. Neither option is desirable or likely to leave your partner with very fond memories of their night with you.
7. Don’t be afraid to be vocal.
Keep in mind that this super-hot person you’re about to fuck isn’t a mind-reader. If they’re doing something that you like, tell them so. Definitely make it clear if they’re doing something you really like a lot.
Not only is communication one of the best ways to make sure sex is really, really great for both parties, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone that doesn’t also think it’s mega-hot.
Communication is a good thing to be comfortable with if from the other side of things as well. Not sure your partner’s going to be into something you really want to do? Don’t know if that sound they just made was one of pleasure or pain? It really doesn’t hurt to ask, so just do that.
8. Try not to worry too much about what you look like.
At the end of the day, we all question what we look like when we’re about to be intimate with someone new. Is this muffin top I’m starting to get going to turn them off? Does my “O” face look silly? Should I have spent a little more time on my landscaping job earlier?
It’s natural and normal – so much so that we can just about guarantee that the other person is mentally asking themselves the same sorts of questions.
Just don’t focus so much on what you possibly look like when you’re grinding away on this person that you can’t focus on the moment. Keep in mind that they were totally into you enough to go to bed with you in the first place. It’s highly unlikely that they’ll even notice most of the things you’re currently obsessing over.
9. Don’t focus too much on your orgasm (or the other person’s either).
No, we’re not suggesting that you don’t try to have an orgasm. Of course you should! We’re not suggesting that your partner shouldn’t be into helping you have one either. Of course they should! We are saying that you don’t want to make your big finish your primary focus to the point where you’re not really enjoying yourself.
The same goes for your partner’s orgasm. Obviously, you want to make their toes curl in a major way, but don’t take it too much to heart if they never quite get there.
It’s not a sign that you’re terrible in bed or that you didn’t turn them on. It’s actually a lot more likely that they were just nervous or had too much to drink, so don’t sweat it.
10. Don’t sweat the post-game too much either.
Don’t feel too much pressure to be a certain way or act a certain way after it’s all over either. Definitely don’t be rude, of course. A little cuddling afterwards or some engaging pillow talk isn’t just polite. It can be as fun as the main event if you did a good job of picking a sex partner you genuinely click with.
You don’t need to feel too much pressure to offer more than you signed up for though, especially if it was established beforehand that this was just a one-time thing or a fling.
On casual sex sites like Ashley Madison, this is generally a given. If you’re not comfortable staying the night, exchanging contact information, or even getting together with the person again, just stand your ground and politely decline. People tend to be a lot more understanding about such things in this day and age than you’d otherwise think.
Try it and see for yourself!