When it comes to pickup lines that actually work or icebreakers that won’t get you slapped, I usually stick to the basics like asking someone their name, giving them a tasteful compliment or making simple observation.
That way I can start a conversation and get to know them without coming across as too presumptuous.
It might not be flashy, but it’s reliable. Too many men try to rely on cheesy pickup lines that only serve to make them look silly…or worse.
A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t say it to your own mother then you probably shouldn’t say it to a woman you are trying to meet.
Here’s are my 10 favorite (non-cheesy) pickup lines that actually work.
Pickup Lines That Actually Work
Remember, simple is often best.
“You don’t look old enough to drink.”
When she answers, “I am,” you can respond, “Do you remember the times we could not wait to be old enough to drink legally, and now I love when I get carded!”
“You know, your smile lights up the room.”
You should use this line only if she has a nice smile. Women love to be complimented on their smiles.
“You have a beautiful smile, I had to come talk to you.”
If she smiles back at the compliment, follow up with a question that encourages her to share more about herself. Ask what sort of things she likes to do in her free time, or which type of people she enjoys spending time with.
This will show her you are interested in getting to know her better and can help pave the way for further conversation topics. Additionally, introduce yourself and make sure that she remembers your name by repeating it a few times during the conversation.
And make sure to keep complimenting her on her smile.
“You look like you are having fun.”
You can follow up with “What’s your story?” This line can sound upbeat and uplifting, as opposed to “You look bored” or “What’s up?” which I personally dislike.
“How was your day?”
If she responds “Great,” you could ask her what happened during the course of her day. If she responds by saying “OK,” you can probe further into what made her day not so great, empathizing in the process.
“Excuse me, do you have the time?”
(Then start a conversation about something else) This phrase is a great way to start a conversation, especially if you can make her laugh about something after.
It’s also a far safer option than “Hey, what’s your name?” as it takes the pressure off from having to come up with clever lines or witty remarks on the spot.
“Have we met before? You look really familiar.”
And oldie but goodie. For those who seek a successful pick-up line, trying to give the impression that one knows the person they are hoping to engage in conversation can be a great idea.
Give them a double take — making eye contact, then quickly looking away again, appearing as if one is trying to recall the time and place of their last encounter. You can then tell her that you must have met her before, and ask her if you look familiar to her.
If her response is an unenthusiastic “No,” you can just tell her, “You look just like a girl I went to school with” and move on.
“You seem to be the kind of person I would enjoy getting to know.”
If she responds “Yes” or “Why?” you could say, “You look intriguing. There is a sparkle of personality and intelligence in your eyes, you are not just a pretty face.”
“Do you know you look like…?”
If she says, “I’ve been told that before,” ask her whether she considers that celebrity to be a good actress, a positive role model, etc.
“Hi, I just wanted to come say hello and introduce myself.”
If she responds with a smile, introducing yourself is the logical next step. Give her your first name and ask for hers in return.
After exchanging names, you can inquire about where she is from or what interests her — this shows an interest and will keep the conversation going.
Keeping the Conversation Going
So your pick up line worked! Congrats. Now it’s time to engage with her and keep the conversation interesting.
Here are some of my favorite tips on how to keep a conversation alive:
- Keep the questions you ask open ended and avoid yes-or-no questions, so the conversation doesn’t end abruptly.
- Listen actively, ask follow up questions and provide your own insights into the topics you are discussing.
- Avoid conversation topics that can be easily misconstrued, like religion or politics. For obvious reasons.
- Mention something interesting about the place you’re at. If there’s a live band playing, for example, comment on their music and ask her opinion. Ask open-ended questions like “what do you think sets this bar apart from others?” Show interest in her responses and opinions by asking more pointed questions to continue the conversation.
- If she responds positively to your topics of discussion, start talking about yourself. Share meaningful stories or experiences that convey personal values; these will help break the ice and may provide common ground for further conversation.
- Ask specific questions about her work or other activities she’s involved in that may spark further conversation—this offers an organic way to explore her life interests without coming across as too investigative or intrusive.
- Be sure to pause often during the conversation to give each of you time to digest what is being said and respond thoughtfully — this helps show respect for her thoughts and ideas while providing opportunities for deeper connection.
- Be mindful not to monopolize the conversation; allow plenty of space between statements so each person has equal chance to speak without interruption or dispute.
- Keep an eye on body language. It’s also important to remember body language — maintain strong eye contact while speaking, as well as keep an inviting stance that encourages feedback from your interlocutor.
- When appropriate, lighten up the mood with humor – just be mindful not to come across as overbearing or insensitive with your jokes!
- And don’t forget compliments — let her know how special she is (in a polite manner)! This will make it easier for both of you feel comfortable around one another which can lead into more meaningful conversations over time.
Bonus: The Top 10 Worst Pickup Lines to Avoid
There are thousands of cheesy pickup lines out there that you should avoid, but here are some of the most misused icebreakers:
“Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.”
“If I were an operating system, your default browser would be Internet Explorer.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, how much does it cost to date you?”
“Hey, do you want to come watch me workout sometime?”
Inappropriate & stupid
“I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you!”
“Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants?”
Rude and vulgar
“My mother always told me to follow my dreams so here I am talking to you!”
Unsolicited plus nonsensical
“Let’s commit the perfect crime; I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine!”
It’s no surprise why these pickup lines don’t work — they all lack creativity and many of them can even come across as offensive or creepy if said too earnestly!
If one is looking for a successful way to break the ice with someone they are interested in, it’s best that they stay away from any clichéd lines like these and go with something more genuine and respectful instead.
This way, both parties can make sure that everyone remains comfortable while engaging in conversation with each other!