Everyone has a set of tried-and-true rules they swear by regarding what to do when they’ve just finished having sex. But just as important as knowing what to do is knowing what not to do, especially if you’re really invested in having the best possible hook-up experiences. Here are some examples to keep in mind.
1. Don’t throw away a condom without checking it
Condoms are still among the best, most responsible ways to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies, but they’re not perfect. They can (and do) break, but it’s not always super obvious when one has.
So always look your used condoms over carefully to ensure they haven’t failed. The sooner you know a condom might have broken while you were getting it on, the faster you’ll be able to act to prevent any possible consequences.
2. Don’t forget to hit the restroom
Although most people like to seize the opportunity to empty their bladders before sex, you should really be in the habit of doing so right after sex, as well. (This is especially important for women but is also a good habit for men.)
Sexual activity of any kind can force harmful bacteria up into the urethra and into the bladder, potentially leading to infection. But a quick trip to the restroom to pee after sex can help flush things out and lower the chances of that happening.
3. Don’t pick that moment to disclose crucial information
If there’s any critical information your date really needs to know about you because you’ve decided to hook up with them, they deserve to know before the sex happens. Strategically waiting to let them know until after is just an awful move all around.
If you have any STIs they should know about, a long-term partner, or anything else along those lines? Tell them before you hook up, preferably also before they’ve agreed to come home with you in the first place.
4. Don’t tell the person to leave
There’s nothing wrong with preferring the quick and dirty approach to hooking up, as just about anything goes these days when it comes to sex. Yes, this includes going your own separate ways more or less immediately after the sex is over.
But it’s just plain rude to kick the person out of your bed the minute the condom comes off. If it’s imperative that you have your space back immediately after a hookup, go to their place. That way, you can make a polite excuse about getting up early the following day before bouncing.
5. Don’t jump straight into the shower
As with kicking someone out of your bed right away and demanding they hit the road, it’s super uncool to hit the shower immediately after your hookup. Yes, cleanliness is super important, and there’s nothing wrong with liking a hot shower after a good roll in the hay.
But it could really give a date the wrong impression if you do it immediately, especially if they don’t know you very well. At least take a minute to rest, cuddle, or engage in a little casual pillow talk first.
6. Don’t immediately reach for your phone
Again, there’s nothing inherently long with scrolling through your phone while lying in bed next to the date of the evening. But again, you really want to wait a bit before doing it if you care the least little bit about not being rude.
Reaching for your phone too quickly can make the other person feel like you’re deliberately trying to block even the possibility of a conversation. It can make a person feel used, dirty, and about two inches high overall, so… resist the urge.
7. Don’t launch into a serious conversation
Of course, the other side of the “zero talking” extreme is talking too much right after or, worse, talking about the wrong things. Those blissful moments right after a good lay are a great time to chat a little bit if you’re cool with that.
It’s not the right time to bring up anything really serious, though. Yes, that absolutely includes personal matters. But heavy or divisive topics – especially politics or religion – shouldn’t be coming up either.
8. Don’t nod off immediately
By now, you’re probably noticing a partial theme here. Anything that involves ignoring your hookup partner and making them feel like dirt on your shoes should be a strict no-no in your book. This includes going straight to sleep.
Yes, you can rest. And if you and your hookup partner are spending the whole night together, you can certainly go to sleep. Just don’t immediately turn away from them, roll over, and doze off. It’s just not sexy, cool, or polite.
While you don’t need to propose marriage to someone just because you took them home and slept with them, you do need to be polite and kind. In other words, treat your partners the way you’d want them to treat you.