Hookup culture is on the rise and while bars and clubs used to be the hot spot to find a potential mate, the web has now become the most popular way to find a hookup partner. And with that popularity comes more competition among profiles.
Creating the perfect profile is now essential to having success on hookup sites. And while it may seem like a daunting task, it’s actually not that difficult.
Here are my top tips on how men can create the perfect profile for hookup sites.
Choose what kind of hookup site you want to use
It goes without saying that this is probably the most important decision when it comes to finding hookups online. There are all sorts of dating and hookup sites out there, each catering to different audiences, each having different size user bases and each offering different features.
As a founder and former CEO of one of the largest mobile hookup sites, I can confidently say that nearly all smaller, more obscure casual sex sites are shit. You know the ones I mean.
They have no branding; their homepages look like generic web templates (because they are) and odds are you discovered them through a pop-up ad on Pornhub because they aren’t even indexed by Google.
You want to stay away from these. Seriously, don’t waste your money or time. I was always surprised by how many people signed up on these types of sites.
I’ve always said that if you want improve your chances of hooking up, it’s a numbers game. And while there’s plenty of fish in the sea, they’re not spread out evenly. You need to find where the larger groups of fish are gathering.
That being said, there are only a few hookup sites I recommend. I’ve chosen them because of their size, reputation and because they were my fiercest competitors in the hookup industry. They are:
- Ashley Madison – They have over 60 million users worldwide. Even if those numbers are inflated, that a ridiculous amount of hookup prospects.
- AdultFriendFinder – They still hold the title of “world’s largest sex and swinger” community.
- Tinder & Hinge – Very popular mobile hookup apps. The only issue I have with them is they’ve drifted more towards dating than hooking up. At least on the previously mentioned platforms, there’s no ambiguity as to why a person is on them.
The One Thing You Must Do in Your Profile
Be honest and open. It should come as no surprise that many people try to be something they’re not online. Maybe they think they need to be funnier, cooler, better looking, etc. in order to get laid.
The truth is, women (and men) are attracted to people who are confident and comfortable in their own skin. So just be yourself.
Write like you talk, be honest about what you’re looking for and don’t try to be someone you’re not.
And when it comes to being open, this doesn’t mean you need to spill your entire life story on your perfect hookup profile page.
But it does mean that you should be open about your desires and intentions. What does that mean? It’s different for every person. But we always noticed that the more successful profiles on our site had bio’s that were “deeper” and more personal. More on that later.
Create a username that is both catchy and attractive
This one is usually overlooked but the username does matter. Your username and your profile photo are the first things other users will see when they come across your profile so make sure they are good!
Think of it this way, if your username is boring or just straight up creepy, do you think anyone is going to want to message you? Probably not. If your username is something like “sexyguy4u” or “hotstud69” then you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
Try to be creative and come up with something that shows a little bit of your personality and interests. And if you really want to stand out from the rest, it should make them chuckle.
For example, if you’re into music, try something naughty and funny like “DJbigdick” or “Rockhard69”. Into sports, how about “TightEnd4U”. Are you foodie, how about “Iputout4food”.
Just be creative and have fun with it!
Find a good profile picture that clearly shows your face
You may have heard the old myth that guys are more visual than girls. Well there have been many studies that have debunked this. This recent study found that both men and women had similar increases in arousal when shown erotic images, but the reasons for their arousal differed.
For men, they were more influenced by the actual sex acts portrayed, while women were more influenced by the context or the background story of the image.
So what does this all mean for you?
Well for starters, it means show your face! Not your dick! Please, for the love of God, don’t post an unsolicited dick pic on your profile.
There may come a time when taking a good dick pic is warranted, but that’s after you’ve received their consent and preferably have already had sexual relations with them.
Here’s a few tips for profile pics:
- I recommend 3-4 photos in your profile.
- A clear headshot – This should be the featured photo as it will appear in search results. Make sure its clear and avoid sunglasses or hats.
- A full body shot – A well-lit photo. Preferably not a selfie but a mirror selfie might do. Clothed or partially clothed. If you have a six pack, flaunt it! But don’t over do it.
- 2 lifestyle shots – Preferably you doing something you love or are proud of.
- If the site allows it (like AdultFriendFinder), you can post sexually explicit photos but they better be well shot with good lighting and camera angles!
- Try to smile! You’ll get far more response.
- Lighting is key to taking a great photo.
- Be unique. Browse through all of the other male profiles on the site and you’ll quickly get the idea of what not to do. You want to stand out from all those guys, so post something different.
The Ideal Profile Header
When it comes to the perfect hookup profile header, be creative, be funny and be brief. This again is different for everyone, but stay away from generic headlines like:
- “Looking for a good time”
- “Fun-loving guy (or girl) seeking the same”
- “Let’s have fun”
- “Looking for a no-strings relationship”
These headlines are yawn-inducing and won’t make anyone want to click on your profile. Be original and specific instead. Here are some better examples:
- “Wine lover looking for someone to share a glass (or two) with”
- “Sushi lover seeking fellow foodie for fun and frolic”
- “I’ll make you laugh so hard, your clothes might fall off”
- “Seeking a nude Scrabble partner”
See the difference? These headlines are attention-grabbing and specific, and they give potential matches a glimpse into your personality.
Here’s my tips on how to write a good headline:
- Think about what makes you unique and different from everyone else. What are your interests and hobbies? What kind of personality do you have? Use these things to your advantage and let them shine through in your headline.
- Be honest. Don’t try to be something you’re not just to impress someone. It’s better to be upfront and real.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. A little bit of humor can go a long way, so don’t be afraid to inject a little bit of fun into your headline.
- Keep it short and sweet.
Be creative, be unique, and most importantly, be yourself. The right person will be drawn to your headline and want to learn more about you.
Writing the perfect bio. Write a bio that is both flirty and mysterious
1. Choose a funny opener that’s personal, catchy and humorous
Your opener is your one chance to make a good first impression, so make it count. Avoid using clichéd phrases like “looking for someone special” or “nice guy looking for a good time.” Instead, try something personal and specific.
Making fun of yourself is always a good way to go – it shows that you’re confident and not taking yourself too seriously.
2. Be honest about what you’re looking for
There’s no point in beating around the bush. If you’re only looking for a hookup, say so. If you’re looking for a friend with benefits or maybe a travel companion to share a bed with. Be specific on what you’re looking for.
Are you married and looking for an affair? Probably best to mention it, but explain why you’re looking to cheat. Women want to know the story behind you.
3. Don’t be afraid to show off your personality
Your profile is your chance to let your personality shine, so don’t be afraid to be yourself. If you’re a sucker for puns, use them to your advantage. If you’re an avid traveler, mention your latest adventure.
The goal is to give potential matches a snapshot of who you are, so they can decide if you’re someone they’d like to get to know better.
4. Use your profile to start a conversation
Your profile should be a conversation starter, not a conversation ender. In other words, don’t just list your interests; use them to engage potential matches.
5. Keep it short and sweet
Your profile doesn’t need to be a novel, but it shouldn’t be a haiku, either. A good rule of thumb is to keep it under 500 words.
Any longer and you risk losing potential matches’ attention; any shorter and you might come across as aloof or uninterested.
6. Don’t be afraid to be a little naughty
This is a hookup site, after all, so it’s perfectly acceptable (and even encouraged) to be a little naughty in your hookup profile.
Just don’t overdo it. There’s a difference between being naughty and dirty.
Don’t be afraid to let your true desires and intentions be known – it’ll make it that much easier to find someone who’s on the same page.
7. Don’t overshare personal information
While it’s important to be open and honest, keep the baggage off your perfect hookup profile. Keep things light and fun, and save the more serious stuff for when you actually meet someone in person.
6. Proofread, proofread, proofread
Typos and grammatical errors are a huge turn-off, so be sure to proofread your profile before you hit “submit.” If you’re not a confident writer, consider running it through a tool like Grammarly.
What NOT to Do in Your Hookup Profile
We’ve covered what you should do to create that perfect hookup profile, and now I’m going to cover what not to do.
There’s a fine line between a profile that will get you laid and one that will get you laughed at or ignored.
Here’s a list of things NOT to do if you want to get laid:
Don’t use a cheesy pickup line as your opening message
We’ve all seen them and they never work. In fact, they usually just make you look desperate and/or creepy. So, save yourself the embarrassment and don’t use them.
Don’t lie about your age, height, weight, or anything else
Eventually, your potential partner is going to see the real you. And, when they do, they’re going to be disappointed (and probably a little bit angry) that you lied to them. So, just be honest from the beginning.
Don’t use old or blurry photos
Your potential partner is going to want to see what you look like. So, don’t use photos that are old or blurry. Also, make sure the photos are of just you. No one wants to see a group of people or your dog.
Don’t talk about your ex
No one wants to hear about your ex. In fact, mentioning your ex is a surefire way to turn off potential partners. So, just don’t do it.
Don’t be negative
No one wants to hook up with a negative person. So, try to keep your profile positive. Focus on your good qualities and what you’re looking for in a partner.
Don’t talk about your fetishes
This is a personal preference, but most people don’t want to know about your fetishes until they’ve gotten to know you better. Unless you’re on a fetish-specific hookup site, it’s best to keep this information to yourself.
Don’t be vague
Be specific about what you’re looking for and what you’re into. Vagueness will only waste everyone’s time.
Don’t be pushy
No one likes a pushy person. So, don’t try to force anyone into doing anything they don’t want to do. Just take things slow and let things happen naturally.
Don’t be a creep
This should go without saying, but don’t be a creep. Don’t send unsolicited dick pics or messages. Don’t stalk someone’s social media accounts. Just don’t do it.