If you’re a man who’s into online dating, the sheer number of possibilities out there these days can be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, there are hundreds of hot, available women out there to choose from. On the other, there are just as many single guys out there looking for the same thing you are. A lot of those guys will be better looking, smarter, or more interesting than you are, so standing out can be a real challenge. Here we’ll go over everything you need to know to get the women you want to not only take a second look at you, but be interested enough to take the next step.
Getting Started in the Right Direction
Before you can get what you want from your online dating scene of choice, you need to truly understand what you’re looking for. If you’re really only interested in casual relationships or no-strings-attached sex, don’t waste your time on interfaces that are aimed at people looking for something serious (and vice versa).
You’ll also want to set your profile up in a way that makes it crystal clear what you’re doing there. Try to put yourself in the shoes of your ideal woman. What would she likely see as a turn-on or a turn-off in a potential date? Build your profile accordingly.
To Share or Not to Share
You definitely want to make sure your profile accurately represents who you are and what you’re into, but you don’t want to overshare. Even a very interested person’s attention span is going to have its limits. No one is going to read patiently through a novel-length list of interests or a bio section that’s basically a massive wall of text.
Plus, you want to leave a little something to the imagination. Ideally, you want to let a woman know the gist of what you’re about, what you’re like, and what you’re looking for. However, you also want to leave her wanting more. A curious woman is a woman who says “yes” to a date so that she can find out more about the guy in question.
Making Your Photos Count
You already know that pictures matter when it comes to getting noticed on a dating site or a hookup app. However, you also need to know that the photos you think paint you in the best possible light aren’t necessarily also going to be photos women are interested in. In other words, you might want to rethink those fishing pics or all those shots of you posing in front of your car wearing shades.
Women like photos that clearly show a guy’s face, preferably while smiling and staring directly at the camera. Photos that spark conversation or pique curiosity are also good choices. If you’re using an interface that’s all about hooking up and casual encounters, you can show off some of your other goods as well, but it’s definitely possible to go too far on that front as well. Remember, leave a little something to the imagination. Give her a reason to want to interact with you.
Of course, catching and holding a woman’s attention long enough to get her curious is only half the battle. You’ve got to know what to do next. Originality is a good place to start for sure. Don’t use canned pick-up lines or generic messages to open a conversation. You need to show her you see her as an actual individual, as opposed to just another girl to shoot a message to. (Referring back to something unique you saw on her profile is always a good idea.)
You definitely also want to be straight with her. If she asks you a question, be polite, but definitely give her a genuine answer instead of the one you think she wants to hear. Ask her questions about herself as well. Don’t pretend to be into her if you’re not. You’re both adults. If you’re not interested, just politely say so.
Pay Attention to Boundaries
Even the most forward women don’t like it when men balk at boundaries and try to push for more than what’s being offered, so always be respectful. Keep in mind that every woman’s different. Even on a hookup app, some women are going to be down to get dirty right away, while others will want to ease into things first.
You will want to keep the end goal in mind though – offline, in-person interaction of whatever type you’re interested in. Take some time to chat a little bit first, but don’t wait too long to ask her out or suggest meeting up. Standing out online is only enough to get your foot in the door. It’s still ultimately up to you to close the deal.