What Not to Do in Bed with a New Partner

Just as there are incredible sex moments that can take an encounter with a new partner from good to legendary in an instant.

There are many things a guy can do that can have the opposite effect on his partner as well. Especially during or right after orgasm.

Even one strange moment or choice can affect how someone mentally frames that encounter forever. Especially if it’s a one-time hookup.

That said, here are a few common sexual missteps to be avoided at all costs. Are you guilty of any of the following?

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Finishing Inside a Partner Without Consent

Everyone has a preference as far as where and how they’d like their partner to finish. But even people who love it when their partner finishes inside them don’t typically want things that way with a hookup or a one-night stand.

And it’s never cool to finish inside a partner without their prior consent.

This doesn’t just go for penetrative intercourse, either. Plenty of people would be just as upset if a partner came in their mouth during oral without warning. Generally, it’s best to err on the side of caution and assume you don’t have permission to cum inside your partner unless they’ve explicitly given it to you.

Dragging Things Out Too Long

Lots of guys who secretly dream of being legendary sex gods assume that all their partners fantasize about epic marathon love sessions to go on for as long as possible. But don’t believe everything you see in the movies.

Twenty minutes is more than long enough to suit most people. And more folks than you think would prefer that it not go on longer than that. After that, even the horniest people are probably getting tired and sore.

So don’t assume shooting for an hour is going to rock their world. Not only is it not necessary, but it’s probably not desired, either.

Assuming Your Orgasm Is the End of Things

Another bad lesson movies teach guys about sex is that sex is over the minute they orgasm. While you don’t necessarily want to make your partner feel pressured to orgasm.

You don’t want to assume they’re done just because you are.

If there’s any doubt as to whether they’d like you to keep going and help them finish, you can always ask if there’s anything you can do for them. It’s also important not to pull away or roll over and fall asleep the split second you cum, either. This can make a partner feel discarded or used, which won’t exactly leave them fondly remembering you in the future.

See also  Sharing Your Polyamorous Dating Lifestyle

Refusing to Follow Directions

If you’re lucky enough to enjoy a first-time roll in the hay with someone comfortable telling you what they like in bed, embrace it for the wonderful gift it is. And by all means, listen to them and act accordingly.

They’re handing you a free cheat sheet for rocking their socks off, and all you need to do is pay attention.

Don’t be offended by it or assume you know better than they do what they should want out of the evening.

Communication is an important part of mind-blowing sex, but not everyone is as comfortable as they should be with openly discussing what they enjoy. Be grateful for partners who can do it easily.

Not Asking for Permission

Just as most people aren’t going to be cool with someone cumming in or on their body in a way they didn’t agree to first, they don’t like it when people try to blow past boundaries without getting consent first, either.

For example, don’t try to go for anal (or anything similar) without asking the person how they feel about it first.

Feel free to make the way you ask super-hot in a dirty talk sort of way. But always ask anytime it’s not clear what someone likes. Especially if you’re hooking up with someone for the first time.

Refusing to Use Protection

This just plain isn’t cool, especially if you’re into casual sex and tend to have many different partners. It’s not a good health choice for you, and it’s a bad look to try to pressure others into having unsafe sex (or any sex they don’t consent to).

Always use condoms to protect both of you from possible STIs or pregnancy. Always keep a couple on you so you’re ready to go should a great hookup opportunity present itself.

And if you do decide not to have safe sex for whatever reason, make sure you discuss birth control with your partner.

Ultimately, incredible sex that leaves your partner happy with what went down between the two of you is as much about respect, consent, and communication as it is technique.

So always keep that in mind when taking new partners to bed for great hookups every time.

Paige Davis

Paige Davis

The girl in the group. Trying to add some much needed estrogen to the Mixxxer fam.

I've been writing guides and lifestyle pieces for more than 6 years now.

I worked both in front and behind the camera in the adult film business. And I hold a masters in psychology.

You'll find there's a lot of psych majors in the adult industry. So careful guys, you may want to get into our pants, but we know how to get into your heads ;)