It can be hard to tell if a woman is interested in sex when you’re out at a bar. But there are some telltale signs that can clue you in. “Women give off a lot of non-verbal cues when they’re interested in sex,” says Gina Harris, a bartender in New York.
But unlike men, who are far more forward in their approach and wear their intentions on their sleeve, women are more subtle when looking for a hookup. “It can be harder to tell with women, but there are certain signs you can look for,” Harris says.
Here are the top 20 things to keep an eye out for the next time you’re trying to figure out if the women around you are horny and looking for a hookup.
1. She dresses provocatively
If a woman is dressing in a way that is meant to attract attention, it’s a good sign she’s looking for sex. “Women who are interested in hooking up will often dress in a more sexual way,” Harris says. This means shorter skirts, low-cut tops, and high heels. Basically, anything that makes her feel sexy.
Pay attention to the colors of the clothing too. Is she wearing a lot of black or red? These are colors that are traditionally associated with passion, sex and mystery. That can be a good sign she’s looking for it.
2. She hangs around the bar alone
If a woman is by herself at the bar, it’s a good sign she’s looking for company. “Women who are looking for sex will often separate themselves from their friends and stand alone,” Harris says.
This doesn’t mean she’s necessarily interested in you, but it’s a good sign she’s open to being approached. If you’re interested, go up and introduce yourself. If she’s receptive, strike up a conversation. If things are going well, you can make your move.
3. She’s crossing and uncrossing her legs
When a woman is sitting at a bar and she’s constantly crossing and uncrossing her legs, it’s a sign she’s feeling sexually frustrated, Harris says. “It’s a way to release some of that built-up sexual tension,” she explains.
Of course, there could be other reasons why she’s doing this – she could just be really hot, or have to pee. But if she’s also giving you other signs she’s interested (like making eye contact, touching your arm, etc.), then it’s a good bet she’s horny.
4. She told her friends
If a woman is interested in hooking up with someone, she will often tell her friends. This is a way of getting the word out that she’s on the prowl and open to talking to someone.
If you see a group of women and they suddenly get quiet when you approach, it’s a good sign they were just talking about you.
Don’t be afraid to chat up her friends to see what her intentions are that night.
5. She has a wandering eye
If you notice a woman looking around the room a lot, it could be a sign she’s looking for someone to hook up with. “You’ll often see women scanning the room for someone they’re attracted to,” Harris says. “They’ll make eye contact and then look away quickly.”
This is a way of seeing if someone is interested in her without having to make the first move. If you catch her looking at you and she quickly looks away, it’s a good sign she’s interested.
6. She’s buying drinks for people
If a woman is buying drinks for men, it’s a good sign she’s horny and looking for sex. “It’s a way of showing interest,” Harris says. “She’s trying to get their attention and let them know she’s available.”
Of course, this doesn’t mean she’s going home with the first guy she buys a drink for. But it’s a good way to start the conversation and see where things go.
7. She’s touchy-feely
If a woman is touchy-feely with you, it could be a sign she’s horny and interested in sex. “Women who are interested in sex will often find ways to touch you,” Harris says. She might touch your arm while she’s talking, or brush up against you.
This is a way of gauging your interest and seeing if you’re interested in her too. If you’re not, she’ll likely back off. But if you are, she’ll probably find ways to touch you more.
8. She’s leaning in close
Body language is a huge giveaway when it comes to whether or not someone is interested in sex. If a woman is leaning in close to you, it’s a good sign she’s horny or at least interested. “When a woman is interested in a man, she will often mirror his body language,” Harris says. So if you’re leaning in, she’s likely to lean in too.
This is also a way to gauge her level of interest. The closer she’s standing to you, the more interested she is.
9. She’s making lots of eye contact
Eye contact is important in any conversation, but it can be a particularly good indicator of interest in a sexual context. “If a woman is making eye contact with you and holding your gaze, that’s a good sign she’s interested in you,” Harris says.
It’s not just about making eye contact, though. It’s about the quality of the eye contact. If she’s looking at you with a smoldering gaze, that’s a good sign she’s thinking about sex.
10. She’s licking her lips
A woman’s lips are one of her most erotic parts, so when she’s licking or biting them, it’s a sign she’s horny and thinking about sex or highly attracted to you.
“It’s a way to draw attention to her mouth,” Harris says. “And it’s also a way to subconsciously tell you she’s interested in kissing and potentially more.”
11. She’s touching her chest
This is another way women subconsciously try to draw attention to their breasts. “Women will often touch or play with their jewelry, especially if it’s around their neck or on their chest,” Harris says.
This is a way of accentuating her cleavage and drawing attention to her chest. If she’s doing this while also making eye contact and smiling, she’s definitely interested.
12. She’s giggling at everything
Women tend to giggle when they’re nervous or excited. If she’s giggling a lot, it could be a sign she’s interested in you. “Women giggle when they’re attracted to someone or feeling flirty,” Harris says. “It’s a way to release some of the tension they’re feeling.”
However, it’s important to note that not all women giggle when they’re attracted to someone. Some women are more confident and will just directly flirt with the person they’re interested in. So, this isn’t a fool-proof way to tell, but it’s definitely something to keep an eye out for.
13. The way she plays with her hair
If a woman is playing with her hair, it’s often a sign she’s interested in what’s happening around her. “When a woman is twirling her hair or running her fingers through it, she’s usually trying to get someone’s attention,” Harris says.
This is a relatively subtle way of flirting for women, but it’s still a good sign she’s horny and interested.
14. She’s rubbing her thighs
Another way to release sexual tension is to rub your thighs. This is a pretty common thing for women to do when they’re turned on, Harris says. “It’s a way to subtly let someone know you’re interested,” she explains.
If you see a woman rubbing her thighs, it’s a good sign she’s feeling horny and looking for sex.
Of course, there could be other reasons why she’s doing this – she could just be really hot, or have an itch. But if she’s also giving you other signs she’s interested (like making eye contact, touching your arm, etc.), then it’s a good bet she’s horny.
15. She’s standing in a suggestive way
When a woman is leaning against a wall with her legs slightly apart, it’s a sign she’s ready to get physical, Harris says. “It’s a way of showing off her body and signaling that she’s open to being approached,” she explains.
So if you see a woman standing like this, and she’s giving you the other signs on this list, there’s a good chance she’s interested in sex.
16. She’s talking about sex
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If a woman is talking about sex – especially in a flirty or suggestive way – it’s a good sign she’s thinking about it. And if she’s thinking about it, there’s a good chance she wants it.
17. She’s being overly flirtatious
If a woman is being overly flirtatious with you, it’s a sure sign she’s interested in sex. This means she’s touching you a lot, making sexually suggestive comments, and perhaps even making a move or two.
Flirting this way is a woman’s way of saying, “I want to have sex with you.” And if she’s doing it with you, it’s probably because she’s hoping you’ll pick up on the signal and make a move.
18. She’s talking dirty
If a woman is talking dirty to you, it’s a pretty clear sign she’s interested in sex. “People usually only talk dirty to each other when they’re sexually attracted to each other,” Harris says. So if she’s saying things that are making you blush, she’s probably trying to turn you on.
If she says something like, “I’ve been thinking about you naked right now,” she’s definitely looking for sex. But even more subtle things can be sexual – like if she starts talking about her fantasies or what she likes in bed. This is her way of gauging your interest and seeing if you’re on the same page.
Of course, some women are just naturally flirty and talk dirty all the time, so it’s important to pay attention to the context. If she’s only talking dirty to you, and not to other people at the bar, it’s a good sign she’s interested.
19. She’s propositioning you
If a woman is coming right out and asking you for sex, it’s a pretty clear sign she’s interested. This doesn’t happen all that often, but it’s definitely a possibility.
So, if a woman starts talking about how hot you are or how she wants to take you to bed, it couldn’t be much clearer than that!
20. She’s putting her hand on your knee
A lot of times, women will touch you in a way that they want to be touched. So, if she’s putting her hand on your knee, it’s likely she’s hoping you’ll put your hand on her thigh.
It’s a way of saying, “I want you to touch me in a sexual way,” Harris explains. Of course, she could just be friendly. But if she’s also giving you other signs she’s into you, then this is a green light to take things to the next level.
