7 Tips for Picking Up Women Even If You’re Seriously Introverted

No introvert needs to be told that, while introversion has its perks, being a social dynamo who picks up women effortlessly isn’t really one of them. This is especially the case in classic social venues like bars or clubs.

Key Takeaways

  • Dress to impress and make a great first impression when meeting women.
  • Learn to read women’s subtle signs of interest.
  • Rejection is part of the process, so don’t take it personally.
  • Avoid getting drunk, and make your move early.
  • Avoid pick-up lines and be yourself.

Easy charm and a natural knack for conversation are often the keys to success in situations like those, and it can take time for an introvert to master those. It’s not impossible to succeed in the meantime, though. Here are some tips for getting started in the right direction.

1. Dress like a boss

Successfully picking up women is less about flawless conversational skills and more about making a great first impression in general.

One easy way to do that without saying a single word is to put some effort into how you dress and style yourself when you go out hoping to meet women.

Part of dressing like a boss is all about nailing the basics – choosing good quality clothing, making sure it fits you well, and so forth. But the rest is about standing out in a way women can’t resist.

So don’t be afraid to let a bit of your unique personality show through in your look.

2. Know how to read women

So many men complain about how difficult women are to read when it comes to social situations, but they shouldn’t.

What they fail to realize is that most women are socialized differently from most men, so they’re less straightforward and a lot more subtle.

Even a very interested woman probably wouldn’t be caught dead blatantly checking a man out, and very few women approach men.

Instead, they’ll look at men they like repeatedly, hang around close by when there’s really no reason to, or make eye contact. Those are the women you’ll have the most luck approaching.

3. Never take rejection personally

Socializing and approaching women for potential dates takes a lot of effort for even the most confident introverts, so accepting rejection can be difficult.

Getting even a polite rejection from a woman it probably took a lot for you to approach can feel personal, but it’s essential to realize it’s not.

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You can increase your chances of success by focusing most of your effort on women sending clear signals that they’re interested, but even that isn’t exactly failsafe. Rejection is simply part of the experience when picking up women in public and can’t be avoided, so don’t sweat it.

4. Don’t get drunk

Having a couple of drinks over the course of the evening is really part of the experience of hanging out at a bar, party, or club. And if you’re introverted or have trouble approaching people for dates or otherwise, it can help make the whole process a little easier to manage.

You don’t want to make the mistake of getting drunk, though. First of all, no woman finds the experience of being hit on by a visibly intoxicated guy enjoyable.

It’s tedious at best, if not borderline scary. Second, being textbook drunk is a great way to start making decisions you’ll regret, so be careful.

5. Make your move early

If you think you’ve got an interested woman on the hook early in the evening, don’t wait hours and hours to make your move. Just go for it sooner rather than later.

If she is interested, that will be just fine with her. And if she rejects you, you at least haven’t blown your whole evening and can explore other possibilities.

Making an earlier move is also an excellent way for introverts to avoid building a dating situation up too much in their minds. The longer you wait, the more likely you are to suddenly become anxious or nervous over the possibility of rejection.

6. Say no to pick-up lines

It doesn’t matter how witty or irresistible you think some pick-up line you found online is. Don’t use it. Women don’t like pick-up lines or respond to them as a rule.

You’re much more likely to strike up an interaction by acting casual, just like you would when interacting with a stranger at any other time.

For example, you can say hello to a woman whose eye you catch while standing at the bar. Or you can make an offhand comment about how crowded it is or how great the music is and see how she responds. Just act natural.

7. Be yourself

So many introverts mistakenly think their true personality isn’t likable enough, and they’re wrong. Believe it or not, interested women want to see the real you when you approach them, so always be yourself.

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Being yourself is easier by far than trying to build and maintain some false reflection of who you think a woman wants you to be. It’s also much more likely to get you results, so don’t be afraid to try it.

Paige Davis

Paige Davis

The girl in the group. Trying to add some much needed estrogen to the Mixxxer fam.

I've been writing guides and lifestyle pieces for more than 6 years now.

I worked both in front and behind the camera in the adult film business. And I hold a masters in psychology.

You'll find there's a lot of psych majors in the adult industry. So careful guys, you may want to get into our pants, but we know how to get into your heads ;)