If the idea of trying to meet your next fling by chatting up random women at the bar, the grocery store, or the gym really leaves you cold, you’re in excellent company. Lots of guys find the process of determining who’s actually available (not to mention interested) to be tedious. Others simply don’t have the time or the patience to spend weekend after weekend club hopping in the hopes that they might run into someone special sooner or later.
That’s where online dating comes in. On an online dating site, you already know that everyone there is available, looking, and at least open to the idea of clicking with someone new. You’re no longer stuck limiting yourself to people you run into by chance either. Even so, there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about the process. Keep the following tips in mind during the process to really maximize your chances of finding what you’re looking for.
1. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
There’s a reason why everyone from your mother to your favorite self-help guru has repeatedly told you to “be yourself”. In the rare event doing otherwise actually works, it doesn’t work for long. Not only will your potential date be disappointed when she finds out you really aren’t who you said you were, but you’re robbing yourself of the experience of being genuinely appreciated by someone who genuinely digs what you’re all about.
That said, don’t lie, exaggerate, or otherwise fudge the truth. Have you gained a little weight or lost some hair over the years? Just own it instead of hiding behind photos from ten years ago. More interested in casual sex right now than anything else? Don’t pretend to be out there looking for a long-term commitment, use an actual hookup app to meet others looking for the exact same thing.
The fact of the matter is, whoever you are and whatever type of relationship you’re looking for, you can rest assured that there’s some awesome chica out there looking for exactly the same thing, so it actually pays to just be honest. At the very least, you’ll save yourself a lot of embarrassment and eventual awkwardness.
2. Figure out what kind of person you’re looking to meet.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people dive right into online dating without really thinking about it. Ask yourself the following questions about what you’re really hoping to gain from the whole experience.
- Are you looking for someone your own age or would you prefer someone younger or older than yourself?
- Is it important to you that your dates share certain interests and values of yours or are you open to dating someone really different from yourself?
- Does the person need to be local or are you open to exploring a long-distance relationship if you met the right person?
- What kind of relationship are you looking for – casual or committed, monogamous or non-monogamous? Are you looking for someone to possibly marry and have children with or are you just looking to have a little fun?
You’ll also want to be honest with yourself about what personal qualities you need a person to have before you can feel interested. Do you like homebodies or social butterflies, curvy girls or athletic women, driven career types or domestic goddesses? Figure those things out sooner rather than later.
3. Choose your dating site with care.
Modern dating sites are the very furthest thing from one size fits all. There are ethnic dating sites, sites designed just for certain age groups, and sites that cater to people with specific interests. There are dating interfaces and apps specifically for people looking for casual hookups, people interested in exploring certain fetishes, and more as well. That said, you can drastically improve your chances of meeting the type of person you’re looking for by choosing the right dating site from the start.
You’ll want to check to make sure the site you choose seems capable of delivering a quality experience as well. Is the site active with lots of members? Are those that are most active on the site active at the same times of day you are? Do most people that use the service seem happy with the results of doing so?
4. Show interest in other people, beyond physical
Speaking of how to treat other people you meet through dating services, it’s important to show interest in the other person once you do meet someone you like and start talking. Don’t dominate conversations and make them all about you. Ask people you’re interested in honest, intelligent questions about what they’re into and what they’re looking for on the site as well.
This isn’t just the best way to determine whether or not someone’s worth getting to know better in whatever way you’re interested in. It’s also the simplest, most direct way to find out exactly what you want to know about them right when you want to know it. Be sure to be direct and honest when answering other people’s questions as well.
5. Be an interesting person.
How many guys do you know that complain constantly about being friend-zoned despite not really having much to offer in the dating department? Don’t be like those guys. After all, you wouldn’t want to date a boring woman that isn’t doing anything interesting with her life and brings nothing special to the table as far as her personality, interests, values, and so forth.
Women don’t want to date or hook up with boring guys either. They want someone that actually has something to offer. You don’t necessarily have to be the most muscular, good-looking guy around or the dude with the fattest wallet. You do have to be funny, smart, spontaneous, confident, creative, adventurous, or otherwise interesting.
6. Keep an open mind.
While it’s definitely important to know what you’re looking for from the whole online dating experience, it’s also important to keep an open mind. If you’re like most people, you have a definite type that you gravitate toward more often than not. Maybe you’ve always had a thing for redheads, curvy girls, or assertive career women and that’s fine. It’s a good idea to at least be open to interacting with new types of people as well though.
No one’s saying you should date someone that absolutely repulses you. However, you probably shouldn’t write people off that interest you just because they’re not the type you normally go for. Maybe you also like brunettes, or preppy girls, or outdoorsy types. Maybe you like them even more than the redheads and curvy girls you’re used to. You won’t know unless you give people a chance. Just follow your instincts! It’s usually well worth the effort.
At the end of the day, online dating apps are a fantastic way to meet a wealth of interesting, available, exciting women that you might not know existed otherwise. Get started today! You’re sure to wind up glad you did.