Edging. You may have heard of it. I never had until I started doing research for this article. Simply put, edging is the practice of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm, then backing off — typically done multiple times in a row.
The theory goes that, if you can train your body to withstand this arousing torture, you’ll be able to last much longer during sex. Not only that, when you do finally climax, your orgasm will be much more intense.
But that’s not all. In addition to having stronger orgasms, edging has also been known to help with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. I’ll cover more on this later in the article.
What is edging?
Edging is the practice of prolonging sexual arousal by keeping yourself on the brink of orgasm. This can be done by stopping and starting stimulation, or by changing up the type of stimulation you’re using. Many people find that edging results in more intense orgasms, as well as longer-lasting ones.
To edge, you’ll need to pay attention to your body and know when you’re getting close to orgasm. Once you’re close, back off on the stimulation until you’re no longer on the brink. Then, you can start up again. You can repeat this process as many times as you like.
One thing to keep in mind is that edging can be a bit of a fine line. It’s easy to overdo it and end up going over the edge into orgasm. So, go slow and be patient. Listen to your body, and you’ll get the hang of it in no time.
What are the benefits of edging?
As I mentioned before, edging has a number of benefits — both sexual and non-sexual. Let’s start with the sexual benefits.
1. Edging can help you last longer in bed
If you have trouble lasting more than a few minutes in bed, edging can help. By bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then backing off, you’re essentially teaching your body to withstand intense arousal.
2. Edging can make your orgasms stronger
When you finally do orgasm after edging, it’s supposed to be a pretty intense experience. That’s because, by delaying your orgasm, you’re building up sexual tension — which is then released in one powerful climax.
3. Edging can help you overcome erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is often caused by anxiety. And what’s more anxiety-inducing than the pressure of performing in bed?
By learning to control your arousal through edging, you can reduce anxiety and help overcome erectile dysfunction.
4. Edging can help you overcome premature ejaculation
Like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation is often caused by anxiety. And, once again, edging can help by teaching you to control your arousal.
Now, let’s take a look at the non-sexual benefits of edging.
1. Edging can help you become more in tune with your body
When you edge, you’re essentially giving yourself a crash course in your own sexual response. You learn how your body responds to different kinds of stimulation and what kind of touch gets you closer to orgasm.
2. Edging can help you become more in tune with your partner’s body
By learning to control your own arousal, you also become better equipped to read your partner’s cues. This, in turn, can help you two find a sexual rhythm that suits both of your needs.
3. Edging can improve your relationship
Learning to control your orgasm can improve your relationship in a number of ways. For one, it can help you overcome performance anxiety, which can be a major source of stress in a relationship.
It can also help you and your partner become more in sync sexually, which can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
4. Edging can improve your self-confidence
Finally, edging can improve your self-confidence. If you’re able to overcome performance anxiety and last longer in bed, you’re likely to feel better about yourself — both in and out of the bedroom.
How to practice edging when you are alone
Edging is typically first learned and practiced solo, as it’s much easier to control your own arousal than it is to rely on your partner.
The process is pretty simple but does require a good amount of willpower on your part. Here’s a step-by-step solo edging guide:
- Get yourself aroused. This can be done through fantasies, pornography, or simply by thinking about something that gets you hot and bothered.
- Once you’re aroused, start touching yourself in a way that you know will lead to orgasm. For men, this would be stroking the penis, while for women this usually mean clitoral stimulation.
- As you’re touching yourself, pay close attention to your level of arousal. When you feel yourself nearing orgasm, back off just enough to bring yourself down to a lower level of arousal.
- Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you can’t take it anymore. At this point, you can either allow yourself to orgasm or continue to edge for even longer periods of time.
As you can see, edging solo is pretty straightforward. And, once you get the hang of it, you can experiment with different ways of touching yourself to see what gets you over the edge.
How to practice edging with a partner
First, it always helps if your partner knows what you are trying to accomplish, as they play a big part in helping you control your orgasm based on their level of stimulation.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on edging with a willing partner:
- Get aroused. Obviously, this is an important one. You may already be aroused based on the circumstances (I get aroused the minute I see a naked woman in my room). If you need more stimulation, some good foreplay never fails.
- Bring yourself to the brink of orgasm. This doesn’t have to be done through having sex. It could be through foreplay, oral sex, mutual masturbation or anything else that gets you hot and bothered.
- When you feel like you’re about to orgasm, stop all stimulation. This is where your partner comes in. If you’re having sex, they need to stop thrusting. If they’re giving you a blow job, back off immediately.
- Wait 30 seconds to a minute. This is the hard part. Once the stimulation has stopped, your body is still going to be on the verge of orgasm. The key is to try and relax during this time. Some people recommend thinking about something else entirely. Others recommend focusing on your breathing.
- Repeat steps 2-4. This is where the “edging” comes in. You’re essentially bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm multiple times in a row. Each time you do it, it becomes harder and harder to resist finally giving in and orgasming.
- Go for it! When you can’t take it anymore, let yourself go and have one of the strongest orgasms of your life.
Some Helpful tips on edging
I’ve covered the simple steps it takes to start edging, but there’s more to it than that. Controlling arousal and stopping orgasms on the spot takes a lot of metal effort, concentration and will power.
Here’s some helpful hints on how to make it easier:
It’s all in the breath
When edging, the first thing you need to do is relax. This is easier said than done, but it’s important.
Once you’re relaxed, focus on your breath. Take deep, slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
This will help you get out of your head and focus on the task at hand: not cumming.
While you’re breathing, pay attention to your body. You’re looking for the point of no return, also known as the PNR. This is the point where you’re so close to orgasm that you can’t turn back.
Everyone experiences the PNR differently, so it’s important to really be in tune with your body to know when you’ve reached it.
When you feel like you’re about to reach the PNR, back off. Slow down, or stop whatever you’re doing, and begin taking slow deep breaths.
Being mindful is all about staying in the present moment which can really help when you’re trying to control your orgasm. By being aware of how your body is feeling, you’ll be more in tune with when you’re getting close to orgasm and can back off accordingly.
There are a few things you can do to help you be more mindful. First, as mentioned before, focus on your breathing. Taking deep, slow breaths can help you relax and focus on the present moment.
You can also try focusing on your senses. What do you see, feel, smell, taste, and hear?
Another helpful tip is to focus on the pleasurable sensations in your body while not letting your mind wander. This can be easier said than done, but if you can focus on the physical sensations you’re experiencing, you’ll be less likely to get lost in your thoughts.
This will inevitably give you more control over your body and its impulse, especially the impulse to speed up when you feel an orgasm is coming.
How many times should I delay orgasm?
So how many times should you bring yourself to the edge of orgasm before finally letting go?
That, my friend, is entirely up to you. It really depends on how much time you want to spend teasing yourself — and your partner, if you’re including them in on the fun.
If you’re new to edging, start with one or two delays before climaxing. See how that feels and go from there. You can always increase the number of delays as you get more comfortable with the practice.
As for how long you should delay each time, that’s also up to you. Again, start with a shorter delay and work your way up as you get more comfortable.
A good rule of thumb is to wait however long it takes for your heart rate to slow down a bit. I would say 30 to 60 seconds.
What are the best sex positions for edging?
Now that we know what edging is and what it can do for you, let’s talk about the best sex positions for edging. When it comes to the best positions, it’s all about control. The more you have and the quicker you can stop penetration the better. With that in mind, here are three of the best sex positions for edging:
- The Prone Bone position: My favorite position. In the Prone Bone position, your partner is lying flat on their stomach. You then lie on top of them, aligning your pelvis with theirs and begin thrusting away. This position gives you 100% control of both deep and depth of penetration. It’s also super easy to pull out when you begin approaching the point of no return.
- Doggy Style: In doggy style, you are in complete control. You set the pace and depth of penetration. This makes it easy to pull out as soon as you feel yourself getting too close to orgasm.
- Reverse Cowgirl: Like doggy style, reverse cowgirl also gives you complete control. However, it has the added benefit of being able to see your partner’s face. This can help you gauge when they’re getting close to climaxing so you can back off accordingly.