Let’s be honest – we all love sex, and we all love our smartphones. They both involve exciting exploration, thrilling imagery and indulgent gratification, though it’s admittedly easier to play Angry Birds on one over the other. If your phone browser tabs include mobile dating sites or an adult dating app or two, you’ve successfully combined these two tools for personal pleasure – bravo! Unfortunately, not everyone manages to pull that off quite as easily. Though it’s sad for them, it’s pretty damn hilarious for the rest of us – here are 17 of the best sexting fails we’ve spotted:
“Getting down and dirty when your family has grown up is a challenge, but apparently so is keeping your cell phone contacts separate – whoops! Pro-tip: don’t have explicit sexts with your spouse and conversations with your kids at the same time.”
“Sexting is a really hot way to hit up your booty call, but maybe nicknames are in order if your newest erotic partner shares a name with a parent? They’ll think it’s cute and you won’t be mentally scarred for life.”
“Okay people. Can we all just agree that the eggplant emoji is the international sign for dick? This train wreck looks like the sender is describing a bout of the flu he’s particularly thrilled about!”
“This is decidedly cringe-worthy. Talk about taking the momentum RIGHT out of a hot sexting session. Yikes. If there’s one task you definitely don’t need mom’s help with, it’s this one.”
“Sometimes a “slip of the text” can actually open up communication, but this is probably not how you want to find out your parent has been snooping in your phone.”
“This guy totally blew a chance to have some kinky fun. If he ventures into local dating, he should probably aim for women that don’t like to spice things up. Or ones that like anal?”
“Talk about auto-erotica. That’s going to be a VERY awkward Craigslist meetup. You should see what he did to that guy he bought a couch from last week. Don’t sext with locals through the classifieds, kids.”
“This is a prime example of why you should never multi-task during sexting. At least it wasn’t her boss? I do like that she doubled down on it and owned it, though – you go on with your bad self, random woman!”
“Sometimes situations blow up, and sometimes they go absolutely nuclear. This is a double fail in the sexting department, and a guarantee that family dinners are going to be SUPER uncomfortable from now on.”
“Well, at least this woman looks to be having a pretty exciting marriage, though hopefully her job doesn’t require a lot of concentration. Plot twist: Laura has better snacks at her house, anyway.”
“Come on, man. Have a little dignity! If the D wasn’t good enough to save your number the first time, opportunistic sexting isn’t going to seal the deal. Desperation is pretty much never a turn on – if you’re that hard up, try an adult dating app dude!”
“Sometimes the hottest most indulgent thing of all is taking care of yourself and your body. And then waking up and taking care of yourself sexually. High thread count sheets and down alternative pillows really trip her trigger.”
“The reality of sex is that matching libidos is like trying to hit a moving target sometimes. At least she’s honest?”
“Nothing helps you find religion faster than realizing that you just sent your mom something more suited to an adult dating app than casual chit-chat.”
“You missed out, dude. Turns out she’s got a serious Crayola fetish and really wanted your “burnt umber” …if you know what I mean.”
“Local dating often means enticing prospects with sexy pictures. Double-check your numbers, though, or you could end up with a phone full of unexpected man nipple and a lot of explaining to do.”
“The DILF movement is alive and well with this gal, apparently. When you’re dabbling in local sexting with your lover, maybe turn off that auto-correct? That’s got to be a record: this conversation went off the rails in only three tiny letters.”
So, the moral(s) of these sexting fails? Be super careful and double-check who you’re sending those deliciously filthy messages to. If you don’t have a partner yet, grab one through an app for adult dating on purpose, not through your favorite contacts – or worse, your family contacts – by mistake.
