The Gentleman’s Guide to Lasting Longer in Bed

If you sometimes worry about being able to go the distance in the bedroom, you’re not alone. Although there are lots of common insecurities and sexual concerns men might have, premature ejaculation is definitely among the most common.

But thankfully, you don’t have to just live with premature ejaculation if it’s an issue for you. Here are a few tips for lasting longer in bed so you can stop worrying about your sex life and start enjoying it.

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Communicate with your partner

If you’re in a long-term relationship, a good, honest talk with your partner is an excellent place to start. Let them know that you’d really like to work on lasting longer in bed and see how they feel about that.

Asking for a partner’s support and patience helps take some of the anxiety out of the equation for you. It also gives them a chance to help you, gives you someone to talk to about your concerns, and just makes things easier all around for everyone.

Add pelvic floor workouts to your routine

Pelvic floor exercises don’t just benefit women. Men also have pelvic floor muscles, and there are many reasons to try to strengthen them. Not only do they help to support your back and internal organs, but they affect your sexual function, as well.

Among other things, strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can help you gain better control over when and how you ejaculate. To give them a workout, simply clench the muscles tight for a few seconds, relax them for another few, and then repeat. (They’re the same muscles you would use when attempting to hold in urine or gas.)

Switch positions more often

There are lots of reasons why a guy might want to get into the habit of occasionally switching positions in bed. It keeps things fresh and exciting for both you and your partner for sure. But it also gives you a chance to slow down for a moment and get your bearings so you can last longer.

Some guys also have less trouble controlling their orgasm in some positions than others, so figure out which those might be for you. Then work them into your routine accordingly as needed.

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Masturbate more often

The longer it’s been since your last orgasm, the harder it’s going to be to keep from finishing before you really want to. That said, you might want to experiment with adding masturbation to your pre-sex prep routine.

It might take a few tries to figure out how long before sex you should time your self-service session. Make it too soon, and it might be hard to perform, but waiting too long can ultimately defeat the purpose.

Practice on your own

Sex is like many things a person might want to be good at in life. Practice makes perfect, so consider making more of your solo sessions about deliberately extending the amount of time you can last before absolutely needing to finish.

Adding realistic-feeling sex toys can help make this more effective, as they offer an experience that’s more like sex with a partner than a typical self-service hand job. You can also consider bringing toys into the bedroom and using them on your partner as a way to shift the focus when you need to.

Try numbing products

Toys aren’t the only options you can use to help you in your quest to lasting longer in bed. There are also numbing products out there that can help make sexual sensations less intense and make it easier to avoid finishing before you’re ready.

Numbing creams and sprays can be applied a certain amount of time before you have sex (and then washed off just before) to make premature ejaculation less likely. There are also condoms that are treated with numbing agents on the inside to give the wearer more control in bed.

Hit the gym

If you’ve been looking for extra motivation in the fitness department, consider this. Getting into better shape likely won’t be the magic bullet that keeps you from ever finishing too early again. But it will contribute to a better sense of body awareness, greater overall control, and higher levels of mindfulness, all of which can make going the distance easier.

Plus, getting in shape and staying that way makes you stronger, more flexible, and more confident – all things that contribute to a better bedroom performance and a higher sense of satisfaction with one’s sex life.

So if you struggle with premature ejaculation (or persistent anxiety about the possibility), know that it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. There are things you can do to gain a better sense of control over your body and lasting longer in bed, and the above options are a great place to start exploring the possibilities.

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Matt Manes

Matt Manes

I am the original creator of the Mixxxer hookup app which became one of the most popular hookup services on the web.

Over the years, I've observed and learned a great deal about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dating and hooking up online.

While most guys learn through trial and error, I learned through analyzing the data from the millions of Mixxxer members we catered too.