How to Sext Better – The Top 5 Things to Know

These days, it’s all but impossible to build a relationship without communicating via text.

Especially with social distancing guidelines in place, it’s more important now than ever to master your written communication skills—and that means brushing up on your sexting know-how.

In the past few years, sexting has become more commonplace for people in both new and long-term relationships.

In one survey, as many as 88% of respondents claimed to have sexted at some point, with a whopping 82% having sexted a partner within the last year.

Sexting plays a vital role in modern relationships, and it’s important to know how to do it right.

However, long-distance communication can be a tricky area in any relationship. It requires some finesse to toe the line between flirty and forward. Read on to learn more about how to sext safely and respectfully to spice up your love life, even when you’re miles apart.

1. Consent is Key

Even if you know how to sext like a pro, you won’t get very far without proper consent from your partner.

Nobody likes receiving unwanted or unsolicited advances, even in a committed relationship. In some cases, sending sexts such as intimate pictures can even get you in legal trouble.

Always discuss boundaries with your partner before sending them any sexts. You should make sure that you have their explicit and enthusiastic consent before you start sending them flirty messages.

Ground Rules

In some cases, you and your partner may need to set ground rules around sexting to ensure everybody feels safe and comfortable with the situation.

For instance, they may not want to risk receiving risque pictures on their phone during work hours. In this case, you can limit sexting to off-work hours to respect your partner’s boundaries.


You don’t have to limit yourself to just a single conversation about consent. It’s always a good idea to check in with your partner regularly and discuss their sexting expectations.

You may even want to give them a heads up any time you plan on sending any explicit photos or messages to make sure that they’re 100% on board.

2. Take Things Slow

Nothing scares off a potential match like getting too serious too fast.

An intimate text or picture sent too early can send an entire relationship spiraling off-course.

When it comes to sexting, slower is always better early on in the game.

If you’re talking to a new partner for the first time, hold off on the dirty texts until the two of you get to know each other a bit better. It’s fine to flirt, but anything overtly sexual should wait until after you have established your relationship.

See also  How to Find a Fuck Buddy for Easy Casual Sex

Once you feel comfortable enough discussing boundaries with your partner, you can start to bring up the idea of sexting. As long as they’re enthusiastic about the idea, you have to go ahead to begin testing the waters.

Measure Reactions

It may take some practice for you and your new partner to find your rhythm. Communication isn’t always easy at the start of a relationship, especially when it comes to more intimate topics.

Start with an innocent compliment and gauge your partner’s reaction before moving on to more risque strategies.

It’s a good idea to start slow in your sexting sessions, even for those in a well-established relationship.

If your partner isn’t in the mood to flirt, you won’t end up overstepping your bounds. If they are, on the other hand, you can build up the heat as you tease them through text.

3. Time Your Texts

A sext sent at the wrong time can end up causing your partner discomfort or even embarrassment.

There’s nothing more mortifying than being on the receiving end of an intimate photo during a wholesome family dinner or an important business meeting.

You should try to time your text around when your partner is free and available. You can check with them before sending anything naughty, or the two of you can set up a weekly schedule.

Be Wary of the Hour

It’s always best to stick to daylight hours when sending sext messages. If it’s late and you’re feeling frisky, resist the urge to send anything until the next day.

No matter how hot your message might be, it’s unlikely to hit home when your partner is trying to get their beauty sleep.

If you’re in a relatively new relationship, it’s especially important to be wary of timing. Always communicate with your partners to ensure they’re ready to receive whatever you plan to send.

You may even want to ease into sexting sessions to gauge your partner’s reaction. If they seem uncomfortable or uninterested, it may not be the best time to start sexting.

4. Get Creative

One of the most important parts of knowing how to sext is learning to set yourself apart from the crowd.

Nowadays, there’s more competition than ever for men on dating apps and matchmaking sites. As many as 40% of Americans use online dating services, and of those people, over 52% are men.

See also  Top 17 Immensely Funny Sexting Fails

While the odds might not be in your favor, a sharp wit and a sense of humor can drastically increase your odds of finding a match. In fact, dating profiles with a written bio see almost 60% more traffic than those with no information.

Show Personality

Sexting is a good way to showcase your personality to a potential partner. It can also help you see whether or not the two of you would be sexually compatible. You can safely explore your likes and desires together, even before meeting.

If you want to impress through sext messages, you need to get creative. A message they’ve seen a thousand times before isn’t likely to excite.

Instead, send them something fresh, thoughtful, and personal.

You can:

  • Recall a sexy memory the two of you share.
  • Spice things up further by adding an audio clip or a sexy photo to your message, provided you have your partner’s consent.
  • Tell your partner what you’d like them to do to you when you next see them.
  • Sext about new positions to try or fantasies you want to explore together.
  • Ask them what they’re wearing now and what they wish they were wearing.

5. Never Drink and Text

After a couple of beers in the evening, it can be tempting to fire off a sexy text to your partner. However, as with most decisions, it’s best to sext when you’re sober.

When we’re drunk, we tend to lose our inhibitions, making us more likely to give in to unhealthy or unsafe impulses.

While you may be good at respecting boundaries when sober, it can be more of a challenge to navigate tricky social situations after a few drinks. You may end up pushing your partner too far, making them uncomfortable, or saying something you’ll regret in the morning.

If you plan to have a couple of drinks, it’s best to put the phone away for a few hours. You can even enlist the help of your friends to make sure that you don’t give in to temptation and sext your partner until the next day.

In Conclusion

Sexting is a great way to maintain intimacy with your partner, even when you’re not together.

However, unwanted or inappropriate advances can end up doing your relationship more harm than good. Following the rules outlined here will help you to ensure that when you sext, you do so safely and respectfully.

Proper communication, timing, and a little bit of thinking outside the box can help you to sext like a pro the next time that you’re feeling naughty.

Matt Manes

Matt Manes

I am the original creator of the Mixxxer hookup app which became one of the most popular hookup services on the web.

Over the years, I've observed and learned a great deal about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dating and hooking up online.

While most guys learn through trial and error, I learned through analyzing the data from the millions of Mixxxer members we catered too.