There’s no denying that a great blowjob is pretty high on the average guy’s list of things that make life a little sweeter. But if you’re like most guys, you probably don’t feel like you get as many of them as you’d like. And that goes double if you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship for any length of time.
But don’t make the mistake of thinking that you have no choice but to shrug and simply accept that blowjobs are just hard to come by for some guys. There’s actually quite a bit you can do to make your partners a lot more enthusiastic about going down on you more often. Here are some tips to start with.
Give more to receive more
While it would be nice if people always gave selflessly of themselves without ever expecting anything in return, that’s just not the world we live in. People like to know that their generosity and consideration are going to be reciprocated. It makes them more likely to be generous in the future.
That said, one of the best ways to encourage a partner to go down on you more often is to take the initiative and up your game as far as how often you go down on her. Do it passionately and cheerfully without having to be asked. You can also suggest a sex position like the Golden Gate and you can both get your minds blown at the same time.
Practice good hygiene
There are way too many guys out there who complain that their partners never want to give them head while not showering regularly or bothering to keep their nether regions clean. How eager are you to go down on someone who doesn’t think bathing is necessary or make at least a minimal effort to keep things on point down there?
If you want partners to love giving you head, keep yourself impeccably clean and take a decent stab at smelling fresh. Some basic manscaping is always a nice touch, too.
Pay her lots of compliments
Women are a lot more likely to grow up receiving mixed messages about their sexuality on lots of levels. On the one hand, they’re told to be confident and own their sex appeal. But on the other, they’re often shamed for it if they do that – especially if doing so involves enjoying sex at all or engaging in certain activities (like blowjobs).
Many women may also feel insecure or like they might not measure up as far as their skill level goes, so paying plenty of compliments is a must. Make sure she knows how much you like it when she goes down on you and how great you think she is at it. People are much more likely to enjoy doing something often if they know it will be well-received.
Be willing to change things up
Sometimes there are practical reasons why someone doesn’t go down on their partner more often. For example, certain positions may be uncomfortable for some people. And others may dislike being watched while they give blowjobs, become anxious about being expected to deep-throat, or have issues with some of the sounds associated with giving head. Sex is complicated, and people may feel all sorts of ways about different aspects of it.
That said, practical issues are easily overcome by being willing to meet your partner halfway. The more accommodating you’re ready to be regarding whatever her issues are with giving lots of head, the more likely she is to enjoy doing it often.
Make it about give and take
So many guys treat their partners as if they think they’re owed blowjobs, and there’s really no excuse for that. No one owes anyone anything, and treating someone otherwise isn’t the way to make them more enthusiastic about doing for you. And even if you’re not treating your partner this way, you can bet that plenty of other people have in the past, which can make a person extra sensitive to entitled behavior in relationships.
That said, it’s essential to let your partner know what you like and want in bed – like a good blowjob once in a while. But make sure you’re not asking in an entitled way. Again, make it about give and take. Focus on also finding out what she would like more of in bed and seeing to it that she gets it. She’ll be a lot more likely to respond in kind.
Ultimately, the best thing to do if you’re unhappy with certain aspects of your sex life is to talk things out. Get to the bottom of why blowjobs aren’t more frequent occurrences in your sex life, and then address those issues in ways that make sense. A total unwillingness to give head at all is pretty rare these days, so there’s often something simple you can do to turn the tide in your favor.
