Many singles mistakenly believe that obtaining a romantic partner will bring them increased happiness and fulfillment. The truth is, you’re more apt to find genuine love and contentment if you have a feeling of wholeness within yourself.
Research has shown that those who approach their relationships with optimism, joy and contentment are more apt to experience enduring bliss together. A recent study involving over 11,000 couples analyzed many data sets to demonstrate this fact.
In essence: fostering personal growth and development often leads to increased chances of achieving a successful partnership.
Couples counsellor Christy Thompson succinctly notes that when individuals are content with their own lives, they are more likely to be open to allowing a person who is an ideal match and enhances the quality of life into it, rather than settling for companionship as a means of avoiding being alone,”
Thompson asserts that this impact not only assists in the discovery of a more suitable partner, but can also help to foster healthier boundaries within relationships as people gain higher levels of value and assurance.
She highlights that projecting a positive and confident attitude will draw people who possess similar qualities.
She notes, “When you expect a relationship to magically fix all your issues or make up for any lack of fulfillment, it can really put undue strain on the other person to make it work.”
When it comes to creating contentment in your relationships, there are some simple steps you can take that will help prepare you for finding true love.
Face the Difficult Healing Process
“Now is the time” to start addressing any lingering mental health issues, whether they’re rooted in your past or current life, according to Thompson.
She emphasizes that it’s really important to take the time to reflect on yourself and get to know who you are before seeking out any kind of relationship. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for an unfulfilling experience.
Talking with a qualified mental health professional is the most effective way to manage serious psychological issues, so if you can, it’s a great option. But if you don’t want to go that route or it’s available to you, there are other places you can investigate, such as tutorials and seminars.
Recognize your anxieties and accept responsibility for their effect on your daily life and associations.
Then, give yourself the tools to cope with these feelings in constructive ways. Think about jotting down your thoughts, doing some exercise, meditating, or focusing on your breathing.
Remember, it’s ok to take your time. Healing from difficult experiences can take a while, and trying to rush it won’t help you in the long run.
Spend Time With Yourself
Are you in the habit of treating yourself to something special? What about taking yourself out for a special evening alone? And while you are out, rather than conversing with those around you, talk to yourself. Ask yourself lost of questions, at your deepest levels.
It may seem strange, but it can be incredibly beneficial to “date” yourself.
By making time for your own needs and joys, you can gain more awareness of who you are, and how much your presence is worth to someone else.
Thompson recommends booking a solo journey as a way to strengthen this bond with yourself.
If it aligns with your values, she says, you will gain a deeper appreciation of your relationship with existence, and recognize and savor the seconds of reflection — which will become evident to another person precisely how remarkable you are.
If you can’t go away alone, there are plenty alternative methods to practice self-dating.
Instead of waiting for a date to go to that new bar or restaurant with, why not treat yourself? And at night, write a positive and encouraging message for yourself to read in the morning – this will help set a tone for the day.
Taking time out of your day to be with yourself is important too. Go on a stroll through your area, whip up an amazing meal or dive into working on something creative.
Just spending some alone time with your thoughts and really relishing in it will be beneficial when it comes time to spend time with someone.
Focus on Your Interests and Hobbies
It’s never too late to take up a new hobby. From learning a musical instrument like the guitar to playing sports like football or baseball, there are so many activities that can both enrich your life and boost your self-worth.
“In fact, it’s quite possible that love can enter your life when you’re pursuing your passions, it happens all the time,” says Thompson.
If you have wanted for some time to learn a skill such as playing the piano, or you’ve been longing for some competitive sports action, now could be a great time to get out there and make it happen.
Not only will these hobbies help improve your attractiveness to potential partners, but they will also give you the added benefit of confidence.
Engaging in activities you enjoy can bring a feeling of joy and lightheartedness into your life- especially in regards to the unpredictable and sometimes disheartening realm of dating. Taking the time to do something simply because it brings you pleasure can be incredibly rewarding.
Dedicate Time for Friends and Fun
It’s no secret that finding love and a meaningful relationship can be tough, especially if you’re single. However, specialists recommend that to maximize your odds of discovering romance, it is essential to cultivate the current relationships you have.
As Thompson suggests, “Forming strong bonds with folks of similar interests can really rev up your contentment and joy prior to jumping into a romantic relationship.”
And if you’re uncertain of how to start connecting with others, simply take out your laptop!
Vast research conducted by an abundance of dating sites revealed that individuals are leaning towards dating apps to not only find love but to also expand their social circles, meet new friends and join new communities.
An astounding 69% vouch for their effectiveness in connecting them with both acquaintances and possible partners, with a remarkable 59% having formed connections during the past couple of years.
Dating can be an intimidating experience, so remove that pressure. Rather than focusing on meeting a potential partner, view it as meeting a potential friend. Changing your perspective can make all the difference!
Let Go of Unhelpful Habits and Ideas
Navigating the single life can sometimes lead to feeling overwhelmed. To find balance, it is essential to prioritize self-care and create healthy habits.
For instance, if nighttime binges of Netflix are leaving you exhausted the next day and impacting your work performance, it is time to adjust your bedtime routine.
Additionally, if a close friend’s negative attitude is draining or otherwise damaging your mindset, then have an open conversation with them about how their actions affect you. If this fails to provide a solution, limiting interactions may be necessary.
When it comes to taking care of yourself, don’t limit yourself to what’s easy or comfortable. As Thompson advises, make sure you’re spending time with those that can bring positivity and joy into your life – if that means changing your current circle of friends then take the plunge.
Anything done in the pursuit of personal pleasure is never time wasted.
In addition, Thompson suggests these 5 healthy, simple habits that every man can start right now:
- Get enough sleep – going to bed and waking up at the same time each day helps the body regulate itself and contributes to feeling better during the day.
- Eat well – eating a balance of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains can help improve energy and stamina
- Exercise regularly – getting 30 minutes of exercise a day is one of the most important things a man can do for his health, both physical and mental
- Practice stress management – incorporating activities such as yoga or meditation into your daily routine helps reduce stress by allowing you to pause from your hectic life
- Keep learning – don’t stop growing! Pick up new hobbies, learn a new language or get creative with DIY projects; there’s always something new to keep your mind sharp
The endgame here is to create a life you love and be filled with gratification – regardless of whether finding someone special is in the cards for you. The important thing is that you’re excited about what lies ahead for you and who comes along for the ride.