So many guys think the condition of their living space has nothing to do with impressing a woman. We talked to Cynthia Rogers, who’s a professional matchmaker in New York, about setting up what we like to call the “bachelor pad.”
“Women are looking for men and not boys, so having your bedroom come together is essential,” according to Cynthia.
It really matters what your place looks like because women focus on that more than men. If you have clothes spread out everywhere or it smells bad; she’ll make assumptions about your body too.
“To sum it up – neatness and no odors are key!” Before inviting her over, it’s important to make sure the place is really clean and tidy. Dispose of any garbage, scrub the floors and be sure to dust. All this stuff will occupy her mind if it’s not taken care of!
Cynthia commented that the room should not give off vibes of having just been shared with someone else. Rather it should portray your individuality and taste, not necessarily resembling the typical bachelor’s sex lair.
It might not hurt to clear out anything that could be a distraction too. This includes family photos or pictures with any ex-partners. As Cynthia puts it: “I definitely don’t want to see pics of him with his previous girlfriends!”
If you’re just in it for a one-night fling, you probably don’t care if your place is clean or not. However, if you want to give her the full experience, hold off on bringing her back to your bachelor pad until she has earned your trust.
If possible, use her house or a hotel the first few times so that when she eventually does come over it’ll make all the more impact. When that moment comes, be sure to spruce up your bachelor pad and make it as inviting as possible!
A Quick Personal Story
So, step one is making sure your bedroom doesn’t look like it’s in need of a major transformation. Got any pests? Hire an exterminator. If ‘cleaning’ to you means just moving dust around, enlist the help of some pros! Sure, it’ll cost but, trust me – totally worth it in the long run!
You DEFINITELY don’t want your lover becoming a sniﬄing and sneezing mess because of all the dust bunnies under the bed!
If you really want to wow sexy women, you need to go way beyond just keeping your place clean! Take a cue from Franz Mesmer who used to mesmerize his patients using mystical music, incense, stained glass windows and mirrors. If you manage to splurge on nice bedsheets or downy pillows all the better!
Transform your bedroom into an oasis she will keep coming back for more.
According to Cynthia, there are several specific things a man can do to his bachelor pad to greatly improve his odds with women. Here are her top suggestions.
When it comes time for romance, lighting matters. When designing a love nest, remember that dimmers are your friend – allowing you adjust the amount of light in the room depending on what kind of mood you’re hoping to set.
No one looks their best in fluorescent lighting, and women especially despise it.
Soft lighting not only helps create an intimate vibe, but it also makes both partners feel comfortable and relaxed while they’re engaging in amorous activities. The more relaxed the lighting is, the less likely your lover is to worry about that cellulite on her thighs!
As Cynthia says, “I’m all about soft lighting, sheets, music and candles – the softer all those things are, the better!”
Want to up your game, use candlelight! You don’t need an open flame for a romantic vibe, fake candles will do the trick.
Choosing the Right Scent
It’s been proven that fragrances can truly affect our emotions. One study demonstrated that when patients were exposed to a scent like vanilla, the majority of the people showed less stress.
Another study even discovered that spiced apple and powder-fresh smells could help people perform better under pressure.
And yet another study in Austria looked into the effect that a citrus or orange scent had on patients waiting for dental treatment. They found that it could have a relaxing effect, particularly among women. These effects included lowered levels of anxiety, a better mood and greater sense of calm.
So why not make use of this olfactory association by ensuring your bachelor pad smells nice? It can be as simple as opening a window for some fresh air, putting out some air fresheners, adding some potpourri to the area or getting scented candles.
You don’t want to overdo it, now! Don’t get too adventurous with the scents and combine them in excess. Strong odors can give women a nasty headache.
Don’t Forget About Aromatherapy
A powerful tool when creating any kind of space is incorporating aromatherapy into its décor. And making sure it complements everything else that’s going on within this sensual cocoon can really do wonders for setting an ambiance conducive for lovemaking!
Experiment with essential oils like:
- Ylang-ylang which has been known since ancient times as one of nature’s most potent aphrodisiacs
- Lavender induces relaxation; jasmine boosts libido
- Patchouli amplifies passionate energy
- Sandalwood invokes sensuality
- Bergamot promotes sexual confidence
- Rosemary awakens passion
These are all excellent choices when trying to establish a serene atmosphere between two lovers!
Put Up Some Mirrors
Mirrors can be a very enticing addition to any bachelor pad, so it’s beneficial to invest in one or more.
Consider purchasing a dresser with an attached mirror or mirrored closet doors. Not only will it give you the opportunity to get up close and personal with your lover watching you, but she will also enjoy being able to see herself as you undress her.
However, it is important to note that an overhead mirror may not be ideal for every type of relationship. Some individuals may be uncomfortable knowing that their partner has installed this kind of mirror and may think that they have ulterior motives.
Add Style with New Sheets
If you are planning to share your bed with a special someone, then you should consider upgrading from plain polyester sheets.
Satin, silk, or Egyptian cotton material will provide a better sensation against skin and promote the desired level of friction. Cynthia suggests that when selecting bedding for a romantic purpose, factors such as romance, sexiness, warmth and comfort should be taken into account.
Darker colors like red, navy or brown may be more suitable for hiding potential stains. You could even spray your preferred cologne on the bed to add an extra layer of intimacy before inviting her over.
Choose a Quality Mattress
When it comes to enjoying an intimate night with your partner, you’d want nothing less than a comfortable mattress without any creaks. Cynthia makes this clear, saying:
“A clean bed with a decent mattress is key – no creaks or squeaks allowed!”
You don’t want anything popping up and distracting you while having some quality time. Furthermore, skip out on the waterbed if possible as the swishing sound isn’t really conducive to intimacy!
Increase Your Pillow Collection
Having only one pillow may be all you need, but investing in a few more could make your bed extra cozy for when your lady stays over.
Try out different sizes and firmness levels of soft goose down pillows. Not only are they comfortable to sleep on, they can also serve as great supports for trying exciting new sexual positions and intensifying penetration.
Hang Drapes for Privacy
Cynthia emphasizes the importance of feeling safe and secure while engaging in a romantic activity. To ensure your bachelor pad offers that, it’s a great idea to have blinds on the windows for basic protection from prying eyes or unwanted lights.
And if you want to add an extra layer of privacy and coziness, invest in some thick curtains! That way, your special someone can undress with confidence. Free from any worries of nosy neighbors or other potential voyeurs.
Hang Some Classy Art on the Walls
Every bedroom needs some sort of decoration. Whether it’s framed artwork, wall hangings or photographs. But when it comes to selecting pieces for your special escape zone, why not opt for something both tasteful and sensually inspiring?
Choose art that speaks to you and your partner, or invest in a few pieces with erotic undertones that will arouse arousal.
Adding some beautiful oil paintings to the walls of your bachelor pad is a great way to enhance its aesthetic and create even more intimacy in the space.
Pay attention to the quality of the frame as well which can lend an extra element of sophistication to the artwork.
Music is Key
Who said the bedroom was all about being silent? Sure, keeping it quiet can be a great way to reinforce privacy and allow for peaceful sleep, but it can also lend itself to boredom or lack of atmosphere.
Music is an excellent tool to heighten your arousal and add another layer of intimacy to your special haven.
Think about investing in a Bluetooth speaker for your sanctuary that you can connect directly with your phone or laptop. Doing so will give you complete control over the tunes you rock out to – from classical music to sultry jazz – and up the ambiance factor tenfold!
Release Your Inner Florist
If you want to add a bit of romantic ambiance, fresh flowers can do the trick. For something unique, try wildflowers over carnations. Just avoid roses since their scent has been known to kill desire.
To really impress, make sure your plants are healthy and in full bloom!
Stock Up on Refreshments
It’s always a good idea to have some spirits readily available for social occasions. Why not treat her to something special and give her the chance to enjoy a classy drink?
Champagne is definitely a winner here, so consider investing in an expensive bottle. Red or white wines, as well as liquors, are also great options.
Cynthia suggests having chocolate on hand. It’s guaranteed to be appreciated by most women! Ice cream can be another tasty treat (just make sure it’s fat-free if you want to avoid any guilty feelings).
It’s always wise to keep protection materials and lubrication on standby, but make sure they are tucked away until your intimate session begins.
Never consider presenting a woman with a pre-used sex toy. You can always offer her an unused one that is still in its original packaging.
“Adding vibrators or other toys to the mix can certainly increase the level of excitement during intimacy but I would wait until you’ve had sex several times with her before introducing toys,” Cynthia says.
Freshen Up Your Bathroom Oasis
Women invest a lot of time in their bathrooms getting ready for the day – from shaving to styling their hair and applying makeup.
This makes it all the more essential that yours is spotless and well-equipped with extras like an extra razor or toothbrush.
Cynthia adds, “You can also think of adding luxuries such as big comfy towels and soft robes, women love that kind of stuff.”
Have a Good Thermostat
Last but not least, Cynthia suggests that setting the thermostat to be “neither too cold nor too hot” can make all the difference.
She says, “This makes it more comfortable and cozier for both of you. And a plus is, an adequately heated bedroom can also help with blood circulation which improves arousal levels.”