If you’re a guy who absolutely loves anal, then you’re probably thrilled that it’s become so much more mainstream in recent years.
Sure, it still has a touch of that naughty taboo factor to it. But it’s also something that more people – women included – are comfortable exploring and admitting that they like these days, so you’re less likely to have a request for anal met with shock or offense.
That means there’s no time like the present to try anal if you haven’t already. And if you’re already an anal sex veteran, it’s always possible to up your game a little.
That said, here are some go-to anal tips that anyone can benefit from.
1. Use the right lube
As any long time anal lover will tell you:
Lube is not optional when it comes to anal sex.
The anus and rectum don’t self-lubricate the way a vagina will, even when a person is super turned on, so it’s up to you to provide the necessary lubrication. Store bought lube does the job perfectly, but don’t make the mistake of thinking one option is really just as good as another.
Standard water-based lubes like the ones most people keep on hand may not be long-lasting enough to get you through an anal session without stopping and reapplying halfway through.
Try a silicone, hybrid, or ultra-pillowy lube formulated especially for anal instead. Just make sure the option you choose is condom-safe and toy-safe first if it needs to be.
Here’s a few I’ve tried and highly recommend:
2. Consider going for an orgasm before you start
There are a couple of reasons why you might want to try adding an orgasm to the menu before having anal sex.
First of all, if you’re the giver and anal tends to make you overexcited, making sure you’ve already had an orgasm earlier in the evening can make it easier to last longer.
On the other hand, if you’re the receiver and tend to tense up right before anal, an orgasm can really help loosen your body up and make it more receptive.
Two (or more) is usually better than one when it comes to orgasms, anyway.
3. Understand that anal isn’t supposed to hurt
You may have noticed that most people who hate anal or refuse to try it in the first place cite pain as the main reason. It’s crucial to understand that pain is not simply part of the experience when it comes to anal, and no one should attempt to push through any sort of pain when it comes to sex, anal or otherwise.
The most likely reasons for pain when attempting anal are tenseness and inadequate lubrication.
That said, it’s essential for the receiving partner to be as relaxed as possible before trying anal, as well as to be super generous when applying lube.
4. Pair anal sex with other sensations
Many people who are into anal are really into it, so they may also have a tendency to over focus on it when it’s happening. This is the case whether they’re giving or receiving.
But while there’s nothing necessarily wrong with focusing on what’s going on back there, you owe it to yourself to find out how great anal can be when paired with other options.
The “naughty” factor anal brings to the table pairs beautifully with a bit of dirty talk, role-playing, or light BDSM. And it’s also great with the same staples that take any penetrative sex to the next level – like nipple play and deep kissing.
Many people who love other types of anal play also love anilingus, the act of pleasuring the anus using the mouth and tongue.
So if the idea sounds appealing to you, don’t be afraid to give it a try. Just be sure to make cleanliness and hygiene top priorities to make sure things are done safely.
5. Try different sex positions
Not all sex positions are made for anal sex. Trying to have anal sex in the missionary position just isn’t going to work. That being said, there are several ideal positions that you can try give you a better experience (listed from easiest to most advanced):
- The Prone Bone – A great position for anal sex beginners. The receiver lies flat on their stomach with their legs spread apart while their partner lies on top of them and penetrates them from behind.
- Doggy Style – An oldy but goody. This position is easy to do and adds a several points to the “naughtiness factor.” In this position, the receiver kneels and bends over, typically at the waist, while someone else penetrates them from behind, typically on their knees as well.
- The Bulldog – A modified, more aggressive version of doggy style in which the receiver is still on their knees but also lowers their chest to whatever surface they’re on. The penetrating partner remains standing rather than kneeling behind them. This one allows for very deep anal experiences.
- Squatting Cowgirl – Summon your inner porn star for this one. This takes a lot of effort from the person on the receiving end, as they are not only only being anally penetrated, but they are also squatting over their partner controlling the speed and depth.
6. Try some toys
Speaking of additions that can take an anal sex session from good to great, you definitely don’t want to sleep on the concept of reaching for a toy or two once in a while.
Anal-specific toys like beads, plugs, or anal-safe vibrators can be great ways to explore some new sensations when you feel like stimulating your back door (or your partner’s).
Here’s some great ideas for anyone from beginners to advanced:
You don’t necessarily have to use the toys anally, though (although you do want to make sure any you do play with that way are anal-safe).
You can also use toys like vibrating cock rings, magic bullets, and nipple clamps while also enjoying anal penetration.
Stimulating multiple erogenous zones this way can make orgasms especially explosive and satisfying.
Ultimately, anal is similar to any other sex act in that it’s what you make of it. And the right approach can truly change everything, so it’s well worth the effort to ensure you’re doing things correctly.