Am I a Bisexual Man? How to Figure It Out and What to Do Next

The more we come to understand about human sexuality, the more we realize most people aren’t truly as straight as they think they are. Sexual orientation isn’t as black or white as was once assumed either, but rather something that exists on a sliding scale that ranges from very gay to very straight.

That said, it makes sense that a lot of people would land somewhere on the middle of that scale, but how can you really know whether or not you do? And if you decide that you are in fact bisexual, what does that mean for your self-image, your sex life, and your future relationships? Maybe it’s time to find out. And there are lots of bisexual myths that you should at least be aware of.

Bisexual or Just Bi-Curious?

If you’re currently wondering whether or not you’re bi, you’ve probably identified as straight for most of your life and with good reason. After all, you’re definitely sexually attracted to women… but sometimes you can’t help but wonder how the other half lives. You’ve always been told you’re more in touch with your sensitive side than most other men, and then there’s that man crush you have on Jason Momoa. It’s enough to make you wonder, but is it enough to actually make you a bisexual man?

gay man on bed

According to many experts, including Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey, sexuality is really pretty fluid. It doesn’t necessarily remain constant throughout an individual’s lifetime either, and the great majority of people probably fall somewhere on the spectrum between “totally straight” and “totally gay”. The closer to the middle of that scale you fall, the more likely you are to one day identify as a bisexual man once you start acting on your feelings.

Telltale Signs You Might Be Bisexual

At the end of the day, you are who you are and it’s actually perfectly fine not to want to wear a label one way or the other. However, many people find it empowering to finally figure out how best to describe their sexual orientation, and that may be the case for you too. Here are some signs that your occasional curiosity about other guys may be a lot more than a phase or a passing interest.

  1. Your porn tastes suggest it.

man looking on ipad

There’s a lot of evidence out there to suggest we’re all capable of becoming aroused by watching just about anybody get it on. That said, occasionally liking to look at other guys or even watch gay porn doesn’t necessarily make you gay or even bi. However, actively wanting to act on what you see might. If watching gay porn produces the same “wow, I want to try that” feelings hetero porn does, you definitely might be bi.

  1. Sexual activity feels equally “right” with both men and women.

Maybe you’ve actually had sex with another guy before or, at the very least, fooled around a little. How did it feel? Did it feel just as comfortable and “correct” to you as sex with a woman does? Would you happily do it again sometime if given the chance? If sexually activity with either gender feels the way you know sex is supposed to feel, you definitely could be bi.

  1. Part of you feels capable of dating and loving a man.

Bisexuality isn’t just about who you want to bone. It’s also about who you feel connected to, romantically and sexually. When you picture the possibility of dating and/or falling in love with another man, how does it scan to you? If it feels weirdly alien, then there’s a chance you just like to take a walk on the wild side sexually from time to time. But if it actually makes sense to you on some level, you really might be bi. And you should consider these aspects of dating bisexual men if you plan to do it.

  1. The word “bisexual” feels like it might fit.

Labels get a bad rap, but at the end of the day, the ones we do (and don’t) feel comfortable applying to ourselves say a lot about us. Does the idea of identifying as a bisexual man feel weird to you or is there a part of you that knows it fits you like a glove? If it feels like a fit, why not go ahead and wear it.

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bisexual word cloud

At the end of the day, you’re wondering about this right now for a reason. Maybe you’ve developed some complicated feelings for a guy friend that have left you wondering. Perhaps you’ve had the urge to branch out sexually lately and are at the point where you want to actively explore your options. Whatever the case may be, know that there are no wrong answers. It’s perfectly OK to be bi, but it’s fine to decide you’re really just a straight guy who’s occasionally bi-curious as well.

What to Do Next

If you really want to know whether or not you’re bi, the best way to find out might be to put it to the test. If there’s someone you’re attracted to, and you know they like you back, consider exploring it further and seeing how it feels. If it’s more of a sexual curiosity, try actually hooking up with another guy and assessing how the experience makes you feel.

Sexuality is a wonderful, beautiful, natural thing and there’s absolutely no shame in wanting to explore yours to the fullest. Consider this the permission you were looking for to do exactly that. At the very least, you’ll have a good time, and you might even find yourself in the process.

Rob West

Rob West

I worked with Matt to build several hookup apps for gay men, including Guyhop.

I've been in the scene for several years now. Eternally single until I find "him".

My background is in marketing and psychology, which gives me a unique perspective on the LGBTQ dating and hookup scene.