Whether you’re indulging in some spicy chat over your favorite instant message program or looking to turn the dial up on an in-person encounter, there’s nothing like a little dirty talk to get things cooking. Erotic chat that really hits the spot is about more than just blurting out a bunch of dirty words at random, though.
Being great at talking dirty means not only knowing what to say but when to say it, especially when you’re with someone you’re still getting to know. Here are some tips to keep in mind. You’ll be talking dirty like a boss in no time.
Try it out virtually first.
Text message and chat are great for finding your voice as a would-be dirty talker for some pretty good reasons. Not only do you not have to worry about multitasking or getting hung up on how your voice sounds, but you have more time to think about what to say before hitting send. Even a few extra seconds can make a huge difference.
Just make sure your potential partner is on the same page before you dive in because consent is essential. You don’t have to get formal about it. Just tell them where your mind is and ask how an adult conversation sounds right now. Make sure you ask before sending nudes and other erotic photos, as well.
Turn to erotica for inspiration.
Although you should definitely consider what the other person might think of as hot, keep in mind that it takes two to make a dirty talk session sizzle. Think about what gets you hot, too. What would you love to say to someone in bed? What would you want them to tell you?
If you’re not sure, there’s certainly nothing wrong with seeking out inspiration. Hop over to your favorite erotica site and do a little scrolling. If the talent is talkative enough, porn can be great for ideas, as well. Sometimes it beats having to come up with something completely off the top of your head.
Talk about past experiences.
If you’re talking to someone you’ve been with before, past experiences that were extra hot are always an ideal wellspring of inspiration. It works over text and in person. It also opens the door wide for repeat performances of scenarios that were super erotic.
Try getting started over text while you or your partner are at work, keeping things going all day, and then releasing that energy together in person later. Describe a recent encounter you had and tell them how badly you wish you could repeat it. Tell them you’re thinking about how they taste, look, or sound when you’re intimate. Let your imagination and your memories be your guide.
Include questions as part of the mix.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s okay if there’s just one talker between the two of you. As long as both of you are comfortable with how it happens, that’s all that matters. But if you’d like to encourage your partner to be more vocal or play along with you more often, giving them some well-timed questions to answer can be helpful.
Start by describing what you’re doing to them as you’re doing it. It can help intensify the sensations and make them more erotic. Then ask them whether they prefer one approach over another or how something you’re doing feels. Asking them what they’d like you to do to them next works, as well.
Dirty sounds work like a charm, as well.
Don’t underestimate the hotness of nonverbal sounds. Moaning, heavy breathing, gasping, and so forth aren’t just background noise. They can be every bit as hot as spoken words – maybe even hotter depending on the context.
Are you lost in the moment and at a loss for words? Did your partner just whisper something in your ear that really got your motor racing? Let them know with a groan, a moan, or a gasp that leaves no room for misinterpretation. They’ll know you’re into what’s going down and keep moving in that direction.
Check in afterward.
You don’t need to sit down for a formal debriefing after you’ve just gotten it on while enjoying some erotic talk. You should still check in with your partner after you’re done, though. It’s the best way to find out what got them going and did the trick. If something you said inadvertently offended them or turned them off, you’ll find out about that, too.
Take turns talking about things you liked. Feel free to share suggestions for next time, as well. Chatting after sex is always a good idea. Even if you’re talking about a one-time encounter, you’ll still be learning in preparation for next time. Make the most of the opportunity!