You’ve been hanging out with your crush for a while now and things are going great. You’re always together, whether it’s grabbing coffee, catching a movie or just studying for finals. But then one day they drop the dreaded “let’s just be friends” bomb on you. Your heart sinks and you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. You were sure that things were going somewhere, but now you’re left feeling confused and hurt.
If you’ve found yourself in the friend zone, you might be wondering how to get out. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers.
But don’t despair, here’s 10 of the best ways to avoid or escape from the notorious friend zone:
Be confident and let your interest be known from the beginning
When it comes to the friend zone, the best defense is a good offense. In other words, you want to make your interest known from the beginning and be confident about it. The friend zone is often the result of one party not making their intentions clear, so don’t be that person.
That being said, there is such a thing as being too forward. You don’t want to come on too strong and scare the other person off. Find a happy medium between being confident and being interested, and you should be in good shape.
One way to gauge whether or not you’re coming on too strong is to pay attention to the body language of the other person. If they seem uncomfortable or are trying to put distance between you, back off a bit. On the other hand, if they’re mirroring your body language and seem interested in what you’re saying, you’re probably in good shape.
The bottom line is that you need to be confident and let your interest be known from the beginning if you want to avoid the friend zone. Pay attention to the signals the other person is sending, and adjust accordingly. If you do that, you should be able to steer clear of the dreaded friend zone.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move
When it comes to the friend zone, the best way to avoid it is to make the first move. You may be thinking that you don’t want to come on too strong, but the truth is, if you don’t make a move, you may never get out of the friend zone.
Here are a few tips on how to make the first move without coming on too strong:
- Compliment her. Women love compliments, so start off by complimenting her on something you genuinely admire about her. But be sure not to go overboard – a simple, sincere compliment will do.
- Ask her out. Once you’ve broken the ice with a compliment, take things to the next level by asking her out on a date. Be confident and straightforward when you ask – she’ll appreciate your boldness.
- Make physical contact. Once you’re on your date, make sure to physically escalate things by touching her hair, holding her hand, or putting your arm around her waist. This will help create a more intimate connection between you two.
- Go for the kiss. At the end of the date, go for the kiss! This is probably the most important step – if you don’t make a move at the end of the date, chances are you’ll be stuck in the friend zone forever. So go for it!
Making the first move can be scary, but it’s definitely worth it if you want to avoid the friend zone. Just remember to be confident, genuine, and physical, and you’ll be sure to make a great impression.
Be direct and honest about your feelings
Many people fear being rejected or misunderstood, so they take the passive route of hoping their feelings will be reciprocated without ever expressing them. This is a recipe for disaster and will almost certainly result in you being stuck in the friend zone. If you want to avoid this fate, you need to be brave and put your feelings out there.
It can be scary to tell someone how you feel, but it’s always better to know where you stand than to continue living in limbo. If the other person doesn’t feel the same way, at least you’ll have closure and can move on. And if they do feel the same way, then you’re one step closer to something more.
So if you’re crushing on someone hard, don’t be afraid to let them know. It might seem daunting, but it’s the only way to get out of the friend zone for good.
Don’t play games or send mixed signals
Don’t play games. This includes playing hard to get, or trying to make your interest in the other person obvious without actually saying anything. Games are manipulative and will only make things worse. If you want to be more than friends, be honest about it.
Don’t send mixed signals. This means sending signals that you’re interested in the person, but then backing off when they start to reciprocate those feelings. This will only confuse and frustrate the other person, and it’s not fair to lead them on. If you’re not sure how you feel, it’s better to just stay quiet until you figure it out.
Be yourself and don’t try to be someone you’re not
“The best way to avoid the friend zone is to be yourself,” says dating expert Hayley Quinn. “If you try to be someone you’re not, the other person will eventually see through it and you’ll end up in the friend zone anyway.”
It’s a simple piece of advice, but it’s one that’s often overlooked. So many people try to be someone they’re not when they’re first getting to know someone, in an attempt to impress them. But the truth is, being yourself is the best way to get out of the friend zone.
“People want to date someone they can be themselves around,” says Quinn. “If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, you’re not giving them the chance to get to know the real you. And that’s what they need to do if they’re going to decide whether or not they want to date you.”
So if you’re wondering how to stay out of the friend zone, just be yourself. It sounds easy enough, but it’s something that so many people struggle with. If you can master it, though, you’ll be on your way to successful dating.
Don’t be too available or always available
One strategy is to become less available. This may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. If you are always available to hang out with her or do whatever she wants, she will start to see you as more of a friend and less of a potential romantic partner.
However, if you start playing hard to get and making yourself less available, she may start to see you in a new light.
Don’t do everything for them or be their personal servant
Do you want to be friends? Do you want a committed relationship? If you want the latter, don’t do everything for them or be their personal servant when trying to avoid the friend zone.
You know the drill. You meet someone, you hit it off, and then you start doing everything for them. You’re at their beck and call 24/7. You do everything they ask without complaint. You’re basically their personal servant. And what do you get in return? The dreaded friend zone.
Don’t get me wrong, being helpful and doing things for your partner is great. But there’s a fine line between being helpful and being a doormat. If you’re always at their beck and call, they’re going to start taking you for granted. They’ll start to think of you as their personal servant instead of their equal partner.
So how do you avoid the friend zone? It’s actually pretty simple. Just don’t do everything for them. Don’t be at their beck and call 24/7. Do your own thing. Live your own life. And most importantly, don’t let them take advantage of you.
Have a life outside of them and don’t revolve your world around them
It’s important to have your own life and not revolve your world around the person you want to be more than friends with.
If you only focus on them, then you’re going to come across as needy and clingy. No one wants that. Instead, focus on having your own hobbies, interests, and friends. Live your life and let them see that you’re an interesting and well-rounded person.
One way to show that you have a life outside of them is by talking about other things when you’re around them. Don’t make every conversation all about them or try to one-up everything they say. Talk about your own experiences and share stories about other people in your life. This will help create a balance in the conversation and make it more interesting for both of you.
Flirt with them and show physical affection in appropriate moments
This is one is a no brainer, but if you want to avoid the friend zone, you need to flirt with the girl you’re interested in. This means making eye contact, smiling, and complimenting her. Basically, you want to let her know that you’re interested in her – not just as a friend.
Second, you need to show physical affection in appropriate moments. This doesn’t mean going in for a make-out session every time you see her – but it does mean touching her arm or shoulder when you’re talking, giving her a hug when you say goodbye, and so on. Again, it’s all about letting her know that you’re interested in her on a physical level as well as a platonic one.
Finally, make sure you’re spending time with her in situations that lend themselves to romance. This means avoiding big group settings and instead opting for one-on-one outings or smaller gatherings with other couples.
Plan thoughtful surprises or special dates
One way to get out of the friend zone is to plan thoughtful surprises or special dates. This shows the person that you’re interested in them and want to spend time with them.
It’s also important to make sure that your body language is indicating that you’re interested in them – stand close to them, make eye contact, and touch them lightly on the arm or shoulder.
If you’re not sure how to get started, try planning a special date for just the two of you. Make reservations at a nice restaurant, buy tickets to a show or concert, or plan an outing to an amusement park or other fun activity.
Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that your crush will enjoy and that will give you a chance to talk and get to know each other better.
If you’re already friends with the person you’re interested in, try doing something that will surprise them. Bring them flowers or a small gift for no reason, write them a heartfelt letter telling them how much they mean to you, or cook them their favorite meal.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that any of these strategies will work 100% of the time. But if you’re looking for ways to escape the friend zone with a woman, these are definitely worth a try.