When you’re not interested in a serious relationship, casual flings are nothing short of a godsend. You get to enjoy perks like regular sex, fun conversation, and some occasional companionship, but without the need to make promises to someone that you probably won’t be able to keep. Unfortunately, though, not everyone feels the same way. You know you’re dealing with such a person when they sit you down for the dreaded “what are we” chat. Here’s how you can avoid ever having to have one of those again.
Figure out what “keeping it casual” means to you.
You might be surprised just how many people don’t understand what they’re looking for when it comes to their sexual and romantic life, so it’s essential to be straight with yourself. Do you like holding hands and having deeply intimate conversations with the people you date? Are you the type of person who expects to bring a fling to a wedding or Sunday dinner at your parents?
If so, you may well not like the idea of committing, but you’re not genuinely looking for something casual. No-strings-attached dating isn’t just about drawing and maintaining boundaries with other people. You need to be able to do the same with yourself.
Be crystal clear with the people you date.
So many dating misunderstandings could easily be avoided with a little clarity and honesty right at the beginning when it matters most. Casual sex and no-strings-attached relationships are a lot more socially acceptable these days, so there’s no need to be vague or to lie to people to get yourself laid.
Bring up the topic of what you’re looking for (and what you’re not) as soon as it’s clear something might happen between you and the other person. Don’t assume they already know it’s a one-night stand or a shallow fling just because you met at a nightclub or a bar. Tell them outright and ask them what they’re looking for as well.
Separate your fling from the rest of your social life.
One of the more effective ways to keep boundaries intact when it comes to your flings is to compartmentalize them. Just as this isn’t someone you should be bringing along as a plus-one to important family gatherings or events like weddings, you don’t need to be meeting and socializing with each other’s close friends either.
The more the two of you interlink your lives, the tougher it’s going to be to keep things casual. At the very least, the other person will start to get the impression you’re looking for something more serious than you are. That “what are we” talk you don’t want to have won’t be far behind.
Maintain your independence.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the other person’s company when you’re having a fling or with caring about their feelings. You’re both human beings, so you should be treating each other with respect and consideration. There’s a big difference between treating someone respectfully and treating someone like your other half, though.
Go out of your way to retain your independence. Limit the amount of time you spend together and avoid doing things like spending many multiple nights in a row at their place. Make it a point to continue seeing other people and encourage them to do the same. Don’t drop other plans you have to spend time with your fling either. Otherwise, it’s too easy for one or both of you to ease into what’s basically a relationship without the title or the certainty that comes with it.
Switch up your dating apps.
An excellent go-to mobile platform is a must when it comes to meeting people to hook up with, but you want to make sure you’re using the right one for you. Tinder can be a great place to meet someone to enjoy something casual with, but it’s not failsafe. A lot of people on there are at least open to the idea of a serious relationship, so it’s not uncommon for a promising Tinder date to agree to a fling while secretly hoping for more.
If you’re serious about keeping strings out of the equation when it comes to your hook-ups, it’s worth your while to check out an alternative like Mixxxer. Mixxxer is a mobile platform exclusively for people who love connecting with cool people and getting laid but aren’t looking for anything serious. Mixxxer even uses GPS technology to take the guesswork out of meeting people on the fly or when you’re out of town.
No more worrying that you’re hooking up with someone who doesn’t know what they want. No more mixed signals and beating around the bush. Just fun, flirty, casual encounters guaranteed to stay drama-free. Try it for yourself and experience the difference!