Not everyone wants to deal with a recent break-up by swearing off dating and staying home alone until they’re completely over everything that happened. Some people find it much more natural to get right back out there, have a little fun, and sow their wild oats for a while instead. If you’re the latter, then you’re probably one of the many that actually benefit from rebound relationships.
Rebound relationships tend to get a bad rap in certain circles, but it’s largely undeserved. No, it’s not the best idea to jump into something else serious right after ending a major relationship. However, if you’re fully aware you’re on the rebound and make your choices accordingly, a rebound fling could be just the thing to help you bounce back sooner rather than later.
The key to success lies in choosing the right rebound partner. You want someone that’s up for having a carefree affair to remember, not someone that’s clingy because they aren’t on the same page you are. The following tips can help you make a choice you’re bound to be happy with.
Go against your usual type.
One of the most common mistakes people make when looking for a solid rebound partner is they instinctively go for their usual type – the type of person they’d want to be in a relationship with. Not only does this completely miss the point of having a rebound fling in the first place, but you run the risk of falling into familiar patterns and actually winding up in a relationship despite that being the last thing you want.
At its best, a rebound fling is a chance to try someone new on for size and experience something very different from what you’re used to. Instead of looking for the kind of person you’d bring home to mom, give yourself permission to date someone less practical, but with lots of potential for fun. This should be someone you’re intrigued by and attracted to, but that you’d never in a million years actually want to be in a relationship with.
Choose someone that isn’t looking for anything serious.
Here in the modern age, there’s no longer any need to pretend you’re interested in a serious relationship if all you really want is a good time. Plenty of people far prefer the open, no-strings-attached approach to sex and romance. There are even those out there that have made it a permanent lifestyle choice and are very open about it, so finding someone you can be 100% honest with in turn shouldn’t be much of an issue.
Not sure where to actually meet such a person? You can definitely go the old-fashioned route if you prefer and frequent all the usual local hot spots (e.g. bars, clubs, or parties). Don’t underestimate the value of the right online dating platform though! You can conveniently meet and mingle with plenty of eligible singles right there on your smartphone whenever you have a few free minutes. Try an option like Mixxxer that caters strictly to people looking for sexy, casual fun for best results.
Choose someone you don’t already know.
Although you might think that a rebound fling is the perfect opportunity to finally bed that sexy “friend of a friend” you’ve been lusting after for years, you’ll definitely want to think again. The same thing goes for that hottie from the next office over at work. The idea is to have a little casual fun, not risk bringing unnecessary drama into other parts of your life. Actually knowing the person is another risk factor for unintentionally winding up in another relationship way too soon as well.
Ideally speaking, the person you choose will be a complete stranger. You won’t have a history together. They won’t be anyone that happens to know any of your friends, family members, or coworkers either. This should be a person that you’ll most likely never see again once your fun little fling has run its course. Save that flirty text you’re dying to send your secret crush for when you’re actually ready to consider a serious relationship again.
Make animal magnetism a top priority.
When you’re getting over a break-up, it’s normal to have days when you’re lonely, bored, and just plain sick of missing the way things were. While a rebound fling can definitely help alleviate some of those feelings, boredom and sadness shouldn’t be the reasons why you’re having one in the first place. Decide you’re going to have a fling because it’s exciting, exhilarating, and sexy.
Make sure your fling has all the electricity you’re craving by choosing someone you’re truly attracted to on a carnal level. Not only is the sex so much better with someone that turns you on almost to distraction, but there’s nothing like taking a five-alarm hottie to bed to build your confidence back up after a bad breakup. You’re still hot and you’ve definitely still got it, so why not prove that to yourself by connecting with a walking, talking fantasy instead of “just anyone”?
Choose someone you can be honest with about your situation.
An ideal rebound partner isn’t just someone you can turn to for casual companionship and great sex. It’s someone you can be totally honest with as far as your situation goes. You should be able to actually tell them you’re looking to have a meaningless rebound fling and rest easy in the knowledge that they’re totally OK with that.
The right person might even go well out of their way to make sure your experience is a positive one. After all, everyone knows what it’s like to go through a bad breakup or to lose a relationship that meant a lot to them. The right rebound partner may even welcome the chance to be there for someone else in exactly the way that they need without judgment or expectation.
Pick someone low maintenance.
Someone who’d make a great rebound fling isn’t just sexy and terrific in bed. They’re also someone with plenty going on in their life. They’re the type of person with a career, friends, hobbies, and maybe even other lovers. In other words, their fling with you would just be one of many things they currently have on their agenda.
Busy, well-rounded people are the least likely to suddenly turn needy on you at a point in your life where that’s the last thing you need. They don’t need to be overinvolved in your life because they’re too busy living their own. They’re self-sufficient as well and aren’t the type to look to others to solve their problems for them. People like that are the least likely to become too attached and to wind up being more trouble than they’re worth.
Choose someone willing to agree to an open time limit.
No two breakups are the same and neither are any two rebound periods. Depending on the circumstances surrounding your past relationship partner and the reasons why you broke up, it could take you a couple of weeks to move on or it could take you the better part of a year. In other words, you have no way of knowing how long you’ll want to continue with your fling, so you need a partner that’s willing to take things as they come.
A good candidate for a fling will be happy to enjoy your connection for as long as it lasts, but will also be willing to call it quits the minute you’re ready to move on. They won’t ask questions or expect you to justify your decision to break things off. They’re not the type whose feelings will be hurt either. They’ll realize that’s what rebound relationships are all about and they won’t take anything about it personally.
Pick a person that’s willing to keep things simple.
Lots of people want and need their rebound relationships to be something more than just sex. They may also want the person to be someone they can talk to or turn to when they just want a little companionship and that’s fine. However, you don’t want to let things get too complicated, so choose a person that’s looking to keep things nice and simple for both of you.
Don’t choose someone that wants you to act like a bona fide significant other during your time together. They can’t expect you to accompany them to weddings, build relationships with their friends, or come with them to Sunday dinner at their parents’ house. They shouldn’t expect to meet your family, be invited out to bond with your friends, or accompany you to work functions either.
Rebounds by their very nature are temporary, so even if you won’t want to complicate that inevitable parting of the ways. Also, overcomplicating things unnecessarily – even if you really enjoy someone as a person – makes it that much harder to break things off when the right time comes. Make a commitment to keeping things light and only consider potential partners that are willing to do the same. You’ll both be glad you did!